The engine of modern man is egoism. Even altruism is a form of selfishness. Can selfishness be healthy, and are you an egoist?

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9 Answers

  1. In order to act in the world, you need energy. Energy is given to a person by actual needs that need to be met. They create meaning and engagement. In other words, we all act for something important to ourselves. If the activity does not have its own meaning, the energy is not replenished. As a result, exhaustion and destruction of the body occurs.
    Just understanding one's own meanings, that is, what I get for myself in this or that activity, is called selfishness. In this sense, you can't do without it. And selfish motives here can even be the creation of beauty and caring for others – after all, I get something for myself. Satisfaction, for example.

    However, there is another type of selfishness – when I not only take care of myself, but also sincerely believe and even demand that everyone around me also put my interests above their own.

    Which of these two forms of selfishness is more selfish?)

  2. The term “selfishness” can have many different meanings.
    I understand this term as a combination of arrogance, greed, and impatience: self-directed interactions at the expense of others.
    I can't agree either that altruism is a form of selfishness, although altruism can be fanatically unhealthy (according to the scheme “others at the expense of self – destruction”), or that selfishness is the engine of a person.
    Selfishness is a brake on development, not the engine of a person, and in my opinion, it cannot be healthy.
    There are other meanings of this term that can be used in conjunction with the words “healthy” or “engine”, but I do not use them, so as not to get confused.
    The scheme of healthy interaction is built on a mutually beneficial win-win scheme: everyone wins.

  3. I already gave an answer to a similar question and I hope no one will consider it bad form if I throw off that answer of mine.

    Selfishness is absolutely normal and natural for a person. Selfishness allows us to think about ourselves and take care of our lives, our health, etc. It is essential for the survival of the individual.

    But not everything is so simple. Selfishness can also harm both the person and others. I don't know if people who are willing to go over their heads to achieve their goals are happy. I really don't know.

    Let's imagine that selfishness is a kind of “psychological organ”. It's just there. And as an organ, it can work normally, or it can be in a painful state.

    The lack of healthy selfishness, by the way, can cause harm, and not just bloated. Well, for example, when you do people a disservice without thinking about yourself ,you feel sorry for everyone, you help everyone, but you don't have the time, energy, or desire for yourself.

    In some cases, it is useful to say: Can I think about myself first?
    And in some cases: I am not alone in this world and it is worth thinking about those aroundclose to me.

    It's good when “you know when to choose the first” option, and when to choose the second. And here are the extreme forms:lack of healthy selfishness or bloated selfishness is not good to eat

  4. Selfishness has been the main driving force since the first songs.
    The whole economy is based on the theory of A. Smith:
    “It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker that we expect to receive our dinner, but from their consideration of their own interests. We do not appeal to their humanity, but to their selfishness, and We tell them not about our needs, but about their benefits.”

  5. It seems to me that yes, selfishness is a healthy phenomenon. Because there are no people without selfishness — it is absolutely normal to wish for something better for yourself and worry about your own skin (a banal instinct of self-preservation). Let's face it — even when we help a person for free, there is a tick somewhere in the back of our mind: “I helped him, he owes me.” So what's the point of altruism?

    Unhealthy selfishness, in my opinion, is when a person rushes to his goal over other people's heads. When they set up a colleague, when they betray a friend, and so on.

    I raise my head proudly and admit that I am an EGOTIST. At the same time, I like to help others, I get an unreal thrill when my help is somehow given in the life of another person. But I believe in karma and I believe that my good will come back to me.

  6. Selfishness is different. If you give pleasure to yourself at the expense of others, at the expense of destroying the world-this is very bad.

    Healthy and reasonable selfishness is fine. A wise person understands perfectly well that when he does good to other people or the world, he does it better for himself. This is no worse than just doing good to yourself. Because the soul in all these cases gets a positive experience and gets closer to God. And this is the meaning of life.

  7. I'll leave it here:

    http://www.theravada.ru/Teaching/Canon/Suttanta/Texts/dn15-mahanidana-sutta-sv.htm

    Reasoning about the “I” and feeling

    And in what ways, Ananda, does the one who talks about the self talk about it? The person who talks about the ” I “either argues that the” I “is a feeling, saying: “Feeling is my”I”. Or he reasons: “Feeling is not my 'I', [but] my ' I ' is outside the experience of feeling.” Or he reasons: “Feeling is not my 'I', [but] my ' I ' is not without the experience of feeling. My self feels, because my self is susceptible to feeling.”

    In this respect, Ananda, one who says, “Feeling is my self,” should be asked, ” Friend, there are these three kinds of feelings: pleasant feeling, painful feeling, neither-pleasant-nor-painful feeling. Which of these three kinds of feelings do you consider to be “I”?

