20 Answers

  1. This effect can be observed, and in mystics it is 0%. Quite observable material processes.

    The fact is that someone's belief that they are a worthless loser-if you really believe in them on a permanent basis, and not just have them as a random temporary thought – inevitably has an impact on the emotional (i.e., objective physiological parameters) state and also on behavior. A person with a similar image of himself – it will be quite noticeable to broadcast it to others: through posture, posture, tone of voice, gestures and much more.

    In this connection, these people around them, even without realizing it at all, will most often form an appropriate attitude in response to what is observed. It's also because humans are inevitably social, collective creatures, and they've been developing nonverbal ways of communicating for quite some time.

    Thus, all such interpersonally significant things are both naturally and culturally “stitched” in us – due to which the same confidence or uncertainty, for example, is somehow read. Those who are aware of this are in a better position, but unconsciously it affects everyone.

  2. Yes, this is true in a sense. People feel if a person does not respect himself, if in his actions, movements, words and looks there is self-doubt and a desire to present himself in an unfavorable light. If a person is not on his own side and “does not play” for himself, because he does not believe in himself, then why should someone else voluntarily believe in him?

    Rather, people will pass by because they don't have time for it, and they want to get on with their lives – which is fair.

  3. Others may actually think so, but not because they feel your attitude towards them, but because you behave in accordance with your beliefs and ideas about yourself, and people judge you by your actions.

    If you are unconsciously convinced that you are a failure and can't do anything, then this can affect the quality of your life, your habits, your relationships with people, your earnings, your success in all spheres of life, etc.

    People will perceive exactly these final consequences of your low self-esteem and draw conclusions about you based on them. Therefore, your feeling that you are a failure and people's feeling that you are a failure come from different premises.

    The problem is that when others begin to perceive you as a failure, your subconscious mind, which already contained the idea that you are a failure, takes this as confirmation of the correctness of your belief, which further forces it.

    As a result, you become even more driven and behave like a loser, and people react more sharply to your manifestations.

    It's a vicious circle. And you think that people feel how you feel about yourself, although this is not the case.

    By the way, another point – there are a lot of relatively successful people who, deep down, consider themselves losers. How do you explain the generally positive attitude of others towards these people?

    The funny thing is that in their case, their belief in their own worthlessness makes them plow to escape from this feeling, and so that others do not see it. And the output is the actions of a successful person, by which a person is already judged, and not by his sense of self.

    I wish you success and all the best in life without any hard feelings!

    Alexander

  4. Let me clarify: why a loser? Because there is no way to change iPhones every month and drive a girl to McDonald's every day? Or is it something else? What you see around you is a MIRROR. I sent despondency to the world around me, and despondency came in response. Did you send joy and positivity to the world around you? In response, they returned. You need to live enjoying every second of being, the buttons under your fingers on your computer or touch screen on your phone, the smell of autumn leaves, the taste of ice cream, the freshness of the autumn wind… You need to smile at others, carry a positive message. Ancient wisdom in a children's cartoon: “whatever you call a yacht, it will float.” You can not call and consider yourself a failure, you need to be grateful for what you already have.

  5. Yes, but that's not what people feel. People feel that you are trying to get out of the swamp to the top, like a kitten who has fallen into a milk crate with its paws until it knocks the milk into butter and gets out and escapes. Or you have resigned yourself to lying quietly whining, feeling sorry for yourself, getting sado-maso pleasure from your inflamed wounds and the smell of rot from sticking out splinters.

    People will still push you and call you to get up and start doing something. With your life. And maybe someone else will take pity on you and put you on his cart and will carry and feed-courting until the very end. But he will still be poor-an unhappy loser.

  6. Every person eats and drinks, food is processed in his body. As a result, each of us generates energy that is radiated to the environment. Scientists have long measured the power of this radiation in the vibration ranges available to them. It turned out that each of us is a generator with a capacity of 1-3 kW. (approximately like an iron). When you get under the blanket, it becomes warm after a few minutes – it is you who heated the space with your radiation.

    And these radiations of yours carry information about your thoughts and emotions. These vibrations of yours are picked up by other people, and they understand what you are. That is, to your question ” … will others think that way?” you can safely answer “yes”, this is exactly the case.

    Therefore, you need to change your thoughts and beliefs about yourself to more positive ones. And your radiation spectrum will change.

    You can change your beliefs about yourself in two steps on the Working Page 7. Improving your site's self-esteem http://www.sviyash.ru

    Of course, this is not a pill to swallow or sweet affirmations to read, you will have to work for a couple of months for an hour a day approximately. But as a result, you can become a confident person who strictly defends your interests if necessary.

