8 Answers

  1. Difficulties with forgiveness arise from a misunderstanding of the word “forgive”.

    For many, “forgive”means” forget ” the wrong done to you, which is stupid.

    Moreover, I will say that forgiveness is not a goal, but a result that occurs as a result of certain actions in the mind.

    Here are a few things that can help you forgive someone:

    You don't have to treat a person the same way you did before the “evil”was done to you.

    — You have the right to remember what a person has done and take precautions based on this, to protect your personal borders.

    —�You can try to put yourself in the shoes of the person who did what you called “evil” to look for another motive for his actions.

    This may sound strange, but you can literally ask yourself: under what circumstances would I do the same?

    This doesn't mean that you should do it now, or you would, but this change in perspective helps reduce the intensity of emotions, which doesn't stop you from remembering what you did and preparing for similar situations in the future.

  2. Forgive evil and resume communication with the person who did you harm, do not confuse these two concepts!!! In the first case, you need to stop wishing the offender evil, stop cooking in this mess,anger, indignation, demanding and calling for revenge, mentally leading this person to all possible earthly punishments,and quite another after the person has done meanness, while calling you his friend. And wat after a while, he came running to you on his knees and you are ready to forgive,he is a friend!!! In the first case, just let go of the situation that haunts you; meditate, go to clubs and discos, no matter how old you are, go to church, thank our Father ,for bread, for the sun, for the air,!!!

  3. Forgiveness is not a goal, it is the result of a correct assessment of the situation, which is possible only if you understand the difference between forgive and forget.
    Danger (and evil is always something that we consider a danger to ourselves, no matter what form it takes) should always be remembered. Only fools think otherwise. So you need to remember. Then it's a matter of technique, because when we are ready to admit it, complete stupidity is always our own responsibility, and we feel such things. And the claims to the abuser disappear by themselves. So comes forgiveness. But not everyone is capable of admitting that they are stupid, that's right. Here you need strength, an inner core.

  4. Forgive evil and resume communication with the person who did you harm, do not confuse these two concepts!!! In the first case, you need to stop wishing the offender evil, stop cooking in this mess,anger, indignation, demanding and calling for revenge, mentally leading this person to all possible earthly punishments,and quite another after the person has done meanness, while calling you his friend. And wat after a while, he came running to you on his knees and you are ready to forgive, auger

  5. To forgive means to excuse the abuser, to stop feeling resentment for the offense inflicted on him and no longer consider that he should somehow redeem himself. To forgive, however, does not mean to condone evil, belittle it, or pretend that nothing has happened. Rather, forgiveness implies a conscious decision based on the desire to establish peace and build or maintain a good relationship with the person. So, if this is a conscious decision, then you must first clearly understand why to forgive. First, we benefit ourselves. Namely, if we do not forgive, then we accumulate negative thoughts and emotions. This means that we are hurting ourselves. We may have trouble sleeping, become depressed or apathetic, stop enjoying life, and see others only as enemies. We may lose other friends, too. The most interesting thing is that the person who offended us may not even know it. It turns out that he feels good, and we feel bad. You can say that holding a grudge is like hitting yourself, expecting someone else to get hurt. It is not in our power to control words and misdeeds, but it is in our power to control how we respond to them.

    To forgive a person, you need to try to understand them. The Bible says about this: “Prudence (understanding) makes a man slow to anger, and it is his glory to be lenient in trespasses”(Lament of Solomon, chapter 19, verse 11). That is, you need to try to understand why he did this. Maybe he was under the influence of stress, fatigue, or frustration. Or maybe it's because of his upbringing or environment.

    Then you can remember that we also often do something wrong. And we would very much like to be forgiven for this. This is also the point of the Bible: “In all things whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, so do ye also unto them “(Matthew 7: 12). And in addition, you can try to see in the offender not only the bad, but also the good. For example, if this is a life partner, then what good has he done and is doing for the family? What attracted me to him when we decided to get married. What good qualities it has. And finally, what benefits it will bring to your relationship. For example: if you do not forgive and remember insults and arrange a showdown about this, then most likely this will encourage the marriage partner to do the same. In the end, there will be no winner in this battle. And it may even end in divorce. Moreover, the inability to forgive has a very negative impact on children, if any. They learn this from their parents, and in fact we encourage them to do the same in their lives when they grow up.

    So: It is not in our power to control the words and actions of others, but in our power to control how we react to them.

  6. Because of our imperfections, we may occasionally annoy or offend others,and they may offend us. In the prayer”Our Father”, which many people often say, there are such words: “And forgive us our trespasses,as we also forgive those who trespass against us…For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses. (Matthew 6: 12,14,15) This is how Jesus made it very clear that God will only forgive us if we are willing to forgive ourselves. This commandment will help us learn to forgive others.

  7. Forgiveness is a condition in which, first of all, words should be adequately understood. So it turns out that first you need to understand who you are ; what does the word forgive mean , you need to understand who you are going to forgive, why, whether he realized that he had done evil and repented …after you answer these questions correctly, you can do the right thing. Here in the topic, many people call the one who did evil to you, a person. In fact, this is a misconception , and a dangerous one at that. Man is the Holy Spirit, who inspires the hearts and minds of people – men and women – to do righteous, just and merciful deeds

    And the one who has done evil should be called a villain. in accordance with the act . The evil itself should not be forgiven, it should be properly understood and adequately reacted to. The word evil denotes a destructive, calamitous action or phenomenon… The one who did evil, after you found out exactly who did it, you can try to find out the reason why he suddenly did it. It may turn out that this subject has an evil nature, his soul is “black” and he is not going to change for the better, he is not going to repent of what he has done. You can't 100% forgive someone who didn't ask for forgiveness, didn't repent… it will be enough for him that his essence is correctly understood and not rewarded for evil – evil, but justly.

  8. To forgive evil is given to someone, but not to someone. It all depends on the person, on their personal experience. Some people start to understand some things as they get older, but others don't. Some people have experienced such a large volume of events that they have already learned how to deal with betrayal or evil, and how to be philosophical about these topics. Someone will never understand this and will continue to take revenge, respond to evil with evil. It all depends on the character of the person. You can't tell here: “Do this, and it will be the right thing to do.” Everyone has their own path and their own limits of development.

    For me personally, everything is different. I can sometimes forgive some things, but some things are extremely difficult for me to put up with. You understand in principle that you need to forgive, do not think about it, do not clog your head, but sometimes it doesn't work out because you are angry at some injustice of what is happening. And because you can't influence it in any way, to correct this situation, you start to get angry. This is normal anger, I have nothing against such anger. This is a normal desire to somehow respond to the situation, to the state that you can't change. That's why such anger happens, and it's normal. And there is another anger, when you are angry at some trifles, trifles that, in fact, do not concern you in any way and do not affect you in any way. Here you just need to react more or less calmly to what is happening.

    Everything comes from personal experience. Until we go through something ourselves, feel it, we can come across the same thing ten or twenty times and only then understand. It seems to me that this depends on the person himself, on his path and vector of development: how it moves, where it goes; whether it stands still, or it develops, is interested in something. It all depends on the brain: how inquisitive it is, your brain. If you are interested in something, you are curious, if you go to the search engine yourself and search for something, then you will most likely be fine. If you need to poke, talk and show, guide you-then something somewhere you will not be very good.

    Probably, based on these criteria, you can continue to think that you have a good or bad life, good wins or evil.

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