4 Answers

  1. Thank you for your question!

    This is a very important topic and a practical task that is especially relevant in our time. Cheerfulness, lightness are directly related to spontaneity. As a child, everyone was able to act from the heart, spontaneously, not predictably. With age, a person loses the balance between spontaneity, actions from the heart and rational, calculating behavior. Prudence, calculation blocks the channel of energy flowing through the soul. Soul energy is a huge limitless source, children do not get tired, they are much more provided with the energy of knowing the world, more open, less appreciate what is happening.

    And here begins the connection in practice of this thought: “be like children, but don't be children.”

    You can start by gradually manifesting yourself, doing things from impulse, from desire, without rationalizing, without allowing the mind to sort out and evaluate what is good or bad about it.

    Track inside how the rational mind turns on and “extinguishes” the impulse, the desire of the soul. Gradually, the skill will come to combine, or separate, the voice of the heart and the voice of the mind. Each of them has its own time and business.

    • Look for new ways of doing things (for example, getting to work by a different route than yesterday).

    • Trying to do something new (for example, take a couple of lessons on an instrument that has never been played) greatly expands the feeling of yourself, opens up new facets, opens the door to ease and freedom.

    • Notice people who have this quality, learn from them, and feel their condition. (For me, one of such vivid examples is Slava Polunin).

    • Listen to music that gives the energy of joy lightness, courage, gives an excess of energy.

    • Dancing allows you to feel a good state of lightness, openness and freedom to express yourself.

    And of course, in the course of self-regulation, great attention is paid to states of spontaneity, creativity, and getting out of stereotyped thinking and behavior. My favorite technique, once helped me and now I share this knowledge with others.

    Good luck to you!

  2. Before you assign yourself a quality that you don't have, you should take an inventory of what you have.

    By definition, you can take and how hello to become your opposite 1) in your fantasies 2) after some kind of roof-breaking event that radically changes your personality (this is not planned) 3) accepting what is, allowing it to stay, enjoy itself as I am, and later the state that is, perhaps, will give way to some other.

    But if you constantly deny their qualities, their states, then they will cling and refuse to leave.

    I will also add that there are two reasons for the seriousness and habit of suppressing the storm inside:

    innate qualities a la genes

    purchased items

    innate accept and love

    we deal with the acquired ones and if we want, we buy new ones.

    in particular, such restraint can be a reaction to how important people treated us, etc., etc. about childhood and psychotherapy, ok ok, I'll stop there)))))

  3. You know, my first thought is to practice.

    You write that you are an adult with a good sense of danger-excellent.

    Spontaneity and trust can be developed through behavior.

    That is, by behaving spontaneously, openly, and trusting. And meeting the consequences of this behavior.

    • Yesterday I came back from Irkutsk, I conducted a training session there, and again we went out with the participants for two days, approached passers-by with various exercises. Often participants are afraid to do this at first. And then… I remember doing such uncharacteristic things in 1997, after my first training session, which I participated in. It is VERY scary to approach and start talking about something with completely strangers. And you start-and after some time you are bathed in communication, as if in champagne bubbles! – I am a melancholic, introvert, before starting psychology classes I was still three years old.

    Feedback from exercise participants – what people are into… Salekhard, Moscow, Krasnoyarsk, Sochi, Tyumen, Kovrov, etc. – …it turns out to be much more open and friendly than they thought.

    I have been conducting corporate trainings for many years, taking documents lightly: most often, we sign contracts ourselves after the training, along with the act of completed work; I do not ask for prepayment. In 20 years, there have been three unpleasant cases, and only one of them failed to get money.

    On the other hand, this is a fully realized risk.

    • …Today we agreed to call the owner, also about the corporate training – a potential client. We never talked – I was just recommended to her. Audio call, asks for: how will we communicate, audio, or video?.. And I instantly burst out: “Let's have a video. I specially ironed the shirt!))” – Well, here it is-spontaneity. This is experience and trust in yourself and the interlocutor, that you can be yourself, not a solid uncle, but like this, a little funny – and the conversation went very well…

    Once again , I think we should just practice this behavior and face the consequences. I wouldn't say that to a five – year-old child, but I would say that to you.

  4. Be spontaneous. There is a contradiction in this. At the same time, do something freely, and at the same time be guided by some rule. For example, “spontaneously” want to eat, or” spontaneously ” buy a plane ticket.

    I think first you need to think about what kind of lifestyle you want. And think about how your skills, strengths, and rationality will help you build your preferred future.

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