How do you know if everything is really so bad in life, or if you just think too much about problems and get hung up?

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3 Answers

  1. The biggest problem of a person is twisting yourself. it's hard not to. I keep coming up with things that aren't there. this is very bad both internally and externally. it is necessary to see the difference between cheating and productive analysis of the problem/situation. because people are very emotional, they cheat first and then think (or don't think at all). Thinking, as we wrote above, is useful. but you need to differentiate your thoughts and distract yourself from them with all sorts of pleasant little things. in general, it is difficult to say whether the real problem in life or it is contrived, without knowing the whole situation. The problem from the series ” why doesn't he call me, am I boring him? oh my God, he's tired of me, I'm a shit and he's a jerk, how bad everything is ” – this is not a problem. you need to clearly understand what you can call a real problem, and what is just a figment of your imagination. then it will be possible to look for solutions )

  2. Thinking is useful. Thinking a lot is useful. Thinking too much about the same thing is sometimes disastrous. If something bothers you for a long time, does not allow you to function normally, most likely this “something” is not right now, so then it will push you into the embrace of apathy. I believe in saying goodbye to problems right away, at least on an emotional level. Obviously, not all problems are solved overnight, but I always try not to let them set up camp in my head. Recognize the problem, identify ways to eliminate it, and move on. It may take months to solve it, but the main thing is not to get hung up, not to let it feed on your vital energy.
    Often, life is not as bad as it seems, even in its most disgusting moments. The main thing is to act. Do not think too much, do not go into self-flagellation, do not dig into your head. This is all elegant psychological masochism.
    I suffer from this myself and constantly struggle with it. Sports, dancing, any physical activity helps, because it helps not to think.
    Oh, and more music!

  3. The previous answers, in principle, give an understanding of what needs to be done: to see the difference between twisting and thinking/analyzing the problem, but do not give an understanding of how to do it.�

    But sometimes it happens that it is difficult to see the difference, it is difficult to draw this line: where do I wind myself up? how big is the problem? could it be that it's really bad?

    The question has a “life hack” tag, and such a life hack really exists to solve the issue.�

    I'll start from afar 🙂

    I was depressed, and I went to a psychologist for help. Then it seemed to me that everything in life was terrible, the black streak would not end, nothing good would happen, and nothing could happen to me, because good things happen to other people, and no one loves me, not even myself.

    When all this took threatening turns, began to really affect my life and turned into a vicious circle, I went to a specialist.

    One of the problems that I voiced was related to obsessive thoughts and fixation on failures. She helped me get over it with two simple exercises:

    1. Journal of automatic thoughts�https://yadi.sk/i/aWo_l5fmu4Rjz

    2. Weekly class schedule�https://yadi.sk/i/u56zSgawu4Rky�

    How did this help:

    The journal of automatic thoughts helps you assess the objectivity of your thoughts in retrospect and distance: was everything in this situation really as terrible as I thought it was when it happened?

    The weekly class schedule helped me assess how much I was actually doing and how well I was doing.

    At first it was difficult, but then it's all done automatically, and even there is no need to write everything down.�

    It seems like it's too simple to be true, but in fact, it's a very good technique that actually works.
    Of course, it will be great if a specialist helps you with this, but independent work is also very important.

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