19 Answers

  1. I definitely wouldn't be able to forgive cheating. This answer probably occurs to most women and men. In my practice, I had to deal with hundreds of different clients, we worked through different issues and problems. However, the topic of infidelity is the most painful. Both women and men react to it in the same tragic way.

    Another topic is betrayal. A stab in the back from the person you least expect it from. Many people also can't handle it on their own. They need the help of a psychologist in order to restore trust in others, return to the usual rhythm of life, and get rid of paranoia.

    This also includes deception, lies, and duplicity. It is very painful when a person communicates perfectly with you, and behind your back literally throws mud at you. There is a misunderstanding, resentment, stupor-why is this happening? What did I do? Why did this happen to me?

    There are many things that can't be forgiven. Of course, whatever happens isn't the end of the world. However, after certain incidents, it is never possible to restore the previous attitude towards a friend, relative or partner. Yes, you can slightly blunt this offense, but the memories will not be erased from your memory, but will remain there in the form of scars.

  2. I still can't forgive those people who caused me psychological or physical injuries. No matter how hard I try, it doesn't work, nothing helps, I will describe only some of the cases that left an imprint from childhood.�

    Since I grew up without a father, no one taught me as a child that it is necessary to beat the face of the offender, and not try to establish a peaceful dialogue as my grandmother and mother taught. I was bullied from kindergarten and was the same punching bag to school, until I started to fight back against aggressors. In kindergarten, it was Maxim and Denis (bad things are remembered), the teachers looked at it not as a beating, but “oh, how funny the kids play”, for the place of slapping them. After going to school, the hooligans also transferred there, telling what kind of nanny the whole school is studying with them. Everyone was beaten – classmates, from neighboring classes managed to kick and even high school students. That's the first thing I couldn't forgive. My cousin was a couple of grades older, and it was two of his friends who often caught me after school, harassing me in every possible way, so that I was afraid to leave it and go home. They were waiting at the exit, dragged by the scruff of the neck and beaten by kicking behind the school. No matter how many times my parents told my brother to influence it somehow and talk to them, he would say “yes, yes, yes”, and I would come home beaten. I've learned from that time that his friends are dearer to him than his family. This betrayal of his was often revealed later in life. And now this is a drunken drunk, who even beat, only to wash his hands-I don't want to. But I still can't forgive him for that.�

    Somewhere in the 5th grade, we had pool lessons. I didn't want to go to them, but the teachers almost dragged me and gave me two marks for passing. But I still missed it, after one incident. Before him, I endured, even while the hooligans in the locker room beat me with wet towels. But they found a vulnerable point and I developed a phobia for life. Before the pool, the boys had to take a shower before putting on their swimming trunks. There was such a classmate Mikhail-a finished m*** * z. This guy and his famous six tormented me for most of school. Even though he was fat himself, he liked to make fun of me for his appearance. Then in the locker room, he kept waving a wet towel at me, slapping me in the corner, saying ” ugh fat! tits like a girl's!” I naturally put my hands out so that I wouldn't get hit in the face. His friend tore off the towel and started making jokes all over the locker room in front of the rest of the guys, “he's still a little pi*bka! like a woman's!” they all laughed and shoved me naked out the locker room door to the pool. Where the girls from the 2nd grades were already changing their clothes, who all started laughing wildly in unison, the shame was terrible. And in the locker room, they locked the door so I couldn't go back in. Then my swimming teacher yelled at me and shoved me into the locker room by the ear. The laughter continued and I ran home from school in shame, having managed to put on everything I could. Then I refused to go to school for a week, even if I was brought in on purpose, then I skipped running away. I still can't forgive these inhumans for the shame, after which I have a phobia for my full appearance and being alone with a girl I am ashamed to show my dignity in front of her. Although I understand that this is nonsense, but it shakes terribly, from which all the desire drops in both of them.

