What to do if you have lost the feeling of love and falling in love?
I've been unlucky in love for the last 6 years. I fell in love unrequited, but very much. My days were very busy, as if all this non-reciprocity made me somehow become a better person or something. Over time, I realized that it was all about my low self-esteem, I began to raise it, took care of myself and at the same time was the subject of love. I was in an emotional swing, sometimes I feel good, sometimes I feel very bad. The mood changed several times during the day. Falling in love inspired me. But soon it stopped – I found reciprocity. But after a few days, I began to understand that 6 years of my loneliness, and the desire to be loved, were much more interesting and colorful than really being loved. I immediately got bored because someone liked me. As if I had fulfilled my goal. We broke up. But now I'm like an inanimate object. I don't want anything, no love, no sex, no communication with the opposite sex. As if there was no interest at all. As if I don't need it anymore, and I already know everything. It's like I've done my job and I won't get anything new from women. Friends all stick to relationships. They have quarrels, resentments against each other, but they still somehow manage to continue to live with each other, to love. They see each other constantly and manage not to get bored with each other. And I was completely exhausted from the second consecutive meeting with a girl, as if I was doing it through force.Is this a normal condition for a man, or do I have some psychological problems?
Good afternoon!
Usually we get bored with what we have in excess. Or we get tired of wasting our energy on something and feel somewhat drained.
The feeling that you set yourself a goal -to find love.
Your unrequited infatuations may actually be the answer, the key to your problem. Why were infatuations unrequited? Have you ever fallen in love with the wrong people? Did you choose a certain type of person with whom you obviously couldn't have the relationship that you dreamed of? Why did they choose such people? Did you want to compensate for something in yourself with such love?
What you describe is similar to burnout. You were focusing too much, giving too much energy to this topic. And now, as a consequence, you feel empty. It is ok. Give yourself time to recover.
Any state is normal. Until you can see for yourself that this is becoming a problem for you. Do you want to continue living in this state? Are you satisfied with the lack of relationships? Then there is no problem!
If you are not satisfied with this life situation, then there is a problem. But you can only solve it by contacting a specialist. Because the problem is complex and systemic. All your vivid emotions were tied to a certain role. Now you don't want to play that role. The whole structure that brought brightness to your life has fallen apart. Now you need to create a new one.
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Don't look back at others. Your life is just your life.
You get your experience.
You sought mutual love, found it, and what? Frustration? Or maybe it wasn't love at all? You know, all relationships are unique, different from each other. Therefore, the conclusion that you have already received everything is fundamentally wrong.
Most likely, you are tired from running around looking for the ” perfect relationship.” Take a break. Devote your time now to yourself and your own interests. The meaning of life is not only in finding your soulmate. Life is amazing and multifaceted. Find something you like to do and don't think about anything else. And love will find you by itself.
What you describe is similar to simultaneously seeking out intimacy and avoiding intimacy.
Based on the symptoms described, I assume that you have some kind of repressed trauma that you don't even remember. Therefore, at the second meeting, you are exhausted and do not want anything. There is something where your resource goes, it goes at this moment to build some kind of protection against the situation.
Working with the unconscious will help here.
In general, the lack of a sense of falling in love is not a bad thing in itself. Not everyone in a row to fall in love with the same. Yes, and to meet your own person is a great luck, few people manage it the first time.
But this particular case looks to be running. Apparently otshivaniya affected. The feeling that you are somehow subconsciously taking revenge on the girls for them. There's nothing fun about it. A shrink would be nice