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Hello. Of course, there is also one called mental health. I had borderline personality disorder, which was making my life worse. I didn't understand who I was, why I was here, or why I didn't want to live. As a result, I underwent a year and a half of psychotherapy with colleagues from Israel and became a psychotherapist myself. Now I help people to live a full and rich life, which I live myself. I am not only an active practitioner, but also engage in social activities to harmonize interethnic relations, write programs to prevent violence among young people, and help people with suicidal thoughts and adolescent depression. At the same time, I have two adult children and I am a sought-after friend and person. Therefore, the best gift that you can give yourself and that will always pay off is working with a specialist for a year and a half once a week on your unconscious. What to work on: find your Self, build boundaries, learn how to create deep relationships with people (after working through childhood traumas) , and build a perspective on life based on moral values. How to start: start a 96-sheet notebook and write down what happened during the day and what impression it made on you in the evening before going to bed. At the end of the week, view and adjust your life to fit your wishlist. Thanks for the question.
For some reason, I remembered Keanu Reeves ' (Neo from The Matrix) answer to a question from the Reddit social network. I'll quote the entire text, and then explain why it fits your question.
Поклонник: In an industry where so many people lose themselves how do you keep your soul and stay true to yourself? You are so generous, kind and such a beautiful spirit, how do you stay grounded?
Киану: Well thank you for saying that. And it's easy to stay grounded. The ground is very close and we walk on it every day.
**
Fan: In an industry where so many people are losing themselves, how do you manage to keep your soul and be true to yourself? You are such a generous, kind and wonderful person, how do you manage not to lose your head from success?
Keanu: Well, thank you for your words. And it's easy to be close to the ground (stay grounded-literally, “to be close to the ground, not to lose contact with reality, not to lose your head from success”). The land is very close and we walk on it every day.
**
Living in the present moment is easy, because we live in it every moment. All we need to do to spend more time in the present is not to lose it.
We don't need to add anything to our lives, we just need to stop following the thoughts that take us away from the present moment.
Once you stop thinking and focus on the here and now, is there anything else you need to do?
No .As soon as you stop leaving the present moment, you immediately return to it.
It's like standing in the middle of a room and trying to find your way in. How to do it? Do you need to go somewhere and do something to be in the center?
You just need to realize that you are already in the center and any actions will only take you away from there.
So, for me, the only thing to do is to remember that as soon as we stop thinking and pay attention to what is around us, our feelings, the nature around us, sounds, smells and tastes, we immediately return to the present.
Meditation (which is basically paying attention to the present) It helps you learn to remind yourself to pay attention to the here and now, but it's optional.
A walk in a forest or park where you can hear the cries of birds, the sounds of the city, smell the trees and feel the touch of the sun on your skin is the same meditation.
And even dishes can be washed while meditating, that is, paying attention to the sensations of a sponge, warm water, foam.
Everything that we pay enough attention to becomes extraordinary.
Personally, the book “Mindfulness. How to survive in our crazy world.” It's about meditation and “here and now”, but without philosophy. Pure practice. I highly recommend it – the language is good, easy (although there is a little scientific information).
This book contains a program of meditation and mindfulness training for several weeks. No more lotus postures or mantras, you will gradually introduce mindfulness into your daily life.�
When I feel like I'm “out of the moment,” I do the practices in this book, including a small 3-minute meditation. Even if you don't take practice, you can just stop and start monitoring your breathing. Take a deep breath, feel the air flow into your lungs as you exhale. A couple of minutes will do.�
When I walk the dog or go to the store, I try to leave my phone at home and look around, feel. Again, consciously breathe (it's spring, the air is so delicious!), fresh wind on the skin, warm rays, a beautiful glare in a puddle. A stylishly dressed man stands nearby. But the sign that I always pass by, has there always been a butterfly?
You also need to remember about death. This is well written in Mark Manson's book “The Subtle Art of Not Caring”. When we forget about death, we don't value life as much as we should.�
Thank you for being here.
I'm breathing.
I can see the blue sky.
I can feel the wind.
I drink fragrant tea.
I hug my family.
Thank you for every day.
______
A smaller phone number is key. Because of the Internet, instant messengers and social networks, our attention has become scattered. Dozens of tabs, internal anxiety that we don't have time to do everything. A sense of incompleteness.�
I try to look out of the window or at the passengers when I'm on the bus or train. And the more often I do this, the easier it is and the more I want to be in the moment.
