7 Answers

  1. There is no deep meaning there – it is just another proof of the extreme infantile nature of prison society. For the most part, uneducated and intemperate newcomers are easily caught out for provocation.

  2. There are no deep meanings here – only the emptiness of the soul of those who seek answers to such vile questions, and the stinking spirit of ignorance.

    The lives of such animals are worthless.

  3. This question has a relatively deep meaning and it should be understood that this is a rather figurative expression that should not be taken too literally )Which one you'll sit on, which one you'll put your mother on.In one case, a person will have to experience severe physical pain, and in the future it is possible to die, in the second, total humiliation by prison standards of human dignity, i.e. very strong psychological pain with which some people can live quite hard.So the question is quite philosophical, on which of these chairs you are ready to sit yourself, and on which one to put a loved one.That is a question of priorities ,to stay alive and �humiliated or want to end physical pain or even death,what you in case of necessity, can choose for loved ones and for yourself,this is a very hypothetical situation and, in fact, you can usually avoid such extremes in the form of other solutions ,but sometimes not ).This is if the answer is extremely simple and clear

  4. Prominent thinkers of the past spoke out on this issue at one time:

    There are two chairs. On one, the peaks are chiseled, on the other x*and jerked off. Which one will you sit on, which one will you put your mother on?

    Plato: You can see the two chairs as a reflection of the dualism of body and soul. If the chair with x*yami symbolizes lowly bodily thoughts, then the chair with spades reflects the militant aspirations of the eternal soul. I choose peaks.

    Aristotle: Knowledge of each individual property must be acquired from experience, so I will try both chairs. However, x*and I like it better.

    Lao Tzu: I think I'll stand.

    Thomas Aquinas: God alone is the true being; therefore, we must persevere in all the torments of the body, denying the lust and filthy desires of the body. So I'll sit on the pikes.

    Michel Montaigne: A person cannot know the absolute truth, and therefore it makes no difference which chair to sit on.

    Schopenhauer: Only anger, selfishness, and compassion guide human activity. So sit in your own fucking chairs, asshole, and I'll give you a little sympathy.

    Voltaire: But where are these chairs located? In one place or everywhere, without taking up space? I don't know anything about it. Are they made of a single substance? I don't know anything about it. Spades are chiseled or fucked and jerked off? I don't know anything about it.

    Rene Descartes: I'm sitting on a chair, so I exist.

    Kant: The question of two chairs lies in the domain of the antinomies of pure reason. If a chair with x*y can be called a thesis, then a chair with peaks is its antithesis. Given that the solution to antinomies can never be found in experience, I will just sit in front of these chairs and think for a long time, but in the end I will not choose anything.

    Hegel: The answer to the questions that philosophy leaves unanswered is that they must be put differently. There is a lack of a third chair, which would be huge x*i, studded with sharp spikes. Oh, did I say that out loud?

    Marx: Let's just put the capitalists in a chair with f * * * s and the imperialists in a chair with spades.

    Freud: I think the answer is obvious.

    Nietzsche: I'll put my feet up on both chairs and dance because I'm fucked up! Hooray for me!

    Berdyaev: I'll take sharpened peaks, cut down x*and jerk off, every child knows that.

    Camus: In utter despair, I will lie down on the floor near the chairs and stare at the ceiling. And then I'll die, just like the rest of us.

    Heidegger: Which chair should be used to read the meaning of being, which chair should be the starting point for discovering being? The question of two chairs is an existential question that is experienced. But given that experience always already takes place in the world and being, I won't sit on any of them. Look how many philosophers before me have already sat on them!

    Derrida: A chair? What is a “chair”? What is “x*y”? What are “peaks”? These are just words. We are locked in the confines of our language and only know the world through it. So your question doesn't make sense.

    P.S. This is copy-paste, the author is unknown.

  5. Of course, I do not have such knowledge as Mr. lawyer from above, but I am sure that understanding the full depth of this phrase comes after passing the test com.ua

  6. This is an integral part of the spontaneously formed rite of initiation, simply “registration”.�

    Here's a rough explanation:

    “In the first riddle about two chairs, there is an indication of the existence of a sacred thing in the life of a convict – a mother and anal virginity. Sacred is used here in the sense of “super-valuable” – if caring for the mother would be a simple concern for the welfare of another, then in case of great danger, it would be allowed to sacrifice her, as the kents mentioned in other riddles. Similarly , if taking care of anal virginity was simply an attempt to avoid suffering, then sacrificing it, for example, to save another person from suffering would not be shameful, but a noble, or at least acceptable, act. But from the point of view of an ideological thief, “take a dick in the ass” or “sell your mother” is impossible not because it leads to suffering, but because it is impossible. Such irrationality, however, has its own rationality – as our Prophet said – vertebrates are evolutionarily more successful than invertebrates. Super values are the backbone of an intelligent being.

