5 Answers

  1. Fill your life with as many new and vivid experiences as possible.

    Anything will do – travel, work, study, other people.

    If the impressions are vivid enough, they will literally “fill” your head with thoughts about yourself, and gradually hatred for former friends will become “uninteresting”.

    The secret is to find not just something interesting and exciting to do, but SOMETHING MUCH more interesting and exciting that will literally steal all your attention.

  2. You realize that there is a flaw in your train of thought. It's good. It remains to find this flaw.

    To live life is not a field to cross. Yes, there are not only meetings, but also breakups. When you accept life, you have to accept both.

    There are different ways to survive breakups, for whatever reason they happen. The Buddha advised us to give up our joys in order to avoid our sorrows. Christ taught to forgive not only the righteous, but also sinners. Yes, some of them have undermined your faith in friendship, in love, maybe in people in general. But is that enough reason to lose faith in yourself? You, as a person, are more important to yourself than all your friends. Save your mind from unnecessary worries; believe that you are able to do without those who had to leave, and that you can find new friends; but also from new friends, your personality should now be completely independent.

    Independence is the key to freedom. As long as you consciously or unconsciously try to win back your friends, you childishly connect your success in life with your environment, i.e. you remain dependent on other people, if not economically, then psychologically. To become a mature and fully independent person, you must outgrow it. If you are a Christian or follow any other Abrahamic religion (Islam, Judaism…), open the Scriptures. There is a cautionary tale in the Old Testament about the long-suffering Job. You can interpret it in different ways. For example, that Job, having found himself in the circumstances of a terrible fall in life, did not lose hope and faith in his fate, for which, in the end, he was rewarded. Another man would have strangled himself and thus avoided suffering. Which option do you think is more preferable?

    Even if you are an atheist, you still need to believe in yourself in order not to be a pawn in someone else's game. As long as you blame others for your failures, you have no faith in yourself. Draw conclusions about your own ability to understand people. If you were betrayed, it means that you trusted the wrong people, did not insure against betrayal, did not provide for the motivation of someone's infidelity, did not follow the signs of a relationship complication… You can change friends, but what good is it if you repeat the same mistakes over and over again when building relationships with them? Analyze the failure and draw constructive conclusions. Find your mistakes and try to avoid them in the future. Life is long; there is still a lot to learn; and people usually learn from mistakes.

  3. Start thinking about yourself, your life. Make plans, put them into practice. Dream. And so on and so forth Then there is no time and it will not be interesting to think about others etc.h about exes

  4. and why think about them?)

    so what is the goal?)

    Are you chewing on a grudge or something?
    plotting revenge, feeling sorry for yourself?

    what is the essence of your thoughts, please tell us)

  5. All people change over time. You used to have common interests. Then people changed, their interests changed, they stopped being comfortable with each other, and communication became a burden. It's like taking a boat, reaching the shore, and instead of leaving the boat on the shore, you put it on your shoulders and drag it along the shore on yourself. What for? The people you were at that time are long gone. People have changed, the world is moving on. Only a trace of that situation remained in my mind. In addition to this trace, there are no more consequences in reality. You just need to neutralize this old connection. The connections in the mind are stronger the more often the signal passes through them. They are like stalactite icicles, the more water drips and freezes, the bigger the icicle is. Conversely, the less often a person turns to this connection in the mind, the more subtle it becomes on a physiological level, and over time it may even weaken to such an extent that it will be difficult to return it.

    It is always useful to think about the cause of your anger and displeasure. If you identify and remove the cause, then dissatisfaction will also dissolve. The reason is usually some kind of desire. If you understand that a person is the master of his own desires, and not their servant, you can drop this painful desire and with it the cause of dissatisfaction, anger, will go away.

    When obsessive thoughts arise, you need to distract your mind from them. Realize that you are a bus driver, and unnecessary thoughts are passengers without a ticket. We need to stop and let them out. And take their place with the right passengers. You can even say to yourself: “STOP! And now I will think not about empty things, but about really important things for me at the moment. For example, about the upcoming meeting with new pleasant people. About what's important right now. About what I can change right now to make myself happier.”

Leave a Reply