One Answer

  1. Nervousness and jitters, this is the feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and just worry about all sorts of little things. It is important to understand that nervousness has both psychological and physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is due to the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, to the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to worry, an overestimation of the significance of certain events, a sense of self-doubt and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

    We start to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, life-threatening, or for one reason or another significant, responsible. I think that the threat to life, not so often looms before us, ordinary people. Therefore, I consider situations of the second kind to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. The fear of failure, of looking inappropriate in front of people — all this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, this has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but also to understand and realize certain things, let's start by understanding the nature of nervousness.the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. It is more likely just a certain mental mechanism, fixed in the system of habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why eliminate it? But because when you're nervous:

    You have reduced thinking abilities and find it harder to concentrate, which can worsen a situation that requires extreme strain on your mental resources.

    You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, and gestures, which can have a bad effect on responsible negotiations or dates.

    Nervousness contributes to a faster accumulation of fatigue and tension, which is bad for your health and well-being.

    If you are often nervous, it can lead to various diseases (meanwhile, a very significant part of diseases arise from problems of the nervous system)

    You worry about small things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable things in your life

    You are subject to bad habits: smoking, alcohol, as you need to relieve some tension

    Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost concentration. So we will work with you on this.

    Think about all those events that make you nervous: the boss calls you, you pass an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, evaluate the degree of their importance for you, but not separately, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of a life-long skirmish on public transport or on the road, and is it so terrible to be late for work and be nervous about it?

    Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, take a break from the current moment. I am sure that from this angle, many things that make you nervous will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, turn into mere trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

    Such a psychological setup helps a lot to stop being nervous about anything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, because the body, despite all the arguments of reason, can react in its own way. So let's move on and I'll explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation just before, during, and after an event.

    Now we are inexorably approaching some important event, during which our intelligence, concentration and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will reward us handsomely, otherwise we will lose. This event can be the final interview for the job you dream of, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this should be done so that this state does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

    And you realize that an important event is waiting for you, but no matter how significant it is, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: you do not need to dramatize and overestimate everything. Just from the very importance of this event comes the need to be calm and not worry. This is too demanding an event to let my nervousness get in the way, so I'll be focused and focused and do my best for it!

    Now we bring our thoughts to calmness, remove the jitters. First, immediately put all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm the fuss and not think about anything. Release your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

    Simple breathing exercises.

    It should be done like this:

    inhale for 4 counts (or 4 pulse beats, first you need to feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)

    keep your breath in 2 counts/punches

    exhale for 4 counts / beats

    don't breathe for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats-all from the beginning

    In short, as the doctor says: breathe — do not breathe. 4 seconds inhale — 2 seconds delay — 4 seconds exhale — 2 seconds delay.

    If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper breaths,then do the cycle not for 4/2 seconds, but 6/3 or 8/4, and so on.

    Only you need to breathe through the diaphragm, that is, through the stomach!During times of stress, we breathe rapidly through the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, and bringing you into a state of calm.

    During the exercise, keep your attention focused only on your breathing! There shouldn't be any more thoughts! This is the most important thing. And then after 3 minutes you will feel that you have relaxed and calmed down. The exercise is done no more than 5-7 minutes, according to the sensations. With regular exercises, breathing practice not only helps you relax in the here and now, but also generally puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercises. So I highly recommend it.

    You can see my video on how to properly do diaphragmatic breathing at the end of this article. In the video, I talk about how to use breathing to cope with panic. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and take control of yourself.

    Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article how to learn to relax.

    Okay, so we're ready. But the time has already come for the event itself. Next, I will talk about how to behave during the event, so as not to be nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Leave a Reply