- Why did everyone start to hate the Russians if the U.S. did the same thing in Afghanistan, Iraq?
- What needs to be corrected in the management of Russia first?
- Why did Blaise Pascal become a religious man at the end of his life?
- How do I know if a guy likes you?
- When they say "one generation", how many do they mean?
The idea that we have long formed about a person
closes our eyes and stops our ears.
– Marcel Proust, “In search of Lost Time, part 2: Under the shadow of girls in Bloom”.
I don't believe that people don't change, nor do I believe that people change, and there is no contradiction here: I believe that people can change.
If people [necessarily] did not change, no one's life would ever meet with unfamiliar acquaintances — those whom we would have thought we knew well, but now we have found them completely different. Of course, it can be argued that if we have found something new in a person, we have found it only because we did not see it well in him before. But what can you say when a person has irretrievably lost something old in himself or voluntarily abandoned it?
If people [necessarily] changed, no one would ever encounter static, flat, superficial people who have remained unchanged for decades-invariably good or bad, good or evil, beautiful or ugly — in body or soul. Of course, it can be argued that if we do not see something new in a person, it is only because we have not yet seen it in him. But what if he himself shares our point of view and — with pride or sadness-admits his immutability?
I have met those who have not changed, as well as those who have become somewhat different or completely different, even beyond recognition, as I have had to be surprised to find what I did not see, and with bitterness to find that I saw what was not — both in others and in myself. And yet, despite some exclusivity of cases of generally recognized changes in a person, people can change, even if this does not happen to everyone.
Moreover, there are long-term studies showing an average ratio of 2: 3 of those who did not change significantly either in their own assessment or in the assessment of others, to those who, according to both estimates, did so, and, as a rule, the change showed its positive character. That is, more than half of people on average tend to become generally recognized as better.
Why do people change? — due to various circumstances, the common place of which is always the same. The key to change always lies in some kind of existential crisis, during which a person either understands that the world is not what it seemed to him, which means that his views were wrong, and they should be changed, as a result of which he changes himself; or understands that he is not what he seemed to himself, which means the same, and should do the same,
Some people fail after failure in their personal lives, finally realizing (if they are lucky) that all this time it was not their partners who did the wrong thing, but they themselves did something wrong. The same can be said for others who fail in entrepreneurship, employment, friendship, and political activities. The most picturesque example is, of course, love, whether kindred, friendly, or passionate, for a person or a cause,or devotion to an ideal. Alas, it is not possible for everyone to discover the cause at a critical moment and give rise to that regenerating existential crisis, from which a person comes out not just renewed, but different.
Of course, there are other kinds of circumstances that change people, such as age-related psychological changes, which have been confirmed by many scientific studies over the past century — and this might be the strongest argument in favor of the fact that people can change — but I understand that the question is asked in a different context, and I will not engage in substitution of concepts.
In addition, I ask you to pay attention that changes can be both for the better and for the worse, despite the high prevalence of the former, because from the same circumstance a person can draw different conclusions, and this does not always depend on the person himself, because extraneous circumstances can affect the choice — a person lives not in a vacuum, but in a movable time and space, Another question is why people tend to change for the better if they do. Perhaps the answer to this question may still be the same: a person does not live in a vacuum, and society has a guiding influence on the vector of his development, and therefore evaluates him in the future as the best in comparison with the previous one.
Do people always change beyond recognition? — not always. Often, a person changes one or two fundamental positions in himself, slightly rearranges priorities. It is extremely rare to completely scrap them. A person is a kind of own artist and acts in accordance with the artist in the visual arts: when the artist does not like something in the picture, he does not draw it again, but only makes corrective touches.
So, a person's ability to change brings us to two important conclusions:
First, if a person is changeable and fluid like a river — or at least can be-we cannot judge a person according to his actions, or at least draw far-reaching conclusions: what a person is today does not necessarily determine what he will be tomorrow, and his actions today may differ dramatically from those of the future.�
Secondly — and this conclusion is a rhetorical question — if people are flowing like rivers, and you can't enter the same river twice, can we even judge people?
