- Why did everyone start to hate the Russians if the U.S. did the same thing in Afghanistan, Iraq?
- What needs to be corrected in the management of Russia first?
- Why did Blaise Pascal become a religious man at the end of his life?
- How do I know if a guy likes you?
- When they say "one generation", how many do they mean?
There is no clear gestalt or structure for building yourself, based on the essence of the question and on this phrase: “who I want to be”, I remember one wonderful conversation with a very sincere person, full of sincerity and desire to help (in many ways he influenced me), so, I will assume that the author of the question does not sit idle and probably engages in one or another activity that only aggravates and does not bring the proper dopamine surge. Your panacea is to do something that will make you tickle or, to paraphrase, move on high (at least in the form of a hobby), there are no absolutely disinterested people, there are those who simply do not make attempts and search for their shelter. Sooner or later, you'll find your gold mine. And here, please note, the main thing is not to go down the wrong path, because social institutions often impose on you what you should see yourself as (this attitude comes into sharp discord with your idiosyncratic nature), and this is a false and very slippery path to becoming an “unhappy” structural unit.�
As for the “inner demons”, either a purely medical solution to the problem will help you here. Namely, a course of nootropic stimulation. If you approach this with a cool, calculating head and choose a course that focuses on improving your emotional state (or D. R., depending on your goals), you will soon get results (just don't overdo it). But remember, stimulation is just your crutch, you also need to try to get active.
Another option is without interfering with the homeostasis of your own body. Be more active and engage in introspection (usually in this process, people drive themselves into a dead end, which inevitably leads to self-deprecation or, in the worst case, to depression), only when absolutely necessary. Of course, it is impossible to completely eradicate reflection, and this is not necessary, the main thing is to make sure that it does not develop into a “destructive path”.�
Of course, there may be other solutions to the problem, after all, everything is purely individual. But I can vouch for all the above, I practice regularly myself.
First, set the exact parameters for what kind of person you want to become. Otherwise, in the process of “becoming” you will forget or re-decide, and then the process of becoming will turn into a pursuit of the unattainable, leading to neurosis.
Maybe at your leisure read: Karen Horney “Neurosis and Personal Growth”
Live for yourself. First of all, respect your own point of view, then only other people's opinions. I do not call this to self-centeredness. Everyone in relation to himself is able to draw a moderate line in this matter. As for inner demons – engage in self-delving, study your contradictions and internal conflicts. �This should not cause fear, because it is very interesting and it is the only way to get to know the real you. The areas where the pain passes through are the most acute, and they deserve to work first. What annoys or frightens or disgusts you should be reduced to neutrality. This is all not so simple as in words, but also not so difficult, it is quite in the power of each person.