2 Answers

  1. Go to the sea or go to the mountains 🙂 Travel, connect with different positive people, give and receive energy from them. When the external world shakes our harmony with its transience of events, stress, and criticism, the same external world can restore it. But the road to harmony begins with a step towards changing your thoughts and attitude to what is happening.

  2. Here's an article I found on a psychologist's website. It's called ” Avoid Inner Harmony.” I'm just sharing an article, maybe it will be useful for someone:)

    Let's start with the definition of the word “harmony” – ” a harmonious combination, mutual correspondence (objects, phenomena, parts of the whole, qualities, etc.)”. There are no objects inside a person (normally), but all phenomena, parts of the whole, qualities, and especially” etc. ” — in abundance. A person in his inner world (we use such a clumsy, but capacious term) is a very complex being. A lot of different interests, hobbies, drives, motives, goals, desires – their name is legion, their darkness, they are innumerable.

    Of course, all this diversity is not a “harmonious combination” or “mutual correspondence”. On the contrary, there are many contradictions in the inner world of a person. A complex man, wonderfully complex. And this, by the way, is good, because it is precisely from the solution of such contradictions that personal development is born, that is, the development of new techniques, actions, the development of qualities and a worldview.

    However, many people often experience this complexity very hard and try to avoid it. In other words, achieve inner harmony. In fact, the desire for inner harmony is the desire to eliminate its internal complexity, to remove all internal contradictions and inconsistencies. It seems that if there is a “harmonious combination, mutual correspondence” in the inner world of a person, then life will improve dramatically. Whatever it is. This life will be dramatically simplified, but can we say that it will get better?…

    Do you know who is the most harmonious person? A maniac or a fanatic. Here everything is on the level-a harmonious combination, mutual correspondence of phenomena, qualities, aspirations and all that stuff. Does life improve for such people? As for me — the question is not even rhetorical.

    Moreover, the desire to avoid contradictions and achieve harmony generates such a phenomenon as cognitive dissonance (not the one that the ignorant write about on the Internet, but the real one, tearing apart), which leads a person to various erroneous actions and, in some cases, to super-action (i.e., causing harm that is disproportionate to the received).

    Because of cognitive dissonance, people do a lot of stupid things in all areas of their lives — and only in order, in fact, to achieve a harmonious combination and get rid of dissonance. That is, to put it quite bluntly, people create a fair number of problems for themselves precisely by achieving inner harmony (albeit a temporary achievement and local, but still precisely because of it).

    So, striving for inner harmony is harmful. Inner harmony itself is the way to become maniacs or fanatics. And then what should I do? The answer on the surface is to learn to calmly relate to the complexity of your inner world and not suffer from it.

    The fact is that such suffering is the result of not being able to deal with complexity. I emphasize that the problem is not that the inner world of a person is complex, but that a person does not know how to deal with this complexity, does not know how to live in it.

    Here's a simple example. I recently had an important meeting. I was looking forward to this meeting, but I wasn't sure of its good outcome. There is a lack of a harmonious combination — on the one hand, I want a meeting, on the other hand, I am afraid that it will go badly. Obvious disharmony. There would be harmony if I waited for the meeting and at the same time wasn't afraid. Or, say, I wouldn't have expected it and was afraid that it would happen. And in my case, it was-as it was, disharmonious.

    Because I was afraid of failure, I began to worry — my heart began to beat faster, my mouth went dry. In general, the normal mobilization response of human physiology. But then the most unpleasant thing began — I began to worry about the excitement. They say, oh, how so, do not worry, and then suddenly it will be noticeable, then everything will definitely go to waste, in no case can you give yourself away… Well, and other nonsense.

    Such excitement is a consequence of the complexity of my inner world, a consequence of the presence of various phenomena in it. And if I wasn't an expert on the head, I would continue to worry and, perhaps, like many, would begin to suffer because of the disharmony of my inner world. Maybe I would also go to Yandex with the request “How to achieve inner harmony?”

    Fortunately, after a minute, I caught myself and stopped worrying about worrying. How? I just remembered that my physiological excitement is a normal mobilization reaction, and that this reaction does not prevent me from thinking and talking at all. And my psychological excitement about physiological excitement is the usual sloppiness of thinking, a bad habit, like biting my nails. You just have to stop doing it. Let the complexity remain — you just need to stop suffering for it.

    As we can see, there is nothing fatal in the presence of people with different aspirations and desires. Well, yes, a person can simultaneously want to go to work and play tanchiki. It's not a tragedy, it's just a place to turn your head on. I turned it on, thought for a while, made the right choice — and went to work without any torment. The desire to play remained, nothing terrible, just we will return to it later, the person decided. And everyone is happy.

    Do you think this is difficult to learn? Not at all. A mentally healthy person who independently uses the Internet learns to turn on the head in about ten hours (even with a psychologist, even individually according to special materials).

    Of course, about a hundred more hours are required for the steady consolidation of the skill, but the first ten are already enough to learn to more or less cope with the complexity of your inner world.

    Let's summarize.

    1. People do not know how to cope with the presence of multidirectional aspirations, so they are driven and strive to eradicate this very multidirectionality from themselves.

    2. They call such eradication the search for inner harmony.

    3. A person who has no contradictions in the inner world and all aspirations are directed in one direction is a maniac or a fanatic (or both at the same time).

    4. The way out is to develop the ability to cope with the complexity of your inner world.

    5. This skill is developed relatively quickly — in about one hundred and ten hours, of which working with a psychologist takes only ten, and the rest is just an exercise and implementation in everyday practice.

    In general, you don't need to get any easier. You can remain complex, multi-faceted and interesting, and at the same time have more happiness in your life.

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