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Forgiveness is a change in one's own inner emotional attitude to an act. Forgiveness in Russian comes from the word “just”. It was “difficult”, the emotional charge was removed-it became “simple”. Simplified it. I was forgiven.
Forgiveness itself has only one goal, and this goal is deeply personal, individual, and yours: to remove your own negative emotional experiences caused by the action of another. If you forgive yourself, then by your actions.
No external manifestations and your subsequent actions do not directly follow from the fact of forgiveness.�
The choice between” Forgiven and forgotten, “” Forgiven and avenged, “” Forgiven, avenged and forgotten, ” and so on depends solely on a rational awareness of the future prospects of the relationship with the abuser.
What do you think will be better for you personally in the future, what will be better for him personally, what will be better for both of you together? All these considerations should be taken into account when making decisions “Kick out”, “Beat up”, “Beat up, then kick out”, “Beat up, then leave”, “Kick out, then let go back” and other numerous variations – I leave room for your imagination.�
But it is only forgiveness – that is, the release of emotional tension-that allows for successful rational analysis. Therefore, it is necessary to forgive / simplify in any case, and then think about what to do.
In this sense – that is, as the removal of one's own inner tension, which makes one angry or depressed – forgiveness was also understood by Christ, although Christian followers understand it in a very peculiar way.�
In short, no private-only business. This is in English, but about the same thing )
The question is strange! Forgive someone, in the abstract to some person, or to you personally? In principle, you can forgive. For you personally? Do you know how to do this? If you don't know how, you probably can't. If you contact someone who will teach you and work hard in this direction, you will probably be able to.
In this matter, everything depends on skills, knowledge and abilities. However, just like everywhere else 🙂
The second oddity, why do you call this situation treason? As I understood it, the other person was just deceiving you about something. Infidelity is sexual contact with another person, if there was no sex, then why do you consider it treason?:)
If it is physical treason, then there are some subtleties. I advise you to read the articleTreason. What's wrong with it?
Life is huge… Living together, if for decades, is also a huge distance. The point is not in the facts themselves: changed, repented. And in the whole context: what is your relationship in general, what is it for you, what kind of person.�
Whatever you choose, just keep in mind that every situation changes. You are now deciding whether to forgive from a righteous position. And some time later, you can easily be embarrassed to find yourself in a similar role (and you didn't even know this about yourself)…
You know. I was recently tortured by a young man, a client, and” with what ” girls mostly turn to me about relationships.
I fought back: everything is different! But he was insistent: they say, still probably around one?!. And I suddenly realized why.
There is no other way to drive a car or build long-term close relationships. – I want to. But it's impossible.
So people come to me who make such training mistakes in relationships. To make sense of it. Or fix it now. Or at least not to repeat it with a new person later.
Your man seems to have made a mistake. This in itself is not fatal.�
The whole question is what's next: “the system is not characterized by an error, but by its reaction to an error.”..
There are many factors to look at.
How long did the relationship last, what they were like before the betrayal, is it possible that the one who was cheated on, for some reason of his own, abandoned the cheater for a long time, and he stopped waiting for the return found an outlet.
In general, you need to look not in general, but in particular. I can say for myself that I won't forgive you.
everything can be forgiven, and not only can it be, but it is also necessary, because a person is a weak being and susceptible to temptation, to temptations, and you need to treat him as you want to be treated. Another question is whether it is worth restoring relations to the level at which they were ? Should I start trusting the person again and open my heart to them? The main question is “buried” here. And he certainly has options – here you need to see for yourself, make sure and understand whether the person repented of what he did or pretended. Whether it has brought forth the fruit of repentance or not. It is only important not to try to manipulate him through his guilt and not to try to manipulate him and bring him to his knees – because in this case, you will already show emotional betrayal towards him.�
12 Therefore in all things whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, so do ye also unto them: for this is the law and the prophets.
13 Enter by the narrow gate, for wide is the gate, and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many go by it;
14 For narrow is the gate, and narrow is the way that leads to life, and few find it.
(Matthew 7: 12-14)