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Replace the word “love “with the word” acceptance ” and everything will fall into place.
Accepting both yourself and others with all their shortcomings and imperfections are actions of the same order.�
And the difference from “selfishness” in this context is also obvious. Acceptance is the realization of what is good and what is bad about you. And selfishness is the belief that everything is good in you )
To me, love seems to be a conscious sympathy in the likeness. You are aware of a common ground in someone or something. That is, first I looked into my gut, and found its content-feelings, soul,and then opened them in another. Not just similar, but the same substance – both the air in the lungs is the same, and the feelings in people are the same, they do not belong to anyone, but circulate from individual to individual 🙂 There is an understanding that you (and this can be a person, an animal, a thing, or a fantasy) are like bubbles of the same water. This causes a strong degree of sympathy. The correlation may continue even before identification 🙂
So how will you love something or someone if you don't love yourself – that is, you don't recognize the dough that all bros are made of? But selfishness is a kind of foolishness, when you assign experienced feelings to yourself-like, they are only yours, and others can't have them. It's like taking in a breath of air. Selfishness denies similarity with bros 🙂
P.S. The quote in your question is someone's extravagant extravagance, the meaning fell out there 🙂
I always tell myself, don't read books translated into Russian. Too much distortion and misunderstanding. The same thing happened with the quote from Erich Fromm's book “The Art of Loving”, which you cite.�
“You can't really love another person unless you can love all of humanity, including yourself.” That's how the author wanted to say it. Pay attention to the word “for real”. And what this means, read below.�
The Art of Love is a book by psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm, released in 1956 as part of the World Perspectives series. In this work, Fromm develops his view of human nature. Erich Fromm was a German-born American (March 23, 1900-March 18, 1980). He was a founding member of the William Alanson White Institute of Psychiatry, Psychoanalysis, and Psychology in New York City.�
Fromm presents love as a skill that can be taught and developed, rejecting the idea of love as something magical and mysterious that cannot be analyzed and explained. Therefore, he is skeptical of popular ideas such as “falling in love” or suffering from love.
He believed that because modern people are alienated from each other and from nature, they seek refuge from loneliness in romantic love and marriage. However, Fromm notes that true love “is not a feeling that can be easily accessed by anyone.” Only when a person fully develops his ability to love his neighbor through “true humility, courage, faith, and discipline” does he gain the ability to experience true love. He believes that such love is very rare.�
In an interview, Fremm said: “Love is relatively rare today, because we have a lot of sentimentality; we have a lot of illusions about love. But the main thing is that you can't really fall in love, you just need to love. This means that the ability to love becomes one of the most important feelings in life.”
In his book The Art of Loving, the author states that true love includes four basic elements: caring, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. Each of these elements can be different, depending on people and circumstances. Love is hard work, but it is also the most rewarding kind of work.
One of the book's concepts is self – love. According to Fromm, self-love is very different from what we often call selfishness or selfishness: arrogance, vanity, or self-centeredness. Loving yourself means taking care of yourself, taking responsibility for yourself, respecting yourself, and knowing yourself (for example, being realistic and honest about your strengths and weaknesses). To truly love another person, you must first love yourself in this way.�
Your phrase is translated from English as “You can't really love another person if you can't love all of humanity, including yourself.”�
This book explores the theories of brotherly love, maternal and paternal love, erotic love, self-love, and God-love, and explores the causes of love's breakdown in modern culture.
To be able to fully understand the ideas illustrated in Fromm's book, you need to understand the concept of paradoxical thinking or have the ability to agree on opposing principles.