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I think “I need you because I love you” is about giving and owning. “I love you because I need you” – about the need to take, to be protected. I think there is selfishness in both cases, because both there and there in the other person we fill our needs. I won't say if it's good or bad, it's just the way it is.
And it's easy to love because I love you and I can't help it – and even if you don't love me, I will still live and love because I respect you and your choice – some kind of transcendent pure and true love without selfishness. This is the very love that fills a person even more. But this is about Myshkin, Lyosha Karamazov and Jesus:)
Well, love is an area in which each of us is no less and no more expert than Comrade. Fromm, or tov. Aristotle, or tov. Sinitsyna.
“I need you because I love you”, in my perception, is just a description of Fromm's personal experiences. For me, if love is arranged according to the degrees of ripeness-maturity, mature love is based on “I want, but I don't need”, – I want to be with you, but definitely not at any cost, – and how are you?..))
I can only imagine that he meant something similar – that a more mature love is not from a lack, not from a hole that needs to be filled, but from God. As a normal charity-not out of a desire to fill the meaninglessness of your life, but out of the excess, fullness of a life that is quite meaningful without it.
But it's easier-read it, he wrote more than just that about love. Obviously, he still has a lot of text around this thesis…
Oh, this is a favorite phrase of all pick-up artists. You either love or allow yourself to be loved. I will not say that this is complete nonsense and yet it is partially true. Relationships can really be built on the principle where one depends on the other. And I even asked one lady what she would prefer and she chose the latter. I suspect that as people get older, they become more pragmatic and rely on one-hundred-percent relationships rather than choosing blind love. Therefore, first of all, they want to get their coveted love “in the property” for a guarantee.