7 Answers

  1. Communication is a skill that can be developed. If you want to do this, then first decide on your goals – what you need it for. Do you want to make friends, enjoy socializing, or maybe wait for everyone's approval and recognition?

    The following recommendations can help you develop effective communication skills::

    • It's not the words that matter, but the meaning. It is important to understand exactly what you want to say and with what emotional message. But it doesn't really matter what words you use to express this idea. If you try to repeat a pre-memorized text in a conversation, the other person will immediately feel your tension, and you will frantically remember the end of the phrase. Start talking and improvise, trust yourself. The right words will definitely come.
    • If you suddenly have nothing to say or all thoughts have disappeared from your head, your throat is dry, and your ears are buzzing, you can just stand there and smile benevolently, listen. If at this moment, you are asked some question that you are not ready to answer, you can say that you need time to think. Don't be afraid to take a break. At this point, you can come to your senses, it's normal.
    • Try to speak louder than usual. Shy people tend to pronounce words quietly, sometimes unintelligibly. Add confidence to your voice by practicing speaking loudly and clearly at home. You don't need to shout, you just need to consciously train yourself to speak louder than you are used to. This will help others understand you better, and loud speech itself helps relieve tension and gives you confidence.
    • If you like a person, it is pleasant to communicate with them, do not hide your feelings. You can voice your sympathy, say that the person is interesting to you. Many people are afraid to show their emotions, thinking that they may be misinterpreted, hurt, or offended. They are afraid to say compliments, because they may be suspected of some hidden intentions. Say nice things to other people if you like them, notice the good things and voice them out. This way you will endear yourself to others, and it will be easier for you to communicate.
  2. If you tend to be calm, serious and reserved, there is nothing wrong with this. But excessive shyness can really create serious problems. It interferes with making friends with people. ⠀
    First, you may need to review your self-esteem. Do you have a habit of constantly judging yourself and telling yourself that others won't like you or that you have nothing to say? A negative attitude towards yourself only prevents you from becoming more sociable. Therefore, it is healthy and appropriate to love yourself in a reasonable way. ✨⠀
    Start slowly. Try to smile. Learn to maintain eye contact. If you don't know what to say, start asking questions. Just asking people how they're doing or how they're doing at work helps you get to know them better. Of course, people shouldn't feel like they're being interrogated. If a person is reluctant to answer questions, try telling them something about yourself. Choosing the right words requires conscious effort and insight. You might want to expand your vocabulary. Yes
    ,not everyone will immediately respond to your offer to chat. But an awkward pause in a conversation doesn't necessarily mean that the other person doesn't like you and that all your efforts to talk to someone are in vain. Sometimes people just get lost in their own thoughts – or they're just as shy as you are. In such cases, it is useful to give the person a little more time to get used to you. Remember
    , the more you communicate, the easier it will be. And when you have new friends and you feel that others are more disposed towards you – you will see that you have not tried in vain! ✨⠀

  3. The problem can be both in yourself and in the people who surround you. But if you're the problem, here's something that can help you become more open:⠀
    If you think, “I do not know what to talk about,” remember that people rarely remember exactly what we said to them, but they do remember well how they felt in our presence. ⠀
    If you think that others think badly of you, it may very well be you who think badly of them.♦
    ♦ The conversation should not be long, and you do not need to become the soul of the company. Just introduce yourself, ask a few questions, and that's all it takes.♦
    ♦ Watch those who make friends easily: how they behave and what they say when they see a person for the first time.
    People like to share their opinions, so the best way to start a conversation is to ask their opinion about something. If you prepare in advance, you will worry less.
    ♦ ♦ Be friendly, sincere, and smile 😄 🥳 ⠀
    I think it will help you find new friends. As a seventeenth-century poet once said, ” Man is not a lonely island.” 🏝 ️

  4. If you are an unsociable person, what's wrong with that? Each of us is different and beautiful in some ways.

    Well, if you really need to become more sociable, then try to go more to different places with your friends (do you have them?). And in the company it will be easier for you to talk and you will become easier to relate to communication.

    Also, a good option is to communicate in social networks or on dating sites. A stranger, you haven't seen them in person, you don't even need to post your photo. No liability or risk involved.

    So, go for it!

  5. Go work with people where there are a lot of people, where you have to communicate with them a lot. He was an introverted young man, you can't get a word out of him. I got a job in a home appliance store as a sales consultant. At first it was hard, but every day of communication with a bunch of different people gave its own. Now I can communicate with very different people by character and age, I have a subtle sense of who might be interested in what, and in companies I have fun and make friends laugh, the soul of the company.

  6. Carl Gustav Jung was one of the first people to talk about extroverts and introverts. At the same time, he was obviously more sympathetic to introverts, considering them to be deep and meaningful people. I believed that they show themselves as much as possible in communicating with a small circle of close people: they are observant and attentive to the interlocutor. For them, communication is a way of knowing and studying another person. While extroverts are shallow and formulaic, according to Jung. Therefore, it is more difficult for them to build close relationships (for example, they may not understand what to talk about every night with their own wife).

    If you imagine that you can learn sociability, then, first of all, you need to learn (come up with) phrases-templates, create some model of small talk. But then it all comes down to the question of motivation.

    Human motivation works in a very peculiar way. Here, for example, a person wanted to eat, at this moment there are a lot of options to solve this problem. As soon as he makes a decision, he starts to want to remove hunger in this way, that is, the method itself begins to play the role of a motive. For example, it starts to want to go to a cafe and, if this does not work out, then some may be so upset that for a while, in general, they will stop feeling hungry.

    It's about the same with communication. The question “How are you?” is asked because you want to ask this question, but the answer may not be important at all. Roughly speaking, the world of a sociable person is designed in such a way that it is impossible not to communicate in it (for example, you can not approach and get acquainted with a new work colleague).

    In general, it's all about motivation. You can say that an unsociable person does not want to communicate strongly enough. Moreover, the desire that he has merges into endless introspection (energy goes nowhere, thoughts replace actions). The tendency to constant reflection leads to the fact that such a person will consider himself guilty for every unsuccessful attempt to establish contact (“this is not the interlocutor boring and silent, it was I who failed to keep up the conversation”). In this way, the brain will be convinced over and over again that communication is a thankless task. All this, moreover, does not arise from scratch and relies on some innate mechanisms.

    If this tangle can be unraveled, it is only by moving from the particular to the general, and not vice versa. The desire to have friends looks rather strange and illogical, but the desire to make friends/ meet a specific person is very specific and understandable. You need to set such simple and understandable goals and implement them. And perhaps someday the experience gained in this way will, to some extent, transform the person's personality as a whole.

  7. Practice and only practice. Overcome embarrassment and approach strangers. The more often you do this, the easier it is to get to know each other in the future. Of course, you need a broad outlook so that people are interested in communicating with you. Volunteering has helped me a lot. There were about 200 of us for the bandy World Champion. I had to meet a lot of people every day, not only volunteers, but also ordinary people who came to watch the game, answer their questions, and help. Take part in mass events and flash mobs. Go to events based on your interests, and it's even easier to find a topic to talk about with strangers.

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