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How to communicate? Just like with everyone else. A closed person should not feel false and understand that you are doing something atypical for yourself. Insincerity such people can smell a mile away, because they are naturally endowed with observation. If they do not go to the contact, then it is completely useless to attract them with something. Believe me, they are in no way “flirting with you” – no and no. A separate question about those who play “closed people” with a fine mental organization, so I don't know what to do with them
The most important thing: don't overdo it. Imagine being harassed by someone who's handing out flyers on the street: you'll probably recoil and try to leave as soon as possible. And for a closed person, this will generally be a great shock, even if the advertiser, in fact, approached with all his heart and with the best intentions.
Just show that you are there, that you are ready to listen, that you are interested in his life (oh, do not send fifteen messages every day with the text “How are you?”). Do not push too hard, do not try to occupy yourself all at once, become the center of his world, you are still unlikely to succeed.
Be prepared to wait. It is better to spend a little more time, then there is a chance that you will gradually become “your own”, you will be opened up and let into your life.
Try to win them over,to interest them,I myself am such a person, but without a fine mental organization, ordinary,it's just hard for me to communicate with people and I don't want to,I feel comfortable alone,no one bothers,I don't get any nonsense,I don't get into the soul, I'm selfish and can betray a person,I love only myself.
To be honest, I find it surprising that closed people want to learn. I think I'm about to get caught up, but you know what, think ten times before you get involved in who knows what. If a person is so “closed” – then, most likely, the matter is in his personal pens/complexes/other devils. Do you need it?
I am personally repelled by people with this behavior, but if you still want to get to know this person, then I can assume that he still makes contact or at least expresses his desire in this. In this case, try to carefully (although you can even very directly) show your good intentions and predisposition. Maybe the person is afraid of you specifically, your assessment, in this case, you should convey to him your good attitude and the fact that you will not judge him in any way.
There is another option – to open up to yourself as much as possible, to interest people so that they can see that you don't seem to pose a danger.
Another option, if the “closed” person is interested , is to put the question quite clearly, that is, to drop the games of “come on, tell me something” and say that if he intends to continue to communicate somehow, then he should take the reins, since you have already tried as hard as you can, and the activity of two people is necessary for contact. Well, this is a last resort and with the specified condition.
In other cases-seriously, think about it, is it worth it?)
It all depends on why it is so closed. �It if anyone does not communicate because of his shyness, �that is one thing, �there are �who do not want to communicate with people just because �I think �that they don't deserve it, �too stupid. �And such people are quite arrogant and arrogant, �and they don't always show it.�
In general, there can be a lot of prychin among unsociable people, and the best tactic in most cases is gradual, smooth and unobtrusive communication. �You should start with some phrase �addressed to this person. �And you don't even have to force him to answer something in response, �you can also ask him a rhetorical question a couple of times to start with, and without waiting for him to answer, they will go about their business. So you will not put pressure on an unsociable person by waiting for an answer, but also show your interest in them .
Try to help him, �if he needs help, �but only unobtrusively. And don't try to teach him or point out his mistakes.�
If a person is really interested in you, “then they will definitely show it,” but if not, “then think for yourself,” whether it's you or the approach is wrong.
If a person is closed, then, most likely, he often encountered such a phenomenon as deception and betrayal. It's hard for him to trust people. Therefore, he tries to minimize all contacts. Another point is if a person is simply not interested in the company of people. In both cases, it is useless to impose and get into the soul.
I don't agree with the idea that people don't want to communicate because they don't need you. perhaps this person is too “attached ” to the people who enter his life, and he is really so vulnerable and sensitive, like a three-year-old kid who does not expect trouble, does not believe that an adult can deceive him, betray, humiliate, etc.
in my case, the closest people (these two lucky people) entered my life almost forcibly, for example, a person commented on every post from my social networks or started a conversation about an event. for the most part, I ignored it, but once or twice it really became interesting to talk about distant topics – philosophy, religion, etc. We have been friends for eight years, and this is the closest friend, but still there are “closed” topics that we do not discuss.
My friend came to our office once or twice a week and chatted sweetly about something, talked about herself, and asked for advice. At first, it infuriated me, I tried to keep conversations to a minimum, abruptly cutting her off, for example. But gradually delved into her life, soaked, you can say. We see each other once a year or two, but at any time we can write off and discuss the most important things without preamble. she knows that I will not betray her, I will not use it against her, on the contrary, I will try to help, and I will empathize so that there is a solution that is really objective.
Usually, you are closed only for those people who are not interesting to you, or to put it mildly, “not your format”, hence the obvious conclusion-become interesting for this person(I request – it is unlikely to work)).In fact, this task is quite difficult because naturally such a person is rarely interested in philistine topics such as “how Zenit played”, ” Kim Kardashian did this!”, ” do you like fishing?”, “Look what I cooked for my husband”, ” did you hear what's going on in Ukraine?”
All the answers say the same thing – the person is closed, because something is wrong with him, but you, beauty, can reveal it. But maybe the person is closed because they are not interested in talking to you. Like, for example, an adult at a children's holiday-you need to come, but you don't want to talk about life with a six-year-old.
I like such people, most often they are cleaner than most (in every sense). More naive. They keep their childhood to themselves longer, and do not harm other people. At the same time, they are very vulnerable and their trust is difficult to earn. But they are the most loyal, do not betray. They also have more complexes. Be honest with them, immediately announce your intentions. If you like such a person, then communication will go, if not, it's useless to try.
I don't know if they're all like that or not. Maybe my whole opinion is an illusion.
Gaining the trust of such a person is a very difficult task, it requires a lot of effort, attention, patience, understanding, time, and, most importantly, a sincere desire. You should understand that the soul of an introvert (let's use this term, although the question is formulated differently) is very fragile, so do not start just out of interest, like budo throwing a stone at an animal in a zoo – you will make a person very painful, and he will close in his cozy world even more.
Watch him, find out what he likes to do, how he spends his free time. Maybe you know his friends, see the page in social networks. A lot can be said about what kind of music he likes, what movies he watches, etc.
I had a boy I knew who was very private. If you say “hi” to him, he will look at you for about five seconds with an expression on his face, as if you are squeezing his heart with unsterile hands. I asked him to give me some good songs, because I found out that he is a big music lover. Word for word, it turned out that this is a fun and good person, so it's always worth the risk:)
The main thing is to control your “pressure” on the person so that he does not feel like a cage, respect his personal space and enjoy communicating with him, in no case pretend – everyone will feel it. Well, if you feel that you are not welcome in any way-accept it. As you know, someone else's soul is darkness, and no amount of tips and tricks will change this. So first, just think: do you really need it?