5 Answers

  1. From the point of view of gestalt therapy, which I don't really like, but which I own and sometimes use-you just “closed the gestalt”, “brought” the situation to a logical and justified, from your point of view, ” completion.�

    Naturally, you feel satisfied: as J. S. Bach said, “I hate underplayed melodies”) From the point of view of maintaining mental health, gestalts should be “closed”…

    Another question is how to close it. Depending on your worldview, “closing” can be either a reciprocal “slap in the face” or turning the other cheek. But you asked me not to moralize…)

  2. Pavel correctly clarified that it is important by what means revenge was taken. if you took the life of an innocent creature or mistreated it to spite the abuser, was the revenge worth it? if the funds were “humane”, then everything is in order.

    some argue that it is not necessary to respond to evil with evil, thus multiplying it in the world, but, in my opinion, revenge is an instrument of justice, with the help of it the offender realizes all the pain that he first caused you. perhaps he will even draw some conclusions, think about it and change, and, perhaps, not (with the greatest probability), but the need of your soul will now be satisfied. so I think that revenge is quite normal, because the person who allowed the initially obscene attitude towards you will know the same and feel the same state, which will equalize you.

  3. If you reformulate the question more harshly: I hurt another person, I hurt them, I liked it and I'm going to continue, is that okay?

    You are asking a question to society. You need the society's response. So try to imagine a society in which everyone does the same thing — they hurt each other, enjoy it, and don't try to control themselves in any way. How much, in your opinion, is such a society suitable for life? How long can it last until people torture each other?

  4. Let psychologists tell you about the norm, and I will talk in the framework of “constructive-non-constructive”.�

    My position is that in some cases a retaliatory strike is justified and necessary. But it all depends on the situation, methods and the ratio of damage suffered and compensation received. And now about your situation.

    According to your comments, you broke up with a girl and took revenge for the heartache caused by writing to her current boyfriend about the fact that she confessed her love to you when she was already dating him. By doing so, you get high. In this particular case, your line is destructive. And it is destructive specifically for you.

    You are currently an emotionally dependent person. You didn't rework the offense and let go of the situation. Good revenge – “took revenge and forgot”, and you hung up. The consequence of constructive retribution is liberation from a sense of injustice that could not otherwise have been obtained. It's good if you savor this feeling and go your own way. It's bad if you get hooked and continue to do nasty things to your ex.

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