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Alas, I have never been able to play games, and I continue to be unable to play games, when you deliberately limit “tons of tenderness” to the person you love so that he keeps in good shape in your relationship, does not sit on your neck, reaches out to you, etc.
In 1955, Ashley I. Fisher conducted an experiment on puppies. His team divided the pups into three groups. Pups from the first group were treated kindly every time they approached a researcher, members of the second group were punished for approaching scientists, and pups from the third group were treated randomly: kindly or punished. The researchers found that the third group was most attached to scientists.
I understand all this, this mechanism, but I can't help it. And I was encouraged by people who are very reputable to me, who told me that a large amount of good attitude will definitely be appreciated. And if someone does not appreciate it, then the question is-why do you need such a person and a relationship with him?
With consequences: start communicating with the person to the maximum. As you learn more and more about it, your sensitivity to it will drop. But not every individual is ready to accept the fact that a person “who idolizes him”will appear in his life. It will look like you are a fan of it.
No consequences: control yourself. It's hard, I don't dispute it, but it's the most effective way to be undetected. The more flow, the more a person will feel needed. If it concerns correspondence, then before reading the message, do something (watching a movie, reading a book, go to the apartment of that old lady and ask what kind of loaf to buy her), answer after a while. So you give the person a fake job, because of which you will respond more restrained.
I still get the feeling that there's more to your ton than just tenderness.
When I fell head over heels in love in October, walking around with a smile 24/7 and yeah, it was insanely difficult to contain the flow of happiness. But you just need to put a strict ban on yourself for mercy. Even if you really want to be gentle, you need to follow the flow of your mimmi and reprimand your friends or cat, and not the object of adoration)
Interesting question.: -))))) Probably nothing. :-)))) If a person is cute to you and you are in love, then that's all, you want to pour out these tons of tenderness and you almost can't stop. This happens involuntarily. Of course. Naturally.
And then the problem arises, something is there, but there is nowhere to put them, alas, especially if you feel that it is somehow inappropriate to pour them out. And these tons interfere internally. So I found a way out for myself-to write poetry. It helps me. And creativity is great. And it seems easier. Yes, and you can say it even better in verse than in any prose. So try it! :-))))