Why don't you want anything? Everything feels like a burden, like life has to be lived. I'm only 20. Emptiness and dissatisfaction with yourself.
I don't know what to change. I don't have the strength.
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I am deeply convinced that every person comes to this world with some purpose or mission. But not everyone knows or wants to know which one. We live as we have to, especially in our younger years. Later, in many ways, you have to repent, but it's too late, the time is over. Nevertheless, it is never too late for a person to look inside himself, to try to find out his purpose. I think that it is easier for Christians, Orthodox Christians, who have a good confessor to do this. The Apostle Paul says that the goal of a Christian is to know God's will:
Perhaps it was easier for the first Christians to do this, because there were people with spiritual gifts that are very rare now:
Such people still exist today, they do not advertise themselves, perhaps they live in Orthodox monasteries, perhaps even in the world. I do not urge you to rush to look for visionary elders, but I only say that such a phenomenon exists. It is possible to know your purpose and it is possible to know what you need to strive for in life and what your happiness will consist of.
The question is serious – but it is impossible to find the answer without knowing you and about you.
Your condition is painful, and you are right to seek help. But if you had a heart, head, leg, or arm problem and just as briefly consulted a cardiologist, neurologist, or surgeon, you would get a uniform response:
— Come to the reception!
And your soul is treated by a Heavenly Doctor, and is waiting for you at the “reception”.
A person lives as long as someone needs him. Those who somehow depend on him, a person. If there are no such addicts, then yes, life is very difficult and meaningless. If there is absolutely no way, get a dog, or a cat. You know, somewhere recently I saw wonderful lines: “…and she will definitely live up to a hundred years, because there is no one to leave the cat with…” But in general, everyone goes through this when you suddenly find yourself alone. And there is also one way out – most people get dependent husbands, wives, children, and friends… A minority turns on itself, which is also a way out. Care for and cherish, why not. In short, do not worry for a long time, everything passes.
Greetings. You just haven't found your destination. Plus, against the background of the “happiness and joy” of others, smart and developed people do not think that this is something grandiose, rather, on the contrary. I realized this at the age of 16 and was very worried. I had everything. Money, looks, boyfriend. But there was no happiness, because earthly everyday life and joy in the form of “delicious food” and “having sex” will not please a TRUE person ! So if you have the same problem, please contact me , I have a way out of this Groundhog Day.
Leo Tolstoy wrote in his book “Confessions” that he actually experienced something similar:
“My life has stopped. I could breathe, eat, drink, sleep, and I couldn't help but breathe, eat, drink, and sleep; but there was no life, because there were no desires that I found reasonable to satisfy.
If a sorceress came and asked me to grant my wishes, I wouldn't know what to say.
It was as if I had lived and lived, walked and walked, and had come to a precipice and clearly seen that there was nothing ahead but destruction. And you can't stop, and you can't go back, and you can't close your eyes without seeing that there is nothing ahead but the deception of life and happiness and real suffering and real death-total annihilation.
I was sick of life – some irresistible force was drawing me to get rid of it somehow. It's not like I wanted to kill myself. The force that drew me away from life was stronger, fuller, than the general desire. It was a force similar to the previous yearning for life, only in reverse. I tried my best to get away from life. The thought of suicide came to me as naturally as thoughts of improving my life had come before. This idea was so tempting that I had to use stratagems against myself, so as not to put it into execution too hastily. I didn't want to rush it just because I wanted to use all my effort to unravel it! If I don't unravel it, I'll always make it, I told myself. It was then that I, a happy man, took out of my room, where I was alone every evening, undressing, a shoelace so as not to hang myself from the crossbar between the cabinets, and stopped going hunting with a gun, so as not to be tempted by too easy a way to get rid of life. I didn't know what I wanted: I was afraid of life, longed to get away from it, and yet hoped for something else from it.”
And so, he goes on to describe his attempts to find a way out of this vicious circle and his salvation, which came through reading the Gospel, which abruptly and radically changed his life and attitude to it – he wanted to live.
Tolstoy was convinced in his father's letter that ” Man does not live by bread alone, but by every Word from the mouth of God.”