    Go to the site, read, watch videos, and change yourself. And the vibrations of your body will become very different.

  7. So it is, this is the law of psychology. People, especially women, quickly “read” the psychological state by a number of external signs.�

    Almost all “professional” losers quite consciously look and behave exactly like losers. So they “put pressure on pity”, hoping that everyone will sympathize with them, demand less, help more. “Don't offend me, take pity, see how unhappy I am!” In fact, they only scare people away: they have a lot of their own problems to sort out other people's problems from some hangover. All the more so if you can see that this is exactly what a person needs, he is in his comfort zone.

  8. well, your attitude towards yourself is noticeable by your behavior, so it is unlikely that a stranger who sees how you always talk uncertainly ,and in principle behave like a snot, will want to waste himself in order to establish some kind of relationship with you.

  9. It all depends on what you do and how you show it. You can think to yourself what you want, but everyone will only see what you are doing. People who don't know you well, see you for the first time, will look only at what is outside.

    (Personally, I have it this way) I can burn inside with shame, fear and lack of understanding of what to do and how to respond, but at the same time I will be calm outwardly, make a seemingly intelligent face))

    If you consider yourself a failure, then this only adds to the likelihood that you will not be able to complete some goal/work and will drive yourself even harder.

    It is quite another matter if we are talking about a person who knows you and sees you when you hide sadness behind a smile, tears are visible behind joyful eyes…

    Although everything also depends on the person

  10. People around you, of course, see and feel how you feel about yourself. They notice and feel how you treat them. You get a mirror image of your attitude.

  11. Yes, it can be determined, even if you outwardly try to flaunt!

    Our body is a thin, complex system, but also plastic. We may not realize it, but our thoughts, beliefs, and moods affect our appearance.

    When a person has everything in order, he radiates well-being and contentment with life: he has a lively look, a sparkle in his eyes; he walks briskly; he reacts adequately to humor and is ready to joke himself; he notices good moments in life; rudeness and rudeness towards himself does not take to heart; he is ready for changes, etc. The hormonal background of a person corresponds to victory. Others unconsciously read this and conclude that the person, in general, everything is OK.

    In contrast, when a person is haunted by failures, and despondency is his main feature, both appearance and hormonal background will correspond to the defeat. Others catch the “smell of a loser” and draw appropriate conclusions.

    We need to think correctly, follow the train of thought, and try to find positive moments in life. So it is easier and more pleasant, even if life is not generous with gifts. Positive thoughts shape your attitude to life. And you begin to perceive failures as lessons and tasks that need and can be solved, and decisions are made easier. The attitude of others will also change.

  12. Yes, it is.

    Cousin of Ch. Darwin, Sir Francis Dalton, known for his research in criminology, geography and psychology (the creator of the first psychological tests) once conducted an interesting experiment on this topic, which in the history of psychology, eventually became known as”Sir Galton's Walk”.

    The essence of this experience was that Dalton went for a walk in London, having previously convinced himself that he was a very disgusting person who was hated by all of London. And he was unpleasantly impressed with the results. During the walk, he encountered a very specific attitude of the people who met him on the way. Passers-by turned away from him, some let out curses after him, At one point, he received a poke from a longshoreman, and when he was kicked painfully by a horse, witnesses of this incident began to defend the horse, without any sympathy for himself.

    Any of us who devote time to the topic of our own self-regulation and are somehow already adept at self-regulation can repeat this experience, as well as the opposite.

  13. Not true, or rather, not quite true. If you constantly tell people that you are a failure, it certainly affects them in some way.�

    But how is another matter. People will always see in you what is relevant to them and what they want. Perhaps they will admire your modesty. Maybe they will despise your sensitivity. Maybe they'll worship self-criticism. Very much depends on people.

    If you don't tell people about how you perceive yourself, then it's not a fact that they know about it. People can read other people's emotions, but not always.

    What do you think is that you're a loser?

  14. Q: are you really sure about this, or is this just a style of communication and forcing praise to say, “umm, I'm such a loser…” to hear the answer “yes, you're cool, look how much you've done”? There are different situations, but often yes, what is inside becomes visible to others as well)

  15. the most frequently repeated phrase my mother had when we lived together was “you can't do this” or “you're not suitable for this, you need to be beautiful there”, like in clothes that she specially bought a few sizes larger, I have to be beautiful. it's so fucked up when you're being led… Anything you don't say to her starts with “you can't do this, I know you.”

    This is how children are programmed from childhood.

