5 Answers

    1. Accept that forgiveness or unforgiveness depends on the other person's free will, so they may not forgive if they don't want to, and there's nothing they can do about it.

    0″. Think about whether you are exactly to blame for the current situation. It may be the result of a common effort, or it may not have an unambiguous interpretation. In this case, the conflict may be resolved in some other way, or you are simply manipulated. I agree with Anna's idea that you can't offend a person, although you can do something obviously unpleasant for them, and sometimes you can do it with a good understanding of the consequences; in this case, you can say that you definitely have to bear the main responsibility for what happened. But this does not mean that any offense is necessarily justified and conditioned by the unfitness of your actions.

    1. Think carefully and determine for yourself what exactly you have done that is unacceptable, and why you should not do it. It is very unpleasant when people ask for forgiveness without overestimating anything for themselves, just so that everything”becomes” as convenient for them again.

    2. Decide never to do this, as far as you are able to refrain from such behavior.

    3. Tell the result of your work to the offended person without emotional pressure and manipulation in the spirit of “now let's forget everything”,” in general, of course, all this pales before our love”, etc. Tell them that your relationship is very important to you, and although there are problems in it, you are ready to work on them; that you care about his feelings, and you did not want to hurt them; that you do not want this situation to happen again in the future; that you understand that he is very upset.

    4. Ask him about his version of events. This is a mandatory point, you can completely misunderstand his feelings and the reasons for his reactions. People don't like having their feelings decided for them.

    5. Ask him if he accepts your apology and is ready to continue the relationship. These are two different questions, and forgiveness itself does not imply the resumption of a relationship. Accept the response. In the case of a negative response, nothing (except for a direct ban, of course) prevents you from re-entering the conversation after some time, but you should not be too frequent, you can aggravate the situation with irritation about obsession.

  2. No way. It is impossible to force a person to forgive someone, just as it is impossible to force yourself to forgive another. We don't have to forgive at all, but we can do it.

    If a person has hurt someone, offended him or her very much, then you need to ask for forgiveness or apologize. As many times as you can afford to do it, and as sincerely as you can manage it.

    If someone can't forgive another person, it means that they don't want or can't let go of that person (the abuser) out of a sense of guilt towards themselves. So he feels that the other person is still in his debt.

    Forgiveness is a process, not a single act. Forgiveness is not the point. It takes time for a person to forgive, and each of them has their own time. Therefore, you need to wait patiently for the other person to forgive you, not push the other, maintain a respectful distance to him and, most importantly, do not cause additional pain along the way.

    But sometimes it also happens that someone who is offended by me may revel in their resentment, finding in this experience peculiar charms, hidden or explicit goals and meanings. Such a person may not want to forgive, even if they are repeatedly asked for forgiveness in the most sincere way. In such cases, relationships, normal relationships, are already difficult to restore, if at all possible. In such cases, it is better to leave such a person alone with their own resentment, because it is much more precious to him (her) than a relationship with another person.

  3. It matters how close you are to each other. If you know a person well, then the levers of pressure are known. Moreover, it is worth understanding who is offended, a man or a woman. The second option is solved by weasel �.

  4. I'll tell you a secret – you can't offend anyone. You don't control other people's feelings, and you can't make the other person feel offended if they don't want to. The expression “you offended me” is pure manipulation. You have no power to offend anyone.

    You can't make the other person forgive you either. The only thing you can do is admit that you think your actions were wrong and ask for forgiveness. But whether he forgives you or not is up to him. If a person wants to be offended , he will be offended. Often it has nothing to do with you at all, because many people are offended by their thoughts and fantasies about you.

  5. Electric shock can be used. Or try to take someone hostage. You can tie it to a chair, and from above hang a vessel with water,from which a drop will drip on the crown. And even better-do not give sleep for three days in a row! Well, how else TO FORCE?

    Epona-Matryona, you need to fix the assemblage point in your head first! How did the shame of what he had done suddenly come into conflict with the desire to force and bend him to his will?

    “Ten men can force a donkey to drink, but even a hundred won't make it drink if it doesn't want to.”

    If on the topic, then you need to do the following: (1) calm down the panic and clearly understand that solving the problem at any cost, you can drive it into a specific hell. (2) try to understand quickly enough whether the current situation is bottoming out or we are still sinking. If not the bottom, then it is necessary to eliminate the factors that continue to pull down. (3) If there is a bottom, then you can squeeze your impatience into a fist and start looking for a way out, while keeping two things in mind: (A) fast – it does not happen well; (B) how not to lose your Self and not fall under the manipulation of the offended in an attempt to find a way out.

    Such cases. zHyzn – pain. While it hurts, it means it's alive.

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