    Ananda, in the case of someone experiencing a pleasant feeling, they are not experiencing a painful feeling or a neither-pleasant-nor-painful feeling at the same time. In this case, he feels only a pleasant feeling.

    In the case of someone experiencing a painful feeling, they are not experiencing a pleasant feeling or a neither-pleasant-nor-painful feeling at the same time. In this case, he feels only a painful feeling.

    In the case of someone experiencing a neither-pleasant-nor-painful feeling, they are not experiencing a pleasant feeling or a painful feeling at the same time. In this case, he experiences only a neither-pleasant-nor-painful feeling.

    Ananda, pleasant feeling is impermanent, conditioned, dependent, subject to annihilation, disintegration, extinction, cessation. The painful feeling is impermanent, conditioned, has arisen dependently, is subject to destruction, disintegration, extinction, cessation. Neither-pleasant-nor-painful feeling is impermanent, conditioned, dependent, subject to annihilation, decay, extinction, cessation.

    When someone experiences a pleasant feeling, they think, ” This is my self.” Then, when the pleasant feeling ceases, he thinks, ” My self has disappeared.” When a person experiences a painful feeling, he thinks: “This is my “I”. Then, with the cessation of the painful feeling, he thinks, ” My self is gone.” When a person experiences a neither-pleasant-nor-painful feeling, they think, ” This is my self.” Then, with the cessation of the neither-pleasant-nor-painful feeling, he thinks, ” My self is gone.”

    Therefore, the one who says, ” Feeling is my self “considers [his] self to be something that is impermanent even here and now, a mixture of pleasure and pain that is subject to arising and passing away. So, Ananda, because of this, it is not appropriate to reason like this: “Feeling is my self.

    Ananda, one who says, “Feeling is not my self, [but] my self is beyond the experience of feeling,” should be asked, “Friend, when there is nothing felt at all, can the idea of 'I am' arise?

    “Of course not, Master.”

    “So, Ananda, because of this, it is not appropriate to reason like this:' Feeling is not my self, [but] my self is outside the experience of feeling.'

    Anand, the one who says, ” Feeling is not my self, [but] my self is not without the experience of feeling. My ” I “feels, because my” I “is subject to feeling”, it should be asked: “Friend, if the feeling ceased completely and completely without any residue, then, with the complete absence of feeling, with the cessation of feeling, can [the idea]arise “I am”?

    “Of course not, Master.”

    “So, Ananda, because of this, it is not appropriate to reason like this:' Feeling is not my self, [but] my self is not without the experience of feeling. My self feels, because my self is susceptible to feeling.”

    Ananda, when a bhikkhu does not regard feeling as “I”, does not regard the “I” as lying outside the experience of feeling, and does not consider: “My “I” feels, because my “I” is subject to feeling”, then, without such reasoning, he does not cling to anything in the world. Without clinging, he is not excited. Without being agitated, he personally attains nibbana. He understands: “The birth is destroyed, the holy life is lived, what should have been done is done. There will no longer be a return to this state of existence.”

    Ananda, if anyone says of a monk whose mind has been thus liberated that he holds the view, “The Tathagata exists after death,” that is wrong. Or that he holds the view that the Tathagata does not exist after death… “The Tathagata both exists and does not exist after death”… “The Tathagata neither exists nor does not exist after death” – that would be wrong.

  8. To me, selfishness seems to be a problem for the individual, and nothing more. Usually they say about him: “he thinks only of himself.” This is simply a lack of empathy. You are freezing with a fellow passenger at a bus stop, and all the time you think “I'm cold”, but you don't even think “he's cold”, even though he is in the same conditions and the same as you. So much for selfishness – ” the great and terrible.” And it turns out this is most often because you grow up alone – and the ability to hear the other does not develop.

    So selfishness is not the engine of progress. If you want to earn money, do what someone needs. Also, do not mix selfishness and priorities of a biological individual. Selfishness does not consist in promoting yourself first, but in not recognizing the same needs of your fellow students.

    And yes, I'm selfish. And because of this, I feel like a kind of mentally disabled person, and not “something healthy”.

  9. There is self-care, self-love and caring for others, love for others. Egoism, narcissism, altruism (!), egocentrism – these are things of a neurotic nature. And altruism is ALSO NOT a healthy thing and does not lie in a place with care and love for one's neighbor. Because if you are punished, then there is fear, anxiety, anything else, But not healthy love.

    Below they also say that selfishness is a property characteristic of a person by default. This is true, but in infancy, when he is fighting for survival. Even before school, the child adapts to understand their own needs, opportunities and the needs of others

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