3 Answers

    1. Make it a rule to stop your activity with another person as soon as they have clearly and unambiguously made it clear to you that they do not want this activity. I didn't keep silent in the hope that you would fall off yourself, didn't fill you up with vague, allegorical, indirect, not addressed to you personally, etc.�hints, but preferably here directly сказал said. In controversial cases, it is even better to “ask yourself” specifically and ” directly (without puppy eyes and the double-bind “please tell me it's not so”) and ” act in accordance with the answer.

    If the person did not tell you in any way that he was uncomfortable, then the responsibility for the unfavorable situation is rather general (the same applies if he did, but it is very unclear). No one has a mind reader, and it's not constructive to make claims as if you had one.

    At the same time, of course, it is important to remember that not all people know how to define their boundaries, and that you do not see yourself from the outside, so it is certainly worth thinking about the probability that you are intrusive. However, feeling guilty for every situation for the rest of your life is unfair and will not give anyone anything.

    1. Think about what you are doing, why and why, and what resources (including, for example, “time and effort”) you are spending on it. Wouldn't it be better for you to spend the same energy and time on something that gives you a non-exclusive return? If this interaction and this situation suddenly seems completely unique and irreplaceable to you, then you should think about whether this is so. As a rule, this is generally never the case, so the next question is-what gave you this impression? What do you lose if you let the person go and let them leave you, refuse to communicate?

    Obsession is a waste of your energy, time that can be spent on building more equal relationships, your reputation in the eyes of other people, and so on. Usually, if a person goes to such a waste, it indicates some inner emptiness, frustration, in general, something that makes this waste more meaningful for him than maintaining the status quo. Lack of the skill to communicate with people and not bother them – in general, also frustration. And the root of frustration is desirable to find, because the fight against symptoms does not always help.

    1. Monitor the impact in relationships, equality of initiative and interest. Try to respond exactly to the level of initiative and interest that the partner shows by their actions.

    In practice, it happens that in a relationship, one type of initiative is shown by someone more often than the other. Or so that for some long (but not infinite)time period,Sometimes someone may need attention and support more than the other person. In a really close relationship,sometimes it is not clear at all who is what to whom, it becomes a lot of shared resources.�But to develop the skill of setting up a certain global balance of relations “for now”in your mind�you can also learn the skill of asking yourself for honest consent or disagreement with the current state of affairs, too, and they both make life much easier.

  1. In my (most likely) incorrect opinion, a person should be obsessive until they come across words and / or any signs from the object of influence. Then just go back in your mind to the moment when you didn't know this person as well as you do now.

  2. Ask yourself the question: “Is it bad that I'm obsessive?”

    And understand where the fine line is between such subjective concepts as good and bad. Obsession, a psychological component of a person. Where a person craves appropriate attention to their person. This factor is embedded in our minds from childhood. Inattention on the part of parents, peers, and friends. All this leads to an excessive amount of attention to the subject being contacted. If you want to get rid of this, you need to work with yourself, understand yourself. Surround them with a comfortable contingent

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