UPD: I found a couple of articles about longitudinal studies of personality stability, which statistically reliably revealed personality instability throughout life in healthy people: from 14 to 77 years and from 16 to 66 years.
People can change, but not in all respects. Change / adjustment of views – easily, there are many examples of a radical change in ideology, religion, etc. Changes caused by medical indicators (a deaf or blind person is unlikely to remain as sociable and active) – easily. But a conscious change in character (from a broken – down to a pedant, from a shy one to a relaxed one) occurs much less often.
People change. It is enough to live long enough to look carefully and it becomes noticeable that everyone is changing. And you and everyone around you.�
It's just that people tend not to notice the changes at all.
Life around us is not the same as even 5 years ago, and people get stuck in their judgments for decades. And they themselves, changing, do not notice this either for themselves or for the surrounding reality.
I don't believe it! what are we, senseless puppets or something!? we have emotions, feelings! There is good and evil on earth, and it is all God! he has punished people like us, but he has created obstacles and difficulties for us to overcome! and so that God can see if we are good or not!? that's the meaning of life! this is to show and prove to God that you are a worthy person and just live for yourself, but at the same time be sure to help others! he rejoices and even cries with joy when he sees how we overcome obstacles, help others, etc.!!! this is much more than just being happy and praising (and also naturally envious, but this is already us) a person! understand at last! of course, a person changes at will, but if he is bad, then you can change him yourself! only here you have a desire to do this should be greater than the person's desire not to change! the bibles say that you don't need to purify the soul of another person, start with yourself, take care of it only for yourself, but the point is that you need to help others, this is what makes a person good! in fact, this is a riddle from God and I have solved it! if you want to become kind, then change the villains and make them kind, save their souls and everything, you are already so kind!) but still, it is absolutely necessary to repent, etc. – this is so to speak advice from holy people!
People change, and that's why I think so.
Part of our personality is the attitudes that came to us from our parents, from society, and so on. When we grow up, we can review these attitudes, and therefore we change ourselves.
Another part of our personality is the very “real me” that likes something and doesn't like something, wants one thing today and another tomorrow, is happy, offended, in short, lives – and it turns out that it also changes, grows and develops (and sometimes it doesn't 🙂
It is 100% impossible to change.
Let's assume that there was one type of character with corresponding actions and problems, and then there was another type that was directly proportional.
To change completely, first you need to understand for yourself why or for whom you are doing this, understanding is the first step, but not the most difficult.
Here I analyze exactly the inner part of a person, not even habits that, in principle, can be learned from everyone and get used to everything, but you need unrealistic willpower, but still it is possible, namely the essence inside us. Just the very thing that makes a person a person (no matter what, good, bad), a person is a person.
Take a psychopath who understands that he is a psycho and wants to be cured, his personality will change dramatically and perhaps if a person really strives, makes efforts, he will be able to change, but inside there will always be a part of the past that will pull him back and as soon as he breaks down and succumbs to temptation, all the work that a person went through and
If you take an ordinary, adequate person who has always been sad and decided to become cheerful. In the same way, if he makes incredible efforts, finds approaches to other people, he will become happier, the craving to go back to the past has always been, is and will be.
Yesterday I turned on an old laptop that I had abandoned since 2015, when the craftsmen refused to fix it. Wanting to revive the ancient technique, Batya found another specialist who undertook to replace the failed elements. After a few weeks, the laptop is working properly.
So, I turned it on, logged in to my account — and saw the life that I had long forgotten. I saw the things I used to live by. All this seemed to me so naive, flat and disconnected from my current life that now I can tell you: I am a person, and I am changing.
Something similar can be observed in other people over the years. Especially in the ones you remembered years ago, and now you meet them again and are amazed at the changes.
