What can the discord within me mean?I have committed an act, I think it is terrible that I will suffer with my conscience, but I smile and think that I have very sweetly avenged myself.

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  1. What does it mean to have a good conversation with a psychologist?

    But offhand-duality is common to us, people, in general. You think about the horror, and feel the sweetness.And you can easily even feel both at the same time: horror and sweetness.

    You describe quite such a Dostoevsky story. Everyday life. I did something out of the rake-bitch repertoire, and… no shame. But, on the contrary, enthusiastically.

    Well, yes. Everyone has a devil and an angel. Normal. And is such a devil unclean?..

    Revenge is about justice, isn't it?

    And aggression is a healthy response to breaking personal boundaries.

    You have justly responded with natural aggression to the violation of your personal boundaries; what's the big deal?..

    • I mean, a mentally more or less stable person will always agree with his conscience, explain everything to her well. All defenses will work; yes, we all have them continuously working.

    In short, don't overestimate your conscience. She is not an unavoidable judge, but a very pliable girl.

    YOU seem to have to choose what to do. Strong-willed, arbitrary choice. Based on all sorts of different personal values.

    You can not deceive yourself with righteous explanations. A straight cynic, a pragmatist, usually has more opportunities than people with moral limitations.

    YOUR choice, yours. No “conscience” will do it for you.

  2. There is an ancient shamanic parable on this subject, which ends with this explanation of the old shaman:

    • in each of the men (warriors) live two wolves: a white one and a black one. And they are constantly fighting within us. For us, for having us. And one of them wins by the end of the man's journey.

    And to the question “and which of them wins?” the shaman said that the winner is the “wolf” that the man feeds more.

    Christians also often use this metaphor to explain internal conflicts.

    Psychologists also gave names to these subpersonalities of ours. The essence is about the same:

    The winner is the one we feed the most. And the second one …

  3. You were in too much pain, you couldn't stand the contact with that pain. To push the pain away from you, you aroused your anger and hid it. And when anger began to eat away at you, you didn't find a better way out than revenge.�

    Now it didn't hurt so much for a while, because the anger was out. And now you have a more abstract and confusing name for your pain – “conscience bites”.

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