4 Answers

  1. The situation you described is very similar to fear. It is likely that you have already had an experience when circumstances in a similar situation turned out badly for you.

    For example: “the child is sitting and calmly playing with toys, a passing parent will make a comment that the toys are scattered and they need to be collected immediately. And in general, you should already go to bed!”

    Such cases with children are not uncommon.

    In the child's mind, it can be registered that if everything is calm, then soon they will definitely come and say that everything is bad. There are several possible developmental scenarios in adulthood:

    • As in the case you described, gratuitous anxiety when everything is fine

    • avoiding a calm state of mind

    • repeating this to your children

    And other options that appear “when everything is fine”.

    If you yourself do not see the reasons for your anxiety, it is best to contact a psychologist to jointly search for and work out this condition.

    All the best to you.

  2. Perhaps when you write ” without much disappointment, “you mean”good.” And if, against this background, the idea comes up that everything can't be good (everything is bad, I just don't notice it), then this feeling can be called anxiety (everything can't be good, everything will definitely go bad).

    If this is the case, then the speech is about your deep attitudes, which may sound like “everything can never be good”, “if you laugh a lot, then you will cry a lot”, “do not relax, be in good shape, be prepared for the bad”. And this is already about an anxious or depressive way of thinking.

    You can work with your deep-seated attitudes using the method of counterarguments, challenge them, and look for evidence to the contrary.

  3. The first thing that comes to mind when trying to analyze this question is the recommendation to check your automatic thoughts at the moments when you feel it (or just before).

    Aaron Beck, author of cognitive behavioral therapy, postulated three things:

    People have so-called automatic thoughts, i.e. those that appear as if on their own, without volitional effort, without trying to “think in this direction”. For example, as I write this text, I have two thoughts: the first is that how best to formulate an answer is not automatic, I make some conscious effort to think about it; the second is that I need to check whether I turned off the stove in the kitchen, which is automatic: I don't need it now, I didn't do anything to make it appear, but it slipped through.

    Some of these thoughts are “negative”, i.e. those that carry negative emotions. In general, CBT pays great attention to the influence of thoughts on the emotional sphere (and the described feeling is most likely related to it).

    A significant part of negative automatic thoughts contains cognitive distortions — errors of thinking that do not allow us to perceive reality with an open mind.

    These three postulates lead to an interesting corollary: a significant part of emotional / psychological difficulties is caused by the fact that we are at the mercy of our own cognitive distortions. Accordingly, CBT offers a method of dealing with these conditions, which is to::

    Learn to track your automatic thoughts;

    Learn to distinguish neutral automatic thoughts from negative ones;

    – Learn to find cognitive distortions in automatic negative thoughts and eliminate them (cognitive distortions), approaching realistic thinking.

    Actually, the main idea of the answer to the question “What should I do?” is outlined above. You can check the details with a cognitive behavioral therapist (if you have one) or in one of the self-help books based on CBT methodology (I would be so bold as to recommend my article on this topic).


    1. Aaron Beck, “Cognitive Psychotherapy for Depression”

    2. Judith Beck, ” Cognitive Therapy. Complete guide”.

  4. I believe that there is no point in even thinking about this “I don't notice”, but if you do, then at this moment you should relax and remember the present tense, that you are here and now and take a breath and slowly exhale!!! It didn't work out the first time, repeat it, etc. it will still work out sooner or later!!! Such thoughts as you have arise from past events formed in balast on a material level!!! Think about your rich inner world, how much love, joy, prosperity you have there, and then everything will fall into place!!! Good luck!!! Live easily!!!

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