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Good afternoon.
Some thoughts and memories cause uncomfortable feelings. Because of this, the idea arises that if they are removed, everything will get better, life will start playing. Every thought is an electrical impulse. It has a specific function and is an integral part of the whole human body.
Tension arises rather from the resistance of thought. Because of the idea that just because it's bad/wrong/terrible/shameful, it shouldn't be in your head. The person begins to struggle with their own memories or fantasies, which the body does not welcome and there is anxiety.
Try to do the following::
separate yourself from your thoughts. It's just an electric current in the head in the form of different voices and pictures. Let them flow freely as they come without you trying to get rid of them. There are no bad thoughts, there is a bad attitude to them;
allow thoughts and memories to visit your mind, regardless of the content. Take a step towards them and bring any pop-up image to its logical conclusion.
Just you are always fixated on one thought and can not move away from it, you need to engage yourself in some important matter. One word to distract yourself from bad and unnecessary thoughts.
From the point of view of Gestalt therapy, obsessive memories are incomplete gestalts. Something about the situation that you are remembering did not satisfy you, did not like it, but you did not say, did not respond to it, the tension was not discharged and now lives in you. To make it go away, the gestalt must be completed.�
It is difficult to do this on your own, but you can try to help yourself a little. “Put” in front of you the person with whom the situation is related. The person himself is not needed, just imagine that he is in front of you. Tell him everything you wanted to say then, but didn't say. If you have strong feelings – anger, resentment – if there are tears, then the process has started. Keep talking. Shout if you need to. You can even hit a “person” – for example, with a pillow on the chair on which he “sits”. Do this until you feel satisfied. If it works, it should be easier.
However, it is better to complete gestalts with a specialist. This is more productive. The therapist will help you overcome the resistance that you will definitely have, help you find the right person for whom you have not completed the reaction, exactly in the situation that you obsessively recall and which can be very confusing, as well as unearth the origins of this memory and work with them too. This is so that you don't get into similar situations in the future.
Fill your head with other memories, do something that will make you proud, find your ikigai and start striving for it. Fall in love with yourself, and then with someone )
The mechanisms of forgetting are not yet fully understood by scientists. As a rule, it is impossible to take something and forget it consciously.�
Sometimes they give different advice depending on the situation: fall in love again, do what you love, and so on. But it all depends on the specific situation.