5 Answers

  1. You can't say better than the classics…

    1 .Dale Carnegie: Stay busy.It's the cheapest medicine on earth — and one of the most effective. The secret of our unhappiness is that we have too much leisure to think about whether we are happy or not.

    2 .Forrest Gump: To go into the future, you need to get rid of the past.

    3. Dale Carnegie: Live in the “Compartment” of today

    In the spring of 1871, a young man picked up a book and read seventeen words that completely changed his future. When he was a medical student practicing at a general hospital in Montreal, he was concerned about the following issues:: how to pass final exams, where to go to work, how to organize your practice, how to earn a living.

    The seventeen words that this young medical student read in 1871 helped him become the most famous therapist of his time. He founded the world-renowned Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. He became a Royal Professor of Medicine at Oxford — the highest rank that can be awarded to a medical scientist in the British Empire. He was raised to the rank of noble by the King of England. When he died, two huge volumes were released, containing 1,466 pages, which told the story of his life.

    His name was Sir William Osler. Below are seventeen words written by Thomas Carlyle that helped him free his life from anxiety: “Our main task is not to look into the foggy distance of the future, but to act now, in the direction that we can see.”

    Forty-two years later, on a quiet spring evening with tulips blooming in university park, Sir William Osler addressed the students of Yale University. It is believed, he said, that a man like him — a professor at four universities and the author of a popular book-must have a “brain of a special quality.” This is not true, he said. It turns out that even his closest friends knew that he had “the most mediocre abilities.”

    What is the secret of its success? He said that he was successful because he wanted to live in a compartment of today, impenetrably fenced off from other days. What did he mean by that? A few months before his speech at Yale University, Sir William Osler crossed the Atlantic Ocean in a large ocean liner, on which the captain, standing on the bridge, could press a button, and immediately the noise of mechanisms could be heard, and individual compartments of the ship began to hermetically close so that water would not enter them. “Each of you,” Dr. Osler told these students, ” is a much more remarkable piece of machinery than a giant liner, and when you come into life, you go on a longer voyage. I insist that you learn how to control the machine you are given and protect it from storms, that is, isolate its individual compartments in time. Only then will you ensure the safety of your journey. Stand on the bridge and ensure that at least the main bulkheads of the ship are in working order. Press the button and you will hear how, at every stage of your life, iron doors isolate the past — the dead yesterdays-from you. Push another button, and the metal curtain isolates the future-the unborn tomorrows. Then you are completely safe — for today!.. Isolate the past! Let the dead past bury its dead… Isolate the yesterdays that lit up the path to the grave for fools. The weight of the future, added to the weight of the past that you take on in the present, makes even the strongest stumble in the path. Isolate the future as hermetically as the past… The future is in the present… there is no tomorrow. The day of saving man is today. Pointless waste of energy, mental suffering, nervous anxiety constantly follow on the heels of a person who is worried about the future… So, close all the ship's compartments tightly, separate the bow and stern parts of the liner with iron bulkheads. Cultivate the habit of living in a space of time separated from the past and future by ” hermetic bulkheads.”

  2. Oh, to do this, you need to harden your soul thoroughly and become imbued with the awareness of your own infallibility! Then the conscience, and it is she who tosses and turns, will become completely sluggish and cease to disturb the memory. The process itself is quite simple-I remembered how something was done wrong-mentally shake yourself like a dog coming out of water, and stay on different sides of the spray – You are here, everything bad is out there somewhere… With particularly intrusive thoughts, you can do a more refined thing: reread Poe's short story “The Barrel of Amontillado”, mentally go through the whole process and complete each such memory with the words ” Rest in peace!”

    A smile is a smile, but every smile has a bit of cynicism in it…

    All the best! Good luck!

  3. The reason is that you want to relive that unpleasant moment again and again in order to harden up to it. I.e., repeatedly experiencing “pain” dulls it. For example, if you start pouring ice water on yourself, then after a while you will feel less and less cold from it. The body will just get used to it. Another reason and a likely method of dealing with that. what you described is replaying the situation in a different way, as you would have thought it should have happened. I.e. if you are offended by someone's words or actions, imagine that this person says and acts differently, as you yourself would think he should have said or acted. Also, imagine what you would do if you were someone who hurt or hurt you. Maybe you will realize that you yourself could have made a mistake in his place.

    PS It is very difficult to advise something specific without knowing the specifics.

  4. Anna, as practice shows, in such pity for a person there is some benefit or something, I can't find the right word. In addition, the usual state of experiencing pain, familiar and already native.

    If there are no mental processes that you need to contact a specialist, you understand that you can cope on your own, try to find meaning and benefit in self-pity, in sacrifice. Why are you going through this all over again? What does it give you?

    If you find the answer to these questions, you can move on.�

    The path is not the closest.�

    Perhaps, after you stop feeling sorry for yourself, you can find valuable experience in what caused you unpleasant experiences that will help you develop further.

    But as long as you look from the inside, not free from the experience of pain, the experience is difficult to see.

    You need to get out of the situation and look as if from the outside.

    It is difficult to try new things, it is much easier to experience the familiar, it is familiar.�

    Try to write a story or two about what happened to you, and what lesson you take from it.�

    And good luck changing your pity for love and personal development!

  5. I suffer from it myself…and how to get rid of this-I will not put my mind to it because all that was advised here is the completed stage.

    Psychologists/psychotherapists/antidepressants-it was also there.

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