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Most of my clients changed after undergoing psychotherapy. Friends and acquaintances changed after strong shocks or periods of happiness.
My cousin lost both of his parents in a car accident at age 13 (6 years ago). Up to this point, he was an open and life-loving person, easily found a common language with absolutely anyone, but after the death of his parents, it was difficult to recognize him. My father (his uncle), at his urgent request (almost a demand), organized a relocation to another city with all the ensuing consequences in terms of changing society. My brother kept to himself, made almost no new friends, there were only 3-4 people left with whom he kept in touch, including me, but leads a closed lifestyle, refuses to live with anyone. It would have been fine, but a year later his best friend committed suicide, and at the end of the 11th grade, he broke up with a girl and it got even worse, if that word applies here. As far as I know from his psychiator, he wanted to kill himself more than once and has severe problems with socialization. I think that if not for a series of demotivating events, my brother would have remained a sociable and positive person. So in my experience, yes, people can change a lot.
Do people change radically? I have the courage to say no. In his comment, DMITRII RIHTER mentions a case that took place with his friend. He claims that she changed after experiencing the rape. But is it really possible, even under such terrible stress, to change your character in the opposite way? Let's get this straight.�
I don't think her essence has changed one bit.�
I'll explain why. Essence, nature, soul, whatever, is a constant. Experience is a filter of the worldview, a kind of glasses; in her particular case, it is a shell, psychological protection until a certain point of recovery. Once it recovers from the shock, it will no longer be what it is not.�
And if you still believe in the determinism of everything and everything, then a person does not have free will.�
Based on this, neither by his own will, nor by someone else's, a person can change his nature. (Hey, Ravel.)
If you have a different point of view, please write a reasoned answer in the comments, I will be very interested to read.
“People never change” is one of the dumbest established phrases (for some completely incomprehensible reason) that I have ever heard. They change, they really do. And not only in appearance, but also in character. And most often this happens after any really heavy emotional shocks. Then everything depends on the circumstances, the person, the severity of the shock and other small factors, and the person changes radically, his life, character and worldviews can be divided into “before”and ” after”.�
I myself, for example, was much more open and sociable at school until ~9th grade, liked to fool around somehow, tried to joke around, etc., but everything changed when the fire nation.I started the war when I started preparing for exams, tutors, pressure from teachers, parents, there was an incredible amount of homework and everything that follows. Because of all this, I became more withdrawn. By the 11th grade, this doubled, I completely stopped looking after myself, photos from the 11th grade and photos from today are two completely different people. And now I'm ashamed of my past self. But when I went to university and talked to open, funny people, I realized that it was cool to communicate, and I tried to somehow get rid of my fear of communication. I began to slowly monitor myself, and everything somehow began to improve by itself.�
There are several people I know who have literally changed their lives almost 100%. I don't know the details, but I do know that a friend I talked to a few years ago had something really bad happen. She, from a cheerful, joking, open and cheerful person, has very much withdrawn into herself. Everything has changed: her appearance, clothing, preferences in music and movies, attitude to life, manner of conversation, some phrases that she constantly said, disappeared. She stopped joking in any way. Generally. And began to treat everything much more pofigistichno than before. I began to communicate with my mother in a completely different, more “cold” way. And then at some point I just packed up my things and moved to St. Petersburg with some funds (again, I don't know the details), and lives alone, found other people, broke off contacts with many of them. I literally started my life from scratch. It's like she's been replaced.�
Such are the cases.
Yes, if you have moved to another city. There are different rules and you will be forced to change. It's just that for some people it's less painful than for others.
The peculiarities of the Russian language are such that if it were not for the second, clarifying question, then the first question could be understood in a different way: are people capable of changing, but not as individuals, but in general, in aggregate, as a society?
History shows that “dramatically” changing society only confirms that people do not change. Take, for example, the Germans of the 20th century: they changed several times in the first half of the century, although the last time they had to do it under duress. But in fact, this only means that any nation in such conditions will work like a weather vane-it will turn to where the wind blows, and this is if you do not apply tougher epithets.
Unfortunately, we must state that the Russian, or, if you prefer, the Russian people, since not only Russians are involved in this, are now doing the same thing (more precisely, for several years already): they are simply slipping into fascism. Although it is not known whether we will slide completely, since the fuse seems to be fading – the economic situation is not conducive.
