6 Answers

  1. It depends on your personal classification. You can attribute addiction to a type of love, and then it will be so for you. A single “scientific type”, accepted by all as a standard, definition of love simply does not exist.

    For me – but precisely for me, it is not “really” – the difference is that there is a separateness in love.

    1. “I want it, but I don't need it.”�

    2. I know my own separateness, I own it, I have boundaries-I remember this, and I can define and defend them in our relations; and I respect your boundaries. I can merge into one, and I can be separate. I am, I am something other than”We”.

    And then every day I-Choose You. You are my love.�

    In dependence, there is no will, no choice. – And for some, this is just the main criterion …love. Well, I wrote from the very beginning that I was answering your question-what do I think?

  2. If you ask about comparing these two states, then you are talking about love in material terms, that is, “I love you, and you wash my socks for me, or I love you, but I will love you even more in a fur coat” (socks and a fur coat are just frequently used stereotypes).

    Love is not a material “thing”, it is a Feeling.

    However, our minds are so misorganized that most People control their feelings with the mind, unfortunately, but this is the case.

    Love is the only Feeling that is not controlled by the mind, if you do not call something else Love.

    This, by the way, is a very good criterion for evaluating whether it is Love or not.

  3. Not exactly, it's still 2 different feelings. It's just that sometimes love turns into addiction, but love itself doesn't go anywhere. Relationships become unhealthy when there is an addiction in addition to love.

    I had it like this. We saw each other every day, constantly together, and it got to the point where I didn't want to go anywhere without him. I thought that I just loved him so much, but after the breakup, I realized that it was some kind of unhealthy story. It's just that the young man attached me to him quite strongly. But I was in love and didn't notice that I didn't want to go out without him. I couldn't imagine myself without it at all. I forgot about my friends, about everyone around me. I did everything he told me, and when the threat of separation came, I was ready for any changes in myself, just to continue the relationship.�

    And when we broke up… Oh, the horror. It's like I was just born. I forgot what it means to go to the store alone, to go somewhere alone, to do something alone. I felt like a helpless kitten that everyone had forgotten about. I realized that I had forgotten how to live, and the realization of this was terrible. I fell into a kind of apathy. I constantly thought only about him, lost interest in life, I didn't want anything at all, just that he was next to me.�

    It took me half a year to recover, and it was only after that that I realized how dependent I was on him. From his presence in my life. (And no, I'm not talking about the material side of the issue, I always paid for it and everywhere).�

    Relationships should be easy, without dependencies and tensions. It's just that 2 people love each other, meet or live together, but they don't try to attach themselves to each other. You need to give your partner time for yourself, not to interfere in your personal space (my MC then had access to all my social networks, he controlled everything I do, what I eat, who I communicate with). You need to give your partner more freedom and respect their personal space, and then everything will be fine.

  4. This is usually mixed. Addiction is present in any normal love. And if love breaks down, it's always unbearably painful.�

    Pure addiction is when a person doesn't like you at all, and you do. I like the Orthodox criterion here – in Orthodoxy, divorce is prohibited except in cases of infidelity. That is, God himself recognized that a person has the right to no longer love a spouse if the spouse sleeps with someone else.�

    So much for the definition of addiction-love – if you painfully “love” someone who regularly sleeps with someone else and does not intend to give it up for you, then this is not love, but addiction. If you just periodically have a hard time and feel bad with a partner who is loyal to you, then this is not an addiction, but still a difficult love. True, this applies to people in marriage. Before marriage, true love, in my opinion, can not be. Just falling in love. And, if you are tormented by a relationship with someone you are not married to, then you can safely recognize it as an addiction and break up.

  5. Of course, you can get mixed up if you don't know how one differs from the other.
    It's very simple. In a loving relationship, you are happy and enjoy yourself.
    In dependent relationships, you suffer, complain, consider yourself a victim, but despite this, you continue to stay in them (sometimes because you think this is the same love).

  6. Addiction is not always love, as we wrote above – these are two different feelings. You can get used to a person, stick to him and his resources like a leech, consider it your property-this is not love at all. If you see that you have become dependent on someone, just start slowly reducing your communication time. This is difficult, but vital.

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