6 Answers

  1. There is such a feature, but you won't like it.

    The fact is that this feeling of “this is my person” is associated with the child's imprint of the parent figure. If we are similar to the parent figure of the interlocutor, then he has this very “irresistible craving”.

    The bad news is that:

    1. The image will have to match. And you will be mercilessly hated for all the behavior that is knocked out of this image. “I thought you were good, but it turns out…” You can't have any hobbies or activities, you can't have your own needs and personal life. Because all this means that you are a bad parent and do not love your chosen one.

    2. You can not show weakness and dependence. The parent figure for the inner child is the omnipotent, omniscient, all-controlling God. You can't need anything, you can't lose your temper, you can't not know something or not be able to. You always need to control yourself, you always need to be loving, you always need to be calm and balanced. Otherwise , you are not a parent, but a damned impostor and cannibal.

    3. Accordingly, violence will be regularly used against you. Physical or moral-it doesn't really matter. Because if you are a parent, you are all-powerful, and you will endure anything. The amount of damage caused by the partner will not be recognized, and all your complaints will be considered as violence.

    4. You will never have enough strength to complete all the previous points. Even taking care of a small child is hard work, and when a small child weighs 100 kg and is physically and financially independent, there is not a single chance that you will pull it off.

    Alternatively, you can use violence first, and become an abuser yourself. With a certain amount of independence and knowledge of how the psyche works, this is not so difficult. You can feed your partner promises to be a good parent for a very, very long time.

    And if you don't intend to get into the partner's parent imprint, then alas. Few people even realize that they have this imprint, and few are able to reach the idea of ” let me not communicate with my parent, but with a real person.” At the same time, magic and chemistry will not be enough, only for the first 3 months of the relationship (there the brain has its own fun party with a colorful cocktail of hormones). Then it turns out that this is a stranger and a separate person and you will have to negotiate every little thing with blood and sweat – because “understanding with half a word” is also about the parental imprint. And few people want to do this work.

    So no magic, just create a relationship with someone who is ready to look not for a magical love, but for responsibility and skill in building real relationships.

  2. How have you veiled your interest in manipulating your potential partner's feelings)

    In general, D. Carnegie has long described how people like it in his works (although he died lonely and unhappy, and did not get what he wanted – recognition of himself by others as a friend).

    In addition, there is a psychology of influence, which studies, among other things, the questions that interest you.

    But it is much better, with such an inquisitive mind and interests, to try to answer the question-why do you even try to control someone, while giving yourself and your unconscious interest “for a kilometer”, instead of finding out the possible truth… that this is just a possible fear of opening up your feelings due to your increased vulnerability, for example,or using a familiar pattern in relationships that you once saw and thought should be so.

  3. Love is chemistry. Just hormones. There was a study on how to fall in love with yourself. “36 questions to fall in love” Google it. You ask them to each other and answer sincerely, then look into each other's eyes for 4 minutes and voila) this researcher spoke at ted, you can watch “falling in love is easy”on YouTube.

  4. This is probably not an answer to the question, but some alternative opinion, most of the comments. It is very likely that genetics are of great importance (at least in the case of a sudden outbreak of sympathy). Some set of genes that ensures complementarity (mutual correspondence) of two individuals, otherwise there is no way to explain “love at first sight”. By the way, love exists in animals – it is more evident, or noticed by people, in our smaller domestic “brothers” – cats, dogs, horses. Of course, love is many-sided and diverse, but, of course, there is also one that is determined by genetics.

  5. Indeed, if the beloved is similar to her mother, he will love her, and if not, he will make a mistake, I realized this for a long time, we are different from his mother. I'm even tall, but she's not.

  6. I'll answer the last part of the question:”…So, I'm wondering if there are any ways for a person to fall in love with you in the sense that they understand that you need to be together and you are what they need?”

    There is a method that has been tested for centuries, I know exactly what is practiced by Jews. It's called “marriage”. When they get married, it's important for them to understand-can you live with this person? If both come to the conclusion that they can live together, then they marry, but after marriage they must love each other, because husband and wife. That is, their love becomes a family duty, and their spouse should be treated with love.

    Not a bad approach, in my opinion.

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