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  1. “She is insolent,” the enemy will say. “She's pushy,” a friend will say.

    But it's the same thing.

    “She's a rag,” the enemy will say. “She's soft, kind, and accommodating,” a friend will say.

    And it's the same thing.

    Why look at yourself through the eyes of the enemy? I teach my girls that no matter what mistake they make, even if it turns out that they really let someone down, the FIRST feeling for themselves is warm sympathy.

    It's like Our Father, like Ave Maria, like Yoshkin's cat!!

    Our softness is a wonderful wing. It's crazy to saw it off. The task is to build up the second one to it.�

    “Selfishness!” the enemy will say.

    “Maturity,” a friend will say; “maturity: in any situation of choice, immediately ask yourself,” What do I want MORE for MYSELF? ” and directly tell others about your choice.”

    We just know that people won't mess with us if we firmly say “No”. And everything is exactly the opposite. It's impossible to find you when there's no border anywhere: yes, yes, yes, and then others fall into us, unable to find support, and get angry, and bullshit. – And when “no” – you are, and a normal relationship with you becomes possible.


    Very scary at first. Someone will fall off. But beyond that is the world. Happy. A normal adult relationship. Loving relationships – including-are based on this…

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