There is only one way – to perceive reality with your senses, not with your thinking (assessments, judgments, opinions). Not to digitize reality, but to perceive it with your eyes, ears, and body. Feel smells, hear sounds, feel the pressure of the earth on the soles of your feet.
If you are asking about practices on how to achieve this state, then there are many of them. From the East – object meditations. Concentration on the contemplation of something.
Perls has a “See, hear, feel” technique. You look at people, houses, trees, say to yourself “I see…”. The wind blows in your face-say ” I feel…”. And so on.
Look for techniques designed to activate and sharpen perceptions.
In general, the idea of living in the present day or” living in the present tense “came from the east from meditative practices, when you contemplate without evaluating, or are” in nothingness “(emptiness). The difference between the eastern “here-and-now” and the western “here-and-now” is that in the east time is absolute, and in the west it is relative. In other words, in the East, time is an illusion, it is a set of moments “here-and-now”, and in the West, time is linear and relative, that is, there is a past present and future.
Do you want to give up the “psychological past” and “psychological future”?
A person “here-and-now “is a disabled person who has” lost his memory”, who does not know who he is, where he is, what is happening. People with organic brain damage who are” forced “to live in the” here-and-now ” are maladaptive. Their reality is an apartment plastered with stickers. In the morning, they see the first sticker: “don't worry, your name is Vasya, you've lost your memory, look to the right, there are instructions.”
Eastern philosophy cannot ” take over the world “because of erroneous ideas or translations that one must live” in the moment”, in the”here-and-now”. I mean, the translation is accurate, but it is rarely explained that there is no other time. That the past is an illusion, the future is an illusion. Yesterday wasn't yesterday. When you lived it, it was also a moment in the present tense. In addition, contemplative meditation, the practice of “here-and-now” is a skill that some people learn for years.
Many people can not stop thinking, turn off thoughts, feelings, body sensations. They can not contemplate, perceive reality without assessments, judgments, opinions. Hundreds of hours of meditation (practices) are required. First, object meditations (focusing on something). Then non-objective meditations (nedumanie). It is only with time that the meditative state ceases to be a practice( exercise) and becomes a way of life.
You still retain the ability to refer to any moment in your experience or fantasy, but you don't see it as moving out of the present and into the past or imaginary future. You do not evaluate it, but perceive it directly, as if it is “now”. It can take years to master the skill of non-judgmental perception of reality and the ability not to turn on thinking unnecessarily.
Why would you do that? Are you planning to become a philosopher? Leave the wheel of samsara, gain immortality, and escape the endless cycle of rebirth?
Most likely, your question is not about how to “come to the present”, but about how to “disidentify with painful experiences from the past”. Remove fixations on traumatic experiences. Don't relive the trauma of the past today. That is, not to come to the present itself, but to remove the superfluous past from the present.
If you want to remove unpleasant experiences from the present tense, look for techniques like “accept and let go of the past”, ” how to get rid of obsessive experiences (thoughts, feelings).
The unconscious has no “past” or ” future.” There are two categories: “now” and “never”. So what happens is that a dog bit you 10 years ago, and you are afraid of dogs now. For the unconscious, a ten-year-old dog is a “here-and-now” dog.
Let's see how consciousness works and whether it has time.
I believe that most people perceive life in a holistic, timeless way, but we have been “led to believe that we perceive the linear unidirectional movement of time. A “thought mixer” of knowledge, scientific theories “makes you think” that the process is “underway”.
On the one hand, people agreed that time is changing, moving, there is a past, present, and future. This is a deception on the part of science. Chat for a long time with any person. You will learn that consciousness has one time: “always”.
Talk to anyone. Sometimes he will tell you about the past, as if he is still in the past. “I was ill a lot then, I remember once my grandmother came…”. You'll see in his eyes that he's “there.” He looks “deep into himself”.
Sometimes he talks about the past from the perspective of the present. “I remember my marriage, as if it was another person in my place, she bewitched me.” Sometimes from the future. “In my old age, I will buy a house in Spain and remember my difficult childhood with gratitude.” A person who “is” in the past and talks about the past is not at a fixed point, his attention is sliding “forward or backward”, he is looking from “an earlier past to a later one” or vice versa.