    It became clear to me that her attitude to me and to the issue of education has nothing to do with me personally. It was the kind of ballast that you put in the minds of “new people” who have to go through life with their noses in the air and their self-esteem high. And naturally, there was nothing to do but to start not thinking about yourself what was embedded in you.

    So as for the opinion of others, their opinion is clearly formed from what they see around me. I am surrounded by grace, good mood, interest, everything lives around me, I live inside and have a great dinner with myself. That's what they see and think.

    And indeed, some of them often fuck up, admitting that they thought you alone could not do anything at all, like you will be a zombie alone in this world.

    P.S. The dick is there )

  16. Don't exaggerate or dramatize. Most people don't even feel anything from this opera at all. Take a closer look – everyone is fixated on themselves. You only interest someone for a very short time, so that they can only find some sign that they are superior to you. Others do not think about such matters at all, they are concerned solely with themselves. Here is a manifestation of weakness, uncertainty-they will see. Because these qualities in others affect their own success or failure. And whether you love yourself or not – all deeply … Others will think that you are a failure not because they feel your attitude towards yourself, but because you have no money, bad clothes and a car. Humans are very primitive.

  17. “I knew one man,” I say, “another who didn't go to the madhouse,” I say. “Although I lived entirely by my imagination. — I smoke.” “He imagined that he was a failure, an honest man, but completely unlucky. We all felt sorry for him. As soon as he saved up a little money, the devaluation is on you. And so it is always and in everything. Tiles didn't fall off the roof if he didn't pass by. The fiction that you are a loser is one of the most popular, because it is convenient. Not a month went by without this man having something to complain about, not even a week, not even a day. Anyone who knew him more or less was afraid to ask: how are you? He wasn't actually complaining, he was just smiling at his amazing bad luck. It was true that something always happened to him that would pass the others by. Just bad luck, you can't say anything, in large and small. But he endured it very well, “I say, smoking,” until a miracle happened.

    I smoke and wait for the bartender, who is mostly occupied with glasses, to ask casually what kind of miracle it was.

    “It was a blow to him,” I say, ” a real blow when this man won a big sum. It was printed in the newspaper, so he couldn't deny it. When I met him on the street, he was pale, beside himself, and it wasn't his idea that he was a loser that made him doubt, but the lottery, and the whole world in general. There was no laughing matter, and he had to be comforted. Without success. He couldn't understand that he wasn't a loser, he couldn't understand it at all, and he was so upset that he actually lost his wallet on the way out of the bank. And I think it was better for him, ” I say, “or he would have had to invent a different self for himself, poor fellow, which is obviously more ruinous than losing a full wallet, he would have had to give up the whole story of his life, relive everything that happened to him again, and in a different way, because it would no longer fit his self.

    I drink.

    “His wife cheated on him soon after,” I say, ” I felt sorry for him, he was really a loser.

  18. This is true because there are mirror neurons in our brains. And we instantly read all the other person's mental baggage in the first 4 seconds of communication and determine whether it is our own or someone else's and how we will treat it.
    Our mental state determines our nonverbal behavior.
    Jordan Belfort's Straightline sales system is built on learning proper non-verbal communication.

  19. The main problem of any loser is an excessive fixation on their own problems, the belief that the whole world revolves around them alone and their problems. As well as the habit of denying yourself the right to success in advance. He is used to the fact that nothing works out, so he doesn't even believe that it will be any different, he almost always feels depressed, places people so that they all feel it, subconsciously fears conflict and a blow from the sly. When people see this behavior, they immediately feel-here it is an easy target, let's postebem it, have fun. In fact, the environment is equally cruel to both successful and unsuccessful people. The only difference is that some give up in a light calm, while others do not give up even when the storm begins and go to the end. If a person believes that a bad situation will happen, it is absolutely not a fact that it will happen. My grandmother, even when she was 53 years old, often shouted – I will have a heart attack! – But she has now reached the age of 91, she has good blood pressure and heart. But when a person does something like that in an animate environment, people react completely proportionally. When a person simply does not believe that he is attractive, he starts to launch his own image. He doesn't get a good haircut, he doesn't dress well, he walks and looks down. Why else, I'm not attractive by definition. Naturally, people notice this. Therefore, it is extremely important how each person feels about himself, from this the attitude towards him grows by itself.

  20. Yes, it's true. Moreover, people not only feel your attitude towards yourself, they clearly see it in your behavior, mood, and conversation. If a person is constantly making fun of himself, then other people will also make fun of him. If a person constantly complains about everything, people will avoid communicating with them. If a person has a limited range of interests, then they will find the same friends and acquaintances. So, the attitude of others to a person depends on him.

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