2 Answers

  1. I would suggest that you start by recognizing that you are personally responsible for every decision you make. You and no one else. I know that this is difficult, unpleasant and unusual, especially since there are many examples of ” objective influence of external forces of an irresistible force.” However, this recognition is the first step to gaining self-confidence.

    Then I would suggest that you pay attention to the fact that you ALWAYS have the freedom to choose. Even in the most extreme and rapidly developing circumstances, YOU may not act as programmed by your genes, upbringing, environment, or experience. You have the capacity for self-awareness (to see yourself from the outside), imagination (to imagine how you might react to a particular circumstance), conscience (the ability to compare your plan of action with your principles, goals, and inner beliefs), and the power of independent will that will help you make any decision you make.

    The next step is to change the paradigm of “self-confidence is a property” to “self-confidence is a skill, a habit”. We all have a certain starting level of self-confidence, as well as a certain height, muscle mass index, reaction speed. And just as athletes train and develop their innate abilities, we can develop our self-confidence.

    Self-confidence is a steady skill of trusting your own words and decisions. The exercise to develop it is simple, like push-ups, squats and jogging, and also does not require any equipment and expensive accessories. It consists in taking on obligations and fulfilling them.

    That's all. Just start making promises to yourself that are at first as simple and achievable as possible, but those that will require some effort and a small change in your usual life. This can be a promise to read 5 pages of scientific literature a day, do push-ups 10 times every morning, or start pouring two spoons of sugar into your tea instead of three.

    By accepting and fulfilling the small commitments you've made, you'll start to feel like your words match your actions, which means you can trust them. This means that you are able to make and fulfill more serious commitments, and over time, not only to yourself, but also to other people. By forming the habit of always fulfilling your commitments and never promising anything you won't do, you will not only gain confidence in yourself, but also become a person in whom other people will be confident.

  2. I am ready to give an alternative question: “Why do you need to stop doubting your abilities and gain confidence?”.

    Alas, we are all people whose role varies far,far from the “facets” that permeate our subculture (the richest, the smartest, the first place in the championship, was included in the Forbes list). Calling yourself omnipotent (they say, I can do everything I want, the main thing is to believe in yourself) you overestimate your expectations from yourself, which in the future, if you do not actually reach the world heights (and if you still doubt your abilities, then I already doubt your competitiveness in the field you are striving for), you will simply be disappointed. And it's good if you're 30, not 60.�

    Be realistic in your thoughts, a person in life at best completely masters one certain area. Understand for yourself that no matter who you are at this stage, your level is still mediocre, and you need to constantly develop it. Live with the idea that you are an ordinary person who does not have to rule the whole world at the end of his life, but at the same time it would be nice for him to live at an above-average level.

    Only by living in the present can you build your future.

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