22 Answers

  1. Yes, this happens when a person has an internal attitude that forbids him to be happier than his loved ones, who are dear to him.

    In psychology, this is called loyalty to the family scenario. The essence of this phenomenon is the fear of being rejected by your loved ones if the person is not like them. In other words, it is the fear of possible loneliness if a person is not like his relatives.

    How to deal with this?

    In psychodrama, there is a special technique when we “organize” (and in reality, we play) a meeting of a person with their significant people (most often parents), pronounce all the fears and receive a blessing for a happy life. This gives a person inner permission to be happy.

    Why does this work?

    In fact, it is not real people who forbid an adult to be happy, but his internal introjects of these people. And, consequently, we do not work with real parents (who are useless to change), but with internal images of these parents, which, under certain circumstances, can be changed. The “don't be happier than us” setting changes to “we want you to be happy”. And thus, a person gets inner permission to be what he wants to be.

  2. It was, but gradually I got rid of this feeling.�

    1. There is a theory that guilt involves a mechanism of punishment – that is, a higher power feels that you blame yourself for something and punishes you. You can believe it, you can not believe it, the point is that for someone it can be an effective way to get rid of feelings of guilt.

    2. It helps to realize that the happier you are, the more often you feel sincere happiness and joy without admixture of guilt, the more you can do for others who are not so good yet.

    3. The most important thing: LIFE IS SHORT. And you need to enjoy every little thing, every day. In my opinion, the meaning of life is precisely in this, since the outcome is always the same. And to help everyone is unrealistic, understand this (this does not mean that you do not need to help, of course).

    4. Does it make anyone feel better that you're feeling guilty? But if you are on a wave of happiness and joy, when you have a large reserve of love and creative energy, do a good deed, even if you transfer an old lady across the road, hug your mother, or transfer 100 rubles to homeless animals or any charity foundation, this is another matter. And the feeling of guilt will not torment you, it simply will not arise.

  3. Most likely, the conscience at that moment in time, which you wrote about, “bothered” you for a completely different reason.

    Because you didn't do something, couldn't do it, or didn't help…

    You are really a HAPPY Person, because there are not enough people who are worried about their CONSCIENCE!

  4. Things happen. And this is normal if it happens rarely and takes up half an hour or an hour of your time.

    All cautious and anxious people always fear for the future and try to control all the events of their lives and people nearby.

    It becomes abnormal when this thought is obsessive and the feeling of guilt strongly distracts from ordinary affairs.

    And if this harms your normal life or makes you act unwisely, then you need to dig out-why, and what to do?

  5. Yes, there was a period in my life when everything was somehow too good at home with my family, with friends, and at work. And yes, I had a guilty conscience. At that moment, thoughts came to my mind: for what, how did I deserve this? I even tried to find an excuse for my happiness, like it's probably because something bad happened to me then. In the end, this self-poking led me to have panic attacks. I started to get sick. The period of happiness was replaced by a period of unhappiness. I think it's my own fault. In moments of happiness, you can not reproach yourself for this, you need to live and rejoice. After all, happiness doesn't last long.

  6. Yes. I had a period when I was simply “overwhelmed” with happiness. I was lucky in everything, everything worked out with ease, I was surrounded by joy and prosperity. But, it was only for me, and not for my close and beloved people. And I said, ” Why do I need so much alone? I want to share my joy.” And it was all over… Of course, I did not become unhappy, but the feeling of happiness disappeared and disappeared among the many “unhappy” people with whom I wanted to share. But, I don't regret it, because my little piece of happiness may have helped someone, and made at least for a moment someone's life better. After all, grief divided in half is half grief, and joy shared with someone is double joy.

  7. No, there was no such feeling. I just can't imagine how you can push yourself in moments of happiness and blame yourself for something. Because of what? This is strange. Of course, if my happiness was built at the expense of someone else's misfortune, it would be a completely different matter.

    Yes, friends, colleagues, relatives may have troubles, failures at the moment when you are soaring in the seventh heaven, but if you are not directly involved in their condition, then what is your fault?

    If you are ashamed, then help them morally, support them, share your happiness, and encourage them. Maybe then it will be easier for you, because you showed some kind of participation.

    Conversely, if I have troubles in my life, why blame those who have nothing to do with it?

  8. I do everything according to my conscience and nothing else, so no, never. In general, I sincerely do not understand people who violate their own moral principles for anything other than saving the world.

  9. Conscience is wealth, but there are poor people-they try to compensate for the loss by any means! I am not a qualified psychologist, but if you are happy, make sure that I only touch children so that they do not suffer either. and the rest of us go to hell!

  10. Well, be glad that you are happy, that everything is in order, you just got lucky in life. Many people live alone all their lives and are found dead in their apartments not by relatives, but by neighbors due to the fact that it has become stinky. And this is not due to the fact that they are bad people and parasites, just no luck and fart in life. Many people say that anyone can achieve anything, you just need a desire, it's all bullshit, so say those who have luck and fart in their hands. So jump with happiness, what brought such happiness)

  11. It happens when you meet up with old friends, and they somehow do not stick together everything.. at work, it's not very good, the personal front is stormy, and in general, frustration and apathy permeates through. And you're sitting here so energetic, and everything is fine with you.
    It wasn't exactly guilt, just embarrassment.. you don't even know what to talk about.

