10 Answers

  1. Self-esteem is a very vague concept. You start to dig – and it seems that normal self-esteem in the world does not exist at all, only its overestimated or underestimated variants:). But in general, it is considered that it is normal for young people to have high self – esteem (previously, they indicated the age of 20-22 years, now, I think, the upper limit is at 30 years). Then comes life experience and people are already more aware of their human “value”.

    What are you doing wrong? You don't meet the expectations of others. If you want to work with it, it makes sense to politely and carefully ask: what is this very “crown” expressed in and how does your interlocutor see “correct” behavior, without a “crown”? If this is a hit-and-run, the conversation will stop immediately. If a person really has something to say, listen, but don't explain “why I'm like this”in any way. Just take note of what you hear, and then, after the conversation, think – maybe there really is a grain of truth in this. But it's still up to you to decide.

  2. Hello. I will try to answer your question as a psychologist, based on the psychoanalytic paradigm.

    It would be correct to say that each of us develops an individual idea of ourselves and of a stable, holistic sense of self = self-esteem. And accordingly, everyone has their own ways of maintaining self-esteem, self-esteem, if it is under threat in a particular situation.

    The question is whether these are ways to maintain self – esteem-internal (based on your experience, feelings, values, self-belief) or external (feedback from the environment, idealization), mature or immature, effective or not so much in the current life situation. And we can't look at self-esteem in isolation from relationships with others.

    It turns out that in response to your ways of expressing yourself, maintaining and protecting your self – esteem, you receive a negative response from your environment-that you have a “crown on your head”. And it bothers and confuses you.

    Therefore, to understand your question, you need to understand for yourself exactly how you manifest yourself, how you protect your self-esteem, what can shake it and in what cases, why exactly in your environment you receive such feedback and what can it be related to?

    Who determines whether self-esteem is overestimated or not? Is this normal or not? Maybe in a different context, this will turn out to be the norm. Or maybe your internal conflicts encourage you to use not very effective strategies for maintaining self-esteem and, accordingly, this causes such a response. Or there may be a problem in the existing relationships that you have surrounded yourself with.

    And most likely both.

    As you can see, you can't give an unambiguous answer without understanding the context. And you can fantasize indefinitely, because we will never guess exactly what is happening there.

  3. Overestimated self-esteem is a consequence of a distorted view of yourself. Even if you really are the best at everything, your self-esteem still remains normal, and does not create a “crown on your head”. The reasons for the “crown on your head” are usually that the people around you are very self-serving, or just a little inexperienced in terms of communication, and constantly “piss in your ears”, as they say, making some incredible compliments. Perhaps they are thereby trying to use you for some of their own selfish purposes, perhaps they simply do not know how to start a conversation with you, or perhaps they are just making fun of you. But you fall for it and take everything they say at face value. As a result, all the nonsense you hear from them – you take it very seriously at your own expense.

    A typical example is when a mother regularly tells her children that they are a “prince” or”princess”. And in the end, they grow up with a sincere belief in these words. Although no one else shares this opinion. But these children are already so convinced of this idea that they only consider everyone around them envious (or, as they say in the language of modern schoolboys, haters).

    It is up to you to live in your “distorted world” or solve this problem. It is quite possible that many people will come to terms with your lack. But alas, it is also possible that someone does not. And perhaps the one who first came to terms with it will change his mind later. It may just turn out that the person who turns away from you will be a very important loss in your life. So, first of all, try to learn how to filter all the information you receive about yourself from people around you and analyze it objectively.

    All the most talented and successful people are well aware that in this world they are a minority. And that they still need to survive among other people somehow. And the “crown on the head” does not really contribute to this. Therefore, you certainly know the price for yourself, but do not poke this price tag in everyone's face, at the first opportunity. Most people aren't interested in it at all. So be careful if you want to be treated appropriately.

  4. Valeria quite clearly pointed out the essence.
    I will only add that only the person who is really better at something ( or at least can portray it convincingly) can afford to have an inflated self-esteem.

    Maybe-an excellent specialist, maybe-can be very charming if he wants, maybe-super beautiful or talented.

    In general, society will take down your royal habits if you are really worth something ( or convince others that this is so, in fact-the same thing).

    And if not-well, then… alienation.

  5. (My answer is that it doesn't concern you personally, because I don't know anything about you.)
    So, people with high self-esteem – what are their characteristics? Pride?
    “There is so much greatness in you that you can't see a soul. Proud to the point of indecency, empty to the point of nausea.” In general, this is a conversation about the biblical 7 deadly sins.

  6. usually with a” crown on your head”, they call imaginary people, this is a contemptuous form of expression, and it is usually associated with the fact that people are disappointed in you, on the principle that they think they are not very good, but in fact they are a dummy, you can have an inflated self-esteem for example in certain areas of activity, provided that this is confirmed by business and skills, and if just a person is proud, then he causes a haughty attitude of others , the problem here is that others do not see in you what you are trying to seem to be, that's all . There are 2 options either to develop to match what you thought up for yourself there , or to put up with the contempt of others

  7. You can have any self-esteem you want, the main thing is not to consider others worse than yourself, especially not to show them this for nothing.

    Practice shows that all the problems in young females are caused by this.

  8. If this is said by one person or a group of closely related people( such as relatives, work team), then forget it. Honestly. Most likely, they are trying to manipulate you.�

    If there are different people who are not related and sometimes do not even know each other, then perhaps you should think about it. Since the city in which we live is always a small village. Your attitude towards other people can affect the situation in your future life.�

    And in general, it's hard to say. Little information available. If you think you are better than others, it is bad for you first of all. I lived like this and remember these feelings, they will 100% come out sideways. And if you're just in love with yourself, then don't stop.)

    A bit messy.)

  9. If we are already talking about self-love, here the answer is in the affirmative -loving yourself is not only possible, but also vital in order to live in harmony with yourself and the world around you.

    Another thing is to what extent. To put yourself above others and look down on people – this is not tolerated by any mentally healthy person in the same society as a sort of”blue-blooded person”. Moreover, it is not far from narcissism, and this is already a serious pathology. People will start to avoid you and avoid you-I'm sorry for the truth-uterus, but such people are very much disliked – no one wants to feel below the baseboard next to such a person.�

    Generalizing:

    1) It is possible, important and NECESSARY to love yourself.�

    2) It is also necessary to be proud of yourself, but not to the detriment of other people. After all, remember that a truly good person will treat others with respect, even if he knows for sure that in some ways he is better than them.

  10. no one cares about your self-esteem, as long as it doesn't interfere with communication and interaction. as soon as it gets in the way, you will either be excluded from communication, or they will come to terms with you as it is. see for yourself how big the risk is that you will be left without communication.

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