If we talk, so to speak, closer to specific individuals from society, then it should be noted that there is also not much progress here: take Krylov's fables, or, even further, Aesop – they are not outdated. You can take Shakespeare or Pushkin – they are eternal, and all other literature confirms it, and in fact films, and especially TV shows: you can compare Russian with Mexican or even with Indian cinema. People's problems are eternal: love, betrayal, loyalty, honor, greed, etc., etc. We're all just as consumed with passion as a character in one of my favorite movies said, even though we're not from the Kin-Dza-Dza galaxy.
From a scientific point of view, this can probably also be explained: our psychology is largely due to evolution, so evolutionary psychology is now considered as a separate science. Changes in human psychology stupidly do not keep up with technological progress, so changing the world around you, the person himself does not really change. In fact, of course, everything changes, but we just don't notice very slow processes.
And specific people, of course, change and not so infrequently. Moreover, a person who does not change, and even prides himself on this “I always stand on my own”, to put it mildly, is a narrow-minded person, if not sick at all. A normal person changes due to changes in circumstances, and his views” change” also based on new experience and new information received by him.
But changes in this issue apparently mean serious, “cool” changes. Well, here's the simplest answer before your eyes: look at the most famous “journalists” from federal channels and, if you don't remember, then look for information about what they were like at least 15 years ago – many of them have undergone simply monstrous metamorphoses!
Well, of all the people I know, the most dramatic change happened to one guy who was a year older than me: from a downtrodden, resentful creature, he suddenly turned into a kid over the summer who won't let anyone down. Moreover, he did not become a jock, etc. over the summer – this is purely based on the nature of the change. It's a pity that it didn't add much to his intelligence, but it's still a big change.
�Sometimes you really need an event for changes: after the death of a drinking buddy, one of my uncles, already quite seriously drunk, stopped drinking (more precisely, drinking), вернулся returned to his wife, who� left him 10 years earlier and left (although they were never divorced). But this is probably the only case of drastic drastic improvements in a person that I can remember. Unfortunately, there are a lot of slow deterioration.
,When�I�was�eighteen�years,�my�father�was�fool-fool. Now�I�forty, and I�noticed�that�for�past�time�man�great�smarter…”
Mark Twain. � � � � � � � � � � � � � � �
Success�to all!
This is probably some very pleasant myth for human thinking-a metamorphosis of personality. People all over the world admire when someone physically or psychologically through some unreal thorns, as it were, “re-educates”himself. But this is a myth, my friends. Any of our changes, even the most significant ones , are part of us. All this was originally included in our program. Will an oak tree cease to be an oak by shedding its leaves? How many years does an oak have to live to become a maple? No matter how much the wind blows the oak, no matter how many leaves fall, will it cease to be an oak after all? We are who we are. From the first day to the final. And everything that happens to us is part of our path and it is not correct to say that any events can affect our character. If every 4 months our skin is completely regenerated and this is not considered a metamorphosis, then what is the change in some tastes and preferences compared to this? )))
I have a friend Vitek, he eats pasta with his hands. I somehow come to visit him, he tells me they say make yourself at home, and I che? I took my pants off and sat down at the computer.
Ah he vprintsypi, too, so made, psoideli we for computer, he says “you will eat”, I say “I will”. Let's go to the kitchen. There he takes a pot and puts the pasta on his hand, then on mine, and I say, “Uh, you're not hygienic,” and he kind of pours it back out and is like, “well, put it on with your hand, prevereda.”
Well, we ate together, went further zakomp. We danced a little, and he said to me, “Are you going to eat?” I say yes. And there were fried potatoes, I think ” voot ter know how to do that.” And I put on the fried potatoes with my hand. Well, Vitek says to me, ” Well, you and the savage PUT FRIED KARTORSHKA WITH a FORK!”
Well, you see. How I had to change coordinates in 1 day. Well, finally I somehow lost 15 kg on a protein diet for 3 months. But this is a different story, nutrition programs and online courses on weight gain and burning, online in my personal messages. For a fee
Perhaps yes, and it depends on many factors!�
Here is an example. I have a friend who has always been unpleasant to put it mildly, just an envious and vile person, few people loved her, and it would seem that nothing will change such a person, but it so happened that she had a misfortune in her family – her father died! And gradually, the person began to change beyond recognition, and all from the fact that she began to attend church…Now she is the sweetest creature, has many friends, loves children very much, is a very positive and kind person.
And the wildest thing for me, she became very devout, a participant in religious gatherings, all the time rattles about God, faith, quotes the Bible, and talks about how beautiful the world is and the people around it, well, such a hippie a little! There was nothing left of the old man! I think this is how a person ran away from problems into the world of illusions.