    Another point is that virtually all tasks put the subject in front of a sadistic choice – and the correct answer is to find the third way – “take sharpened peaks, cut down jerked cocks”, “in every forest there are clearings, in every sea there are islands”. Or declare both of the proposed options impossible/illegal actions – “ass is not given, mother is not sold”, “there are no forks in the zone”. Such riddles are a kind of basic training of ingenuity – and at the same time a test for its presence. The thief is constantly in a dangerous environment, and must find non-obvious ways out of difficult situations-this is the only way he can survive. Moreover, it is interesting that most of the answers are folding or even rhyming-they say that the third option should not be too difficult – and therefore potentially unrealistic, and ideally it should be found with acrobatic skill, and intuitively.

    The third point that I would like to point out is the development of indifference to some external demands of reality. This includes, for example, the riddle about the train-its conclusion is that the thief must first take care of the super-valuable-about preserving his spine, and secondly, about his selfish profit. In light of all this – and in the presence of a hostile environment – the lives and well – being of individuals on the far left should be ignored-because they themselves will easily ignore your life and well-being. “Today kents, and tomorrow cops” – that is, left-wing usernames can turn out to be not only potential friends, but also potential enemies. A similar pattern is found in riddles about “give a pass”, “sew a bottle”, “play on a broom” – they say, you offer to do something, show proof of the possibility and necessity. Moreover, it is necessary to answer in such a way that the proponent quickly dispels doubts about the uselessness or impossibility of fulfilling his offer.”


  7. I don't have an answer, but there are a lot of other similar prison “jokes”.

    Don't believe, don't be afraid, don't ask.

    Read, giggle, don't be sad.


    There are two chairs, on one peaks are chiseled, on the other x*and dr*chen, which one will you sit on, which one will you put your mother on?

    Answer: I'll take the peaks of tochena, cut down x*and other * cheny, I'll sit down myself and plant my mother.

    Answer #2: I'll sit on the peaks myself, I'll put my mother on my knees.


    You fly by parachute, on the right-the forest of hu*v, on the left – the sea of gov*a. Where are you going to sit?”

    Answer: Every forest has a clearing, and every sea has an island.

    THE PIT:

    You fell into a pit. In the pit pie and fuck. What will you eat, what will you put in the *opu?

    Answer: I'll take a pie and climb out of the pit.


    In F*pu give or sell your mother?

    Answer: F*pa is not given, the mother is not sold.


    Question in the forehead: With a fork in the eye or in the f * ck time?

    Answer: There are no forks in the zone.

    Answer #2: I don't see any one-eyed people here.


    What will you eat — soap from the table or bread from parasha?

    Answer: The table is not a soap dish, parasha is not a bread box.


    You and Kent are walking in the Sahara Desert. At a distance of one hundred kilometers, there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly, a venomous snake crawls out, pounces on Kent and bites his dick. What are you going to do?

    Answer: If Kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If it's lower, he'll suck it off himself.

    Answer #2: Today is Kent, and tomorrow is a cop.


    You're riding on a train, chained to levers that can be turned either left or right. There's a fork in the road ahead — mother tied to a post on the right, kents on the left, about ten people. Where will you turn, who will you run over?

    Answer: Today kents, and tomorrow cops.

    The answer to all the riddles above is: I'll wake up.


    The convict is sitting on the shkonar, they open the feeder and give him balanda, dry bread. In the morning, they open the feeder again and see the bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the prisoner is alive?

    Answer: The dice are playing.


    Once upon a time there were two roosters, one fucked up before dinner and the other after dinner.

    Answer: Who already has it worse.


    They draw a soccer goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What are you going to do?”

    Answer: Ask for a pass.


    They give you a broom in your ear and say, ” Play something on the guitar.” What are you going to do?”

    Answer: Give me the broom with the words”And you set up first”


    They break the bottle and say: “Sew it up.” What are you going to do?”

    Answer: Ask them to turn it inside out.


    They ask you to play the battery like an accordion. What are you going to do?”

    Answer: Ask them to inflate the bellows.

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