- Why did everyone start to hate the Russians if the U.S. did the same thing in Afghanistan, Iraq?
- What needs to be corrected in the management of Russia first?
- Why did Blaise Pascal become a religious man at the end of his life?
- How do I know if a guy likes you?
- When they say "one generation", how many do they mean?
At some point in my life, I was in a gloomy mood – the salary is small, life is passing, my studies are gored, and so on. But I went to shoot (I'm a videographer), to see a disabled person. The disabled man was a guy a little older than me, by the way, also an operator (former of course), who jumped into the river with a pike while drunk. Yes, so unfortunate that he broke his neck and now nothing below the adam's apple does not work (now everyone who has read it will think twice before jumping into an unfamiliar river). We filmed there as he (a disabled person) works. In his lips he has a pencil with which he switches something on the scoreboard (I think this work was specially designed for people like him). So they shot everything and left. The moment I came out of the entrance, I suddenly realized how happy I was and how well I was doing. I don't think it's worth explaining why I decided that.
Realize that happiness is not a goal, but a process. You cannot achieve spherical happiness in a vacuum for a long, long time, there will always be events that do not cause delight. It is important to see what pleases you and enjoy the moment.�
But I won't say anything about calmness. I'm all for honest displays of emotion. If you want to be angry, be angry, love , love. Also after all happiness to some extent.
There's a thing called the Stockdale paradox. Briefly, during the Vietnam War, Admiral Jim Stockdale was held captive for eight years at the Hanoi Hilton prison Camp. All this time, he believed that sooner or later he would get out of there and he would be able to tell the others about his experience. In fact, this belief supported him and forced him to help his juniors.
Jim Collins, for his book From Good to Great, decided to interview him. The following is a quote from his book:
“- And who didn't survive?
“Oh, that's a simple question,” he said. – Optimists.
Optimists? I don't understand, ” I said, completely baffled.
Optimists. These are the ones who said: “We'll be out of here by Christmas.” Christmas came and went. Then they said, ” We'll be out of here by Easter.” And Easter came and went. Then Thanksgiving and Christmas again. And they were dying. They couldn't stand it.”
Stockdale's paradox says that at any given time, it is necessary to soberly understand the situation without allowing self-deception, but at the same time believe in the final goal.
I've never been an unhappy person, by my standards. but when a wise, kind friend appeared in my life and, accordingly (I don't know how it is with others), new interesting and incredibly informative books with a moderate touch of philosophy, I began to understand that I often respond to other people with constant jokes, often lose my temper, even tiny problems lead, though not for long, but out of balance.. so this same friend clearly explained why this could happen and how to deal with it. and this advice is not from the category of “go to India to visit monks”, “read Robin Sharma” or “learn Zen”. on his recommendation, I began to force myself to pay less attention to small things and, as an example, because of the unwashed dishes of a neighbor, do not swear for half a minute to myself or out loud, expressing indignation in every possible way, but go to wash it myself and not get upset(and forget about it altogether). before I met a friend, I was constantly ill, several times a month, and the banal acute respiratory viral infection sometimes worsened to bronchitis and super-high temperatures. after I stopped being angry, swearing at everything and indiscriminately, taking trouble more calmly, treating people around me more favorably, and calming myself down every time I want to swear, I started a new life without diseases, a life of energy and brightness. I can advise you to at least try it) I hope this post will help someone
You've probably already heard something about the magical law of similarity (“like attracts like”), often also called the “law of attraction”. Nowadays, this law is widely talked about, written and shot popular films. If we simplify the understanding of this law as much as possible in relation to our everyday life, we can say this: everything that happens to us, we attract to ourselves the way of our thoughts. So, if you are in a bad pessimistic mood today or always, see everything around you in gloomy colors and are waiting for some troubles, these very troubles will not be long in coming. Because you called them yourself. A black streak in your life has appeared, because you yourself attracted it to your head.
But how does a person get into a prolonged black streak? It usually starts with a single “random” problem. You can ruin your blouse with an iron, be late for an important meeting, drop a hair dryer on your foot, burn an omelet, etc. The initial problem can arise in any area: everyday life, health, personal life, finances… But what happens next depends on your emotional response to this first problem. If the reaction is acutely negative and prolonged, you will definitely “attract” the next problem to yourself. If a new problem further spoils your mood (“Well, it's all one to one!”), expect another disaster on your head. Etc. Do you remember such “hard days” when you managed to collect a whole collection of troubles and troubles? And for some, such days have grown into weeks, months, and even years! That's how one ruined blouse can eventually lead to loss of health, family and financial ruin. Of course, this sounds somewhat paradoxical and fantastic, but believe me, such chains of negative events also happen. �
This is an excerpt from an excellent article on this topic: “A black streak in life” I strongly recommend reading it.
My answer touches the question only tangentially, but still.
I am 27 years old, and I am currently in such a period that I need to choose the future path of life.
The first option is to start building a career so that in the future, by the age of forty, you can be “successful and self-sufficient” (as is customary in society).
The second option is to continue to live as you want, i.e. to do stupid things, do what you want, not what you need, enjoy life, travel.
At the same time, it is necessary to put the remnants of youth on the altar of the first option, but you can be calm about the future (or not).
On the altar of the second option should be put the possibility of a quiet, self-sufficient adult life (which, again, may not be), but to have fun here and now.
After thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that the fuck knows, in theory, what will be there for me in the future. Maybe now I will enjoy life, but at 40 I will think “what an idiot I was, I should have built a career.”
Or maybe I'll think ,” What a good fellow I was, that I lived my youth the way I wanted, and not the way society dictated.”
My subjective conclusion is live as you want now, because fuck knows what will happen in the future. Do not sacrifice a stormy youth for a stable old age.
This thought helps me to be happy despite all my failures.
Turn on healthy pofigizm. This is your life, as already mentioned, you need to drop all the imposed images and do what really gives you pleasure. A person who has a spark, a true passion, whatever it is, does not pay attention to failures.
The problem with people is often high and unrealistic demands on themselves. They are often vague and vague, contradictory, and physically impossible to implement. The media environment mercilessly rapes people's brains with images of” success”, generating dissatisfaction with life that does not correspond to the synthetic “standard”: being creative, rich, pumped up with the appearance of a model and the mind of a Mask.
As Viktor (videographer) correctly said, a person's life can be objectively full-fledged at the same time. What makes her unhappy is comparing herself to others.
Advertising is a frustration machine designed to feed people's dissatisfaction and stimulate customer demand. Do you want to find peace and harmony? Do not fall for the tricks of marketers who push sugary glossy images of “people from photostocks”. Do not watch TV, butibloggers, unsubscribe from the instagrams of pontorezov, sons of deputies, stars, success coaches (in the worst sense of the word) and other stars who earn money from your frustration. This will already give a very tangible effect of returning pleasure from ordinary simple things.
Well, my favorite triad: physical activity, proper sleep, proper nutrition. These simple components will improve the life of any person.