It's the same with the present and the future. A person from the “early present” can look into the “late present”. For example, the” present ” in his picture of the world is “today”. If he is moving “forward”, then he can talk about plans for the evening in the context of today. If it moves back, it can remember the morning. In his mind, this is not the past, but the present. He just says: “I'm going to the bus stop in the morning…”.
From the early present to the past: “quite by chance I meet this week a classmate with whom we are together…”. A person tells about a meeting that took place a few days ago, as a fact from the present. Probably, for him, the present time is the current week.
From the past to the future and back to the earlier past: “when I was in the first grade, I dreamed of becoming a doctor, like my grandmother.” “In the first class” — the past, “as a doctor” – an imaginary future, “as a grandmother” — a remembered past. The first-grader was previously told about his grandmother, or the grandmother told him about herself, took him to work before the child went to the first grade.
A person lives “simultaneously in all times”, and these are not “points on the time line”, but “vectors of movement” in different directions.
If people were not taught logic, time, and age, they would speak in terms of the present tense. An adult would say, ” I'm sitting at my desk in first grade one day, and suddenly a neighbor pushes me.” This is what even logical, causal people say, who prefer logic and thinking, when they are immersed in themselves in the session and forget to “turn on thinking”.
Historians speak of “pre-axial time,” when people had no idea that time existed or that time was “moving somewhere.” In the Amazon, there is a Pirahu tribe that has no time and no money. The Pirahu (Pirahan) Indians do not know their age, do not understand what it means. There are only two numbers in the bill: “several” and “many”. “One “is a complex philosophical category that they don't understand. They have no concept of “my child”, “my mother”. All those who are older are parents, and those who are younger are children. The self-name of the tribe is straight (straight — headed). The rest of the people, including the Indians of neighboring tribes, are “crooked-headed”.
For me, this method was photography. I bought a camera some time ago, and I think it was one of the most significant events of recent years for me. Now I often walk, go to various interesting places and, being in the creative process, clear myself of thoughts and experiences, because my head is occupied only with what is happening now (concentration on the process and observation of the surrounding environment). And this is somewhat akin to meditation. But most importantly, this way of thinking is subconsciously accepted and transferred to other life processes. I noticed that after taking up photography, I started living in the moment more often.
But it seems to me that any creative process contributes to this, so choose the one that is closer to you, and go ahead)
[Apparently, the author of the question meant ways to feel the current moment]
[My answer refers to literally living in the present moment, living through life without thinking about yesterday and tomorrow]
[such an ambiguity]
Well, strictly speaking, you still live “here and now”. Other options are not physically possible. You, by the way, are reading my answer “here and now”. Welcome. But further options are possible.
Are you haunted by your past? Do you grieve over missed opportunities? Are you afraid of your future? Do you build castles in the air that “here and now” collapse? Or do you just want to escape from your current problems and enter a world where there is no yesterday or tomorrow? What exactly is the problem? You need to realize this first. And solve specific problems. Perhaps even with the help of a therapist.
And here you will be given advice from their bell tower, how people solved their personal problems, which, at best, will not help you in any way. At worst, you'll be chasing another unattainable goal.
Of course there is. I always act on the situation, I don't worry about what will happen/what was, but I'm not saying that I don't plan my actions in the present for the long term. The result of my actions and thoughts is always the point at which I am now at a given moment in time. Circumstances are not restrictions, but a base from which to start in your reasoning.
I agree that this should not be a “moment”, but I think that sometimes you can step back a little to rest from this overabundance of emotions ( in a good way).
I feel my life best when I'm surrounded by other people who are important and close to me. Their emotions, words, and just being around them sharpens the feeling of being present in this world, the feeling that I'm not just wasting oxygen. Next to close people, all this is amplified many times, life can be felt “on taste”.
The moment must be part of the whole (eternal), otherwise living in moments can become a kind of “clip thinking”. Drug addicts, by the way, also live in the moment – they always have on the agenda focus on the momentary, what this leads to next – they do not want to talk about it and think about it. So for me, living in the moment means living with an eye to eternity-that is, with the understanding that what I do is true, true, valuable, good.
Simply put, the main thing is Reality Itself, true Reality, and not being illusory. One of the Creator's names is I Am. And in my opinion, only the person who lives the reality of the moment is connected to the Creator through communication and His Word. That is why the Teacher said that ” man lives not only by bread alone, not only by his physiological and emotional needs, but by the Word of God.