8 Answers

  1. Such a person will spend his whole life trying to make up for everything that was not given to him / her in childhood. How exactly will it do this? But here it is different for everyone. Most common scenarios:

    1. Trying to earn other people's love and attention by sacrificing yourself and solving other people's problems;
    2. Revenge on everyone around you – aggression, rudeness, humiliation; lack of trust in anyone;
    3. Separation from everyone, making a decision “I don't need all this”;
    4. Care for depression (real, medical);
    5. Hypercompensation – creating a good and loving family, building equal relationships with other people.

    Naturally, in each case, the degree of severity of the scenario may be different, because much will depend on a large number of external factors. But it is very important to remember: lack of/the lack of parental attention and care in a person's life in childhood is really serious. But this is not a sentence. The latter scenario – with hypercompensation – is achievable.

  2. There are two questions in this question. The first is inattention, the second is lack of care.

    If you combine both questions, you will grow a man-Mowgli. This is the worst case scenario when there are no other people around.

    Parents are not the whole world that surrounds a person.

    Parents ' inattention will force the child to seek attention from other people.

    Lack of care will force the child to grow up ahead of time and take care of himself.

  3. To complexes.�

    There is also a strong opinion that only mom and dad love you for “just like that”, and if the child does not feel enough care and love on their part, first of all, his self-esteem suffers. And it suffers quite a lot. Multiply this by a child's impressionability and you get an unhappy person. It is not for nothing that when contacting a psychologist, the origins of most problems are found in childhood.

  4. To isolation, alienation from the family. In the future, perhaps the child himself will not be able to show parental love and care for his own children.

  5. There is a concept of “leading activity”in psychology and pedagogy. This is an activity, the performance of which determines the formation of the main psychological neoplasms of a person at a given stage of development of his personality. In the first month of a person's life, the main activity is emotional communication with the mother. That is, connecting with the definition, it is necessary for the development of the child's psyche. And if for some reason it is not present, then they talk about the syndrome of hospitalism.

    Hospitalism (from French. hospital is a syndrome of pathology of a child's mental and personal development that occurs as a result of separation from the mother, as well as its early institutionalization.


    Rene Spitz (1945), for the first time described in detail the syndrome of “hospitalism” in children brought up in orphanages for infants. According to the scientist, children who were deprived of constant emotional contact with someone from adults and personal participation in their development had a number of distinctive features. In particular, these kids could not learn to sit and stand on their own for a long time, were not interested in anything, did not know how to be happy and upset, were apathetic, their activity was reduced to the fact that they made monotonous movements of the arm, leg or body, sucked their finger until bloody wounds were formed.
    Signs of hospitalization are also weight loss, lethargy, apathy, increased drowsiness, muscle hypotension, withdrawal from contact with others (lack of visual tracking, turns “to the voice”, “walking” in response to an adult's caress), weak crying, etc.
    “Modern hospitalism”, or institutionalization, is characterized by a lack of bright, diverse emotions, curiosity, initiative, insufficient ability to play with objects, and a long delay in speech development (Avdeeva N. N. et al., 1996).
    Hospitalization syndrome develops, as a rule, in children kept in orphanages, orphanages, in isolation from maternal care and affection. And despite the accumulated experience of dealing with such children, specialists in these matters cannot completely overcome the phenomenon of hospitalism.�

    This is not an axiom, but the phenomenon is real and it does not lead to anything good. We, as speech pathologists, have had a lot of brain work done about this condition and its consequences.

  6. Here in this book – in detail, with links to serious research.�

    Sue Gerhardt “How Love Shapes a Child's Brain”http://www.labirint.ru/books/382941/?p=10210

    From the annotation:

    The book explains why love is essential for brain development in the first years of a child's life, how the emotional interaction between infants and their parents affects their further development, and what consequences they lead to.

    Sue Gerhardt, an English psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, explores the impact of the earliest relationships on the formation of the infant's nervous system. It shows how brain development affects further emotional well-being, and looks at specific early response patterns that can further influence the way we perceive stress, as well as the emergence of conditions such as anorexia, addictions of various kinds, and antisocial behavior.

    This book is a lively and accessible interpretation of the latest research in neurology, physiology, psychoanalysis, and biochemistry. This is an invaluable read for parents and professionals working in the field of child care.

    Polina Rychalova's review:

    If you are a responsible parent and haven't read this book yet, then do it, preferably right now. This book will tell you what happens to your child in the first months and years of life and what parent behavior is optimal for its development. If you like any information to be supported by links to scientific research , you can find them here. During the course of reading it, I was visited by various feelings, I cried a lot and several times experienced excruciating bouts of guilt. After reading it, it is very difficult to continue to adhere to the point of view that the child will adapt to any lifestyle of the parent, that the main thing is the calmness of the mother, and everything else will be added. The author uncompromisingly postulates the idea that the baby has specific needs and it is important for a good parent to meet them, and not to hide behind the convenient idea of the plasticity of the psyche of a small child. It wasn't easy for me to accept, even if that's what I've been trying to do for the last 2.5 years.

    This book requires inner maturity and the ability to have an honest dialogue with yourself.

  7. First of all, low self-esteem.

    To the wrong understanding of love – that love is not “despite”, but love “must be earned”.

    To difficulties with understanding others.

    Cruelty on the part of parents leads to aggressive behavior.

  8. There is no single answer and there will not be,different people, different destinies. If you really highlight something, then most likely there are two options for the development of events:either a person will try his best to give that very missing care, or on the contrary,he will take out all the resentment in the form of anger and aggression towards others. But it all depends on the personal qualities of a particular person and the mass of all possible circumstances.

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