However, you can often hear that people still do not change. And there are reasons for this.
There are some statements that, although not true in themselves, contain hidden prescriptions that can push a person in a useful direction for him.
I believe that in order to avoid delusions, false and controversial statements should be paraphrased and translated into the language of prescriptions:
“It all depends on you” → “If you want success, go ahead”
“There is no happiness” → “Don't look for happiness”
“There is no God” → “You have nothing to hope for, get up and live”
“People don't change” → “Don't try to change people, accept them as they are”
I believe that people don't change…. until a certain critical event, tragedy, or some outstanding experience. At the same time, key character traits are revealed even after a “shake-up”. The only thing I felt for myself was that I became calmer with age. Your interests have changed. But no more.
I believe. Humans are able to adapt, adapt, deceive, etc. They will behave in a way that is advantageous in a given situation. These actions are unlikely to be comparable to their actual thoughts and desires. No shocks or other significant events will change a person, but only correct his behavior. The essence of a person remains the same, the only question is how strongly it will correlate with real actions.
Of course, people change. 🙂 But the main condition here will be the very desire of a particular person to change. If a person does not want to change and everything suits him, then of course he will not change. And if a person notices something in himself that he would like to change, if he begins to effectively rebuild, then he changes even more. Any changes are work on yourself. Many do not do this, but many work on themselves. 🙂 It depends on specific people.:)
Yes, and with age/personal experience, most people also change. Just long enough. Of course, a person will not change much in a couple of days.:)
And why believe it? This is a fact. They change. From each new impression. From what they saw, heard, felt, felt. For the most part:
It is important to direct the process of change in the right direction. So that they contribute to achieving the desired results. And this is a big topic.
And the most important thing: you need to change in small things. It is the little things that control a person's life. Especially those that are perceived naturally and are not considered from the position of “need to change”. People try to change something global, visible, and meaningful. Which is incorrect and, most often, does not give the desired result. Only the appearance of it.
People both change and don't. With the acquisition of new experience, knowledge and impressions, our certain traits are honed (appear, muted).
Some things remain the same – for example, I was always naive, childish, enthusiastic and surprised by the whole world around me. How much everything went down – naivety and infantileness decreased. However, I also look at the world around me with enthusiasm and wonder.
If I meet someone I haven't seen in 10 years and they remember me as a naive girl, they will be surprised at how my thinking and views on things have changed. And if he remembers my cheerfulness and delight – he will say ” yes, you haven't changed at all!”.
Since you invited me to answer – I will answer without equivocation? So I understand and believe.
Yes, I believe that people themselves, if they can change, are only able to change in form, in their expression, and not in their essence(essence). A dog can only become cultivated, it can stop living on the street and start living in an apartment, it can learn to run on a leash, listen to commands, be combed, show its pedigree, discipline, and training, and in comparison with the street Ball look just something else, but this is only an illusion-it is still a dog, even if it is cultivated.
To change oneself means to be born again with a different set of qualities, a different nature, and this is already close to such a concept as rebirth and refers to a religious term, and this is a reference to the Creator. It is the Creator who can radically change the very nature of creation, and not just perform cosmetic surgery. Since He created a person with a certain set of qualities, then He can also recreate him, and by the way, this is what He calls for through Christianity:
3 Incline your ear, and come to me: hear, and your soul will live; and I will give you an everlasting covenant, the mercies that I promised David without fail.
(Isaiah 55: 3)
25 And I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be cleansed from all your filth, and from all your idols I will cleanse you.
26 And I will give you a new heart, and I will give you a new spirit; and I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh.
27 I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my commandments, and keep my statutes, and do them.
(Ezek. 36: 25-27)
In general, one of the statuses of Christ is the status of the Savior of the World – this status explains the need for any person to be saved: to be saved from evil, from lies, from sin, and ultimately from himself, which excludes the possibility of self-improvement and one's own essential change. The patient needs a doctor.