  12. Rather, you are worried that happiness may end, this often happens when everything is so good that it seems that it can not be so. Think and think positively! The glass is always half full.

  13. One of Murphy's laws, namely the Duncan Idaho Statement, states: “There is an old, old trick of autocratic government: the good must feel guilty. With guilt comes a sense of failure. A good autocrat creates many opportunities to make the population feel like losers.”
    This is a theory about the situation. Now about getting out of it. There is a so-called “Complete set of rules of the Game”, so the 11th point in it says: “There are no failures! “Failure” – this is the result that you really wanted! If what you did led you to SUCH a result, then do something else and it will lead you to ANOTHER!”
    Therefore, Rogers ' Law: “Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit on the road.”

  14. If a person is happy at the expense of crimes, then this is understandable.

    But if a person feels it just like that, then this is no different from any other bad qualities, moods, etc.that you need to get rid of.

    In this case, you need to realize that it is impossible not to hate someone, yourself in the first place. On the contrary, for peace and love, you must first love yourself and wish yourself happiness. That's what a person lives for.

    It is not good to think that good is bad, and happiness is good.

  15. I was asked to answer this question. The answer is that my conscience bothers me so much that I haven't felt happy for ten years. Sorry.

    Zakhar Petrovich on the background of the sunset dashing pale

  16. Tolstoy has an episode in Resurrection when Prince Nekhludoff walks down a prison corridor, sees the prisoners (many of whom he knows are innocent), and is overcome by a “sense of shame before these people” because he was born a prince and they were mere mortals.

    If that's what you're talking about, then it's still there. And now there is. Maybe it's age. But sometimes it gets in the way. And yet I am sure that this is not conscience, namely shame-one-on-one with yourself this feeling does not arise, only when you come into contact with a person/people. Such an example is shown by the doc. a film about starving people in Africa, for example. As if even from the screen, but still the feeling… it's hard, for example, to look into the eyes. Like I'm guilty of something. Look away. At least somehow I'm not guilty of that… The logic here, apparently, is this :” I could have been born to them, he could have been born to me, but I was lucky, he was not.” I don't know what my fault is.�

    Harmful complex.

    P.S. The answer is solely an interpretation of the author's subjective life experience.

  17. No. But I watched it from the sidelines. It seems to me that it's not my conscience that bothers me, but a sense of guilt that everything is fine. I'll put it another way. This is the attitude that I don't deserve to live well when someone feels bad, or that everything in life has to be paid for…..

    As a rule, this is the case for those people who had to go through a lot in childhood. This is a generic attitude, i.e. something that we could observe in the lives of our relatives. For example, the hard life of grandparents, mothers, fathers, or stories about tragedies in the family.
    How would I react? 👉Would try to change the installation.

  18. No, it wasn't. I'm happy, and yet, it's just so natural. It's like breathing. Now I'm breathing, which is normal for me, but someone has asthma or is drowning altogether. So what's my fault here?

    So be happy, share your happiness, it will only become more)

  19. I came to the conclusion that total happiness and well-being is not for me. I didn't grow up in a boundless harbor where everything was always good, so maybe that's why it's not my comfort zone. It happens so well that it is already a little bad, then my conscience oppresses me; for the fact that someone is bad, for the fact that I did not deserve it, for the fact that I will have to answer for it, etc. In short, I feel calmer when everything is good, but there is something to strive for.

  20. It happened when I was younger. You get used to something bad, and when the good is uncomfortable, unusual. My conscience gnawed only when I was happy and someone close to me was suffering.

    So suffered recently ago. Then I broke the habit. After all, happiness is happiness that would be enjoyed and appreciated while it is there. You will still have time to grieve and gnaw yourself with guilt.

    I came across the phrase:,, Conscience is the ability to take out the brain to itself,,.

    If there is a reason for conscience, it is necessary to eliminate it. If the reason is ridiculous, then why take out your brain?�

    Most often, the conscience for happiness is just discomfort, when you get into an unusual situation, environment, etc. I am inclined to think that it is necessary to work with this. Often this,, conscience,, fear that it will get worse further. Like for something bad. Or the fear that this is an illusion.

  21. Happiness is the same feeling that you do not experience all the time, sometimes more often, sometimes less often, and if during these not very long and frequent periods of time, for some reason, your conscience will also be disturbed, then your conscience should be ashamed of it. The question is personal, so I will answer for myself that no. And if that were the case, I would envy the unscrupulous.

  22. No, I don't get the thrill of sacrifice and suffering. So happiness is one of the most natural and harmonious states for me. I can imagine that at some point in my happiness, I will worry that it will end quickly or never happen again. But I don't feel any guilt for my own happiness. I have the right to happiness simply for the reason that it is given to me to feel it-this is once, because according to my own rating system I am not a bad person-this is two. Perhaps if I ever try to build my happiness on the misery of other people, shame will overtake me, but I doubt that this will happen, because the need to go over their heads and happiness already seem to me mutually exclusive things

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