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It depends on what kind of pain you have in mind. If you are afraid of causing physical pain, then this is normal, so you are not a sadist. As for causing heartache, I think it's a little more complicated. In principle, a normal and adequate person will not intentionally cause heartache to people, and even more so to their loved ones. But there are exceptions: let's say a relationship with a loved one has reached a dead end, and you understand that it would be better for you to break up, but this feeling (“I will hurt him – I will not break up”) will rather interfere with both you and him. So in this case, I think, you need to find the strength to overcome this shame and make a strong-willed decision.