How to get rid of the influence of people on the psychological state, mood? I'm a very sensitive person, I don't know how to deal with it

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  1. Anya, I have IT too))

    1. Vulnerability, fine sensitivity, sharp perception of nuances in communication-makes you a good natural psychologist of the intuitive type. (Here, “intuition” is the ability to notice details sensitively; of course, these guesses must be checked later.)

    If you have been very dependent on how others treat you since childhood, the ability to recognize shades of color is developed as a defensive reaction.

    And, along with excessive anxiety, the ability develops without any knowledge of psychotechnics to quickly establish trusting relationships with others, at the level of “soul to soul speaks”. People are drawn to them for two reasons:

    a) obvious harmlessness (will not bite),

    b) people like us have an increased need for good warm personal relationships, we implicitly send out the signal ” I'm a vest, I'm a vest, if something happens, I'll sympathize, you can cry!”))

    All I mean is that acute sensitivity to the opinion and attitude of other people is not “bad” in itself; people who have this as a natural characterological feature often find themselves in helping professions: medicine, pedagogy, psychology, etc.

    For example, I was an obstetrician-gynecologist for 7 years, a practical psychologist for 15 years… By the way, I was engaged in personal sales for 3 years (+ 15 years – already as a seller of my services: corporate trainings); and people of our warehouse can be excellent salesmen. We don't have to be snotty, but honest, ethical sales are going very well.We really care about our customers, you can see that they believe us. Only sales techniques should be known well, of course , and this is just like literacy in any profession.

    1. Of course, such high openness must be accompanied by high sustainability.

    Global advice: you have the inclinations of a natural psychologist, and you have the cards in your hands! All practical psychology is exclusively about how to influence yourself and other people (and academic psychology is about how to measure different parameters))) So master it: social and psychological trainings, books, you can also get personal consultations, if you have the money for it. For starters, read the book “Self – Confidence Training”by Manuel Smith, – what you need, – �http://www.koob.ru/smith/ (here it has a different name).

    That is, in a sense, ALL practical psychology is the answer to your question.

    If you answer quite the point:

    Understanding that

    there is no correct one.

    Neither in the field of morals, nor in the field of life choices.

    Any choice has its pros and cons.

    Not all the pros and cons of the choice can be foreseen. But for sure, this is YOUR life.

    You know, when I was young, I was confronted with the fact that some good person advised me: do this. I did. Then there were all sorts of disadvantages (inevitable with ANY choice), and the same person asked me in the spirit: why did you do that?.. And I bit my tongue, which I wanted to say indignantly, confused: you advised me to do it yourself!.. Because it would be a complete kindergarten.

    Once a couple of such episodes were enough for me, to my credit.

    “They advise you to live.”

    This doesn't mean not listening to advice, it's about people giving advice based on THEIR experience and THEIR understanding of your situations. It's like a doctor guiding a patient. You are yesterday's student, and in difficult situations it is very correct to consult with masters and consultants of other specializations. But all final decisions about the management of your patient are made ONLY by you, and ONLY you are responsible.

    So it is with your life, and with any choices in your life, small and large.

    That is, the main basis for sustainability amid the storm of many different opinions about us by different people is the adoption of a practical philosophy of confident behavior.

    Fritz Perls, the creator of the gestalt approach in psychotherapy, put it this way:

    “I didn't come to this world to meet your expectations. And you didn't come to this world to match mine.”

    My grandfather, Grigory Solomonovich Dvorochkin, who went through the war from 1941 to 1944, starting as an 18-year-old private and ending as a guard sergeant, had no idea about Perls. But the only sermon I ever heard from him was:

    “Live with your head. Let it be wrong, but with your own.”

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