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Contact a specialist, psychologist/ psychotherapist / clinical psychologist, you will not be “closed”, it is useful to read, but not always , take my word for it, otherwise you need to paint for a very long time .
See a therapist. It's not a shame. If your father had broken your leg, wouldn't you have gone to the doctor? It is not clear why the psyche is worse than the legs.
look into yourself, if this continues, then leave your father, if everything is already behind you, then learn to immerse yourself in yourself, and look for motivation inside yourself in combination with a sense of strength. if you find strength, then confidence in your abilities will increase, which means your consciousness will be rebuilt on worthy thoughts that give respect to yourself,and if you have respect for yourself, then you will start to understand people, and stop hating everyone, learn to set goals and work in a team
Come out of the position of the victim, there is more of this: http://www.vimaru.ru�Take responsibility for your life and forgive your father: your heart will only get better.