2 Answers

  1. A difficult question – there are different situations.

    In general, in fact, I can say that aggression is not good and not bad in itself. The question is how you apply it. If you are not satisfied with something, you are dissatisfied with something, you want to change something or feel threatened-aggression will be a natural reaction that will allow you to mobilize your resources to achieve these changes or repel the threat.

    On the other hand, aggression can also occur as a result of prolonged suppression of one's own thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

    In any case, to hide, not to show aggression is, at least, dishonest in relation to the one to whom you feel it, as a maximum, a great way to burn your own nervous system and eventually break down on someone else.

    To keep yourself in control and not cross the boundaries beyond which you begin to cause harm to a person (moral, not to mention physical), you need to express your thoughts and feelings, without waiting for them to overwhelm you and start burning from the inside or burst out in an explosion.

    “I now feel a strong urge to start yelling so that the windows and your eardrums will burst,” said in a flat voice, but without a hint of a joke – a great way to express your aggression, without turning it into (self)a destructive weapon, let the person understand how you feel, and give them and yourself the opportunity to calmly deal with it. Not to mention that such an unusual statement of the question may well defuse the situation and just laugh kindly at yourself;)

  2. Good afternoon. To solve your problem, you should reformulate the question. Instead of “how to control yourself?” it is worth asking the question “how to change your beliefs?”. Why? Because then you will not have to control yourself and suppress the feelings that have flared up, for example, anger.

    Well, how do you change your beliefs? Psychotherapy and psychological flexibility techniques. If you still have any questions , you are welcome to consult us.

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