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Being offended is generally harmful to the individual – resentment is a kind of hole that drains energy and spoils health. A psychologically mature person-does not take offense, but draws conclusions.
Such a person is well aware of their own values and principles, and builds relationships based on them. Based on them, it remains in them or not.
It makes sense to write a map of values and principles, as far as your environment meets them. And also look at the scenarios of relationships that were “taken away” from their parents.
To forgive is to forget. Forget – it means that the actions of the offender did not exist, he is clean. Can you forget or how to forget? How can you purify a person from the act that caused you suffering? If you can forget small things, why can't you forget big things? In this way, we come to deeper questions that we can answer together.
I have answered this question many times, including on TQ: forgive always and everything.
Forgiveness is simplification. Forgiveness is an inner decision to “not worry”, not to bite yourself and another person and not to torment yourself with thoughts about the past, because it still cannot be changed.
But forgiveness, as an internal act, has nothing to do with the external actions that you will then take. That is, a person can be forgiven and then punished. A person can be forgiven and then abandoned. Etc.
All your subsequent external decisions, unlike the act of forgiveness, are directed not to the past, but to the future: that is, you make the decision about what to do now “In order to…”, and not “Because…”. Accordingly, they are not connected with forgiveness at all.
The ability to forgive comes at once. Someone learns this truth early, and to someone God reveals after suffering personal injuries, Forgiveness is salvation . You must always forgive . Even when you are in pain and very painful, unbearably painful . This is a betrayal ! This is my personal philosophy and the injunction of our Lord . This is not up for discussion. Grace upon grace to all from our Lord Jesus Christ.
Christ is Risen !
You can probably forgive everything, and you need to… But! For example, I can't understand the person who causes suffering and pain, but I can probably forgive them…Not immediately, but gradually… Whether or not we hold a grudge won't change our condition. As we suffered from the grief caused by the abuser, so we will suffer…. So it's easier to forgive. Maybe it's even more likely to help you forget what happened…Don't get hung up….Thank God it was nothing more, but the most difficult thing in my life was to forgive the doctor who persuaded me to have an operation after which I actually became disabled and the priest who gave his blessing for this operation…. But after the forgiveness, I even felt a little better….
You can't forgive yourself for self-esteem.
And as for the 7 deadly sins-it all depends on the conditions…
The monopoly on violence and lawlessness still exists for those who do not completely forgive others…
I believe that everything can be forgiven, except for betrayal. Even deception in my vision of the world is not so terrible. Because in modern society, trust is too tight, it is difficult to learn to trust people, it is difficult to allow them to trust themselves, and it is on mutual trust that the strongest social relationships are built.
You can forgive anything. Forgiveness is a license to do the same thing again in the future. Even forgive and let go – I allow you to “do the same”, but not with me. Although not the fact that the second time will be without you.