    In the 7th or 8th grade, I fell in love with a girl named Natasha. Like the other girls in my class, she looked at me like I was a sucker. When she broke up with her friend Eugene, I thought that this is my chance and she will appreciate the rush of feelings that I have for her, at 15 years old I thought that if you love a person, then he can not refuse you in any way, this is love. When I invited her to go for a walk, she and her friend just scoffed at the fact that I was following her like a tail and took advantage of it. But when I decided to voice my feelings about how much I love her, I was rejected through a friend, not even deigning to say a word, although she was standing next to me. A few days later, as if nothing had happened, she and her friend were invited to go for a walk, I didn't suspect anything wrong and on the way to one of the courtyards they told me “run!” with a smile, I didn't understand anything and then some guys flew in and started beating me severely. Then they hurt my back in the lower back. Naturally, no one was punished and no one filed a complaint with the police. I couldn't get out of bed properly for a month and could barely walk. I didn't suspect Natasha that it was her idea to teach me a lesson. Only the situation was repeated when I decided to start communicating with her again in the first year of school. I thought that we were communicating normally again and I would have a chance to start dating her, but as I was later explained, she blurted out to one of her friends that she just dynamited me to drink a beer at my expense in the company of my own friends. That it was she who led the guys who beat me up and crippled me. I got drunk and went to talk seriously to her house, but she didn't open the door and yelled at me to leave. Then I kicked the door open and left. The next day, I and two friends were attacked by some scumbags who knew kickboxing with the excuse that I broke down her door and that because of me, she broke up with a guy I didn't even know about. We got a good beating. My nose and rib were broken. I still can't forgive her, the constant desire for revenge for a broken heart and crippled health. This bitch is making it really hard for me to trust girls.�

    There were many other cases that I still can't forgive people, but these three have ruined my life since I was a child.

  3. In principle, I can justify and forgive anything. But I don't think I can continue to be with this person.

    For me, taboo is a spiritual betrayal. When a person's thoughts are not with me.

  4. In some moments of personal stupidity, sometimes there are blots of a lifetime.But given a number of possibilities, it's not so bad.As it is, so it is,something now

  5. The question is interesting in this context. Psychological statistics show that the overwhelming majority of people in surveys, questionnaires, interviews, and private conversations answer such a question with “betrayal” or”lies”.

    This perfectly characterizes one of the basic properties of the human psyche and lazy intelligence – the desire to exist in a predictable, conflict-free environment. That is, in the Land of the Elves.

    While it is precisely the understanding that lies and betrayal are the standard model of human behavior, people are unreliable, and the world is unpredictable, that is one of the main criteria for successful behavior.

  6. It is very difficult to understand, and most importantly, to forgive, when you find out that people with whom you communicate well and whom you consider, if not friends, then at least comrades, water you behind your back. Fortunately, this rarely happened. Or so I think. The rest, plus or minus, can be understood over time. Including lies and treachery.

  7. It just so happens that in my life I do not make such high demands on people that I can “forgive” or “not forgive” them, so for myself I will redefine this question in this form – with whom I would not keep in contact. So, offhand now thinking – it is unlikely that I would voluntarily maintain communication with the carrier of such high requirements. And there are, of course, different levels of interaction, such as personal and business. Honesty, of course, is important at the business level, and deception is not forgiven in the sense that no one will continue to conduct business with the deceiver. But, as it is well said and not by me, “every person you meet is fighting a battle that you don't know anything about”(c) – and deceivers are no exception.

  8. You can forgive everything in general, but whether it is worth dealing with a person after certain actions – that's the question. Even betrayal can be forgiven, but only forgiven, and forgiveness does not mean that the friendship/relationship will continue. They will simply end peacefully and the person will no longer waste his time and soul on the traitor.

  9. Unfortunately, we can forgive almost anything to the people we love. Both lies and treachery, we only need them to repent or pretend, innocently batting our eyes.�

    And people in whom we are disappointed, have a negative attitude, or are indifferent, almost nothing is forgiven, even an unwashed plate can cause a break in relationships when you are in a bad mood.

  10. There are no things that, objectively, would be impossible to forgive, in one context or another. As noted above, people are simply not able, by their nature, not to resort to lies, treachery, treachery, in the event that their fate depends on it, or they are as convinced as possible that it will go unnoticed. It turns out that waiting for something more, ephemeral nobility, honesty, is trite stupid and naive)�
    Understanding this, it is quite simple to be skeptical about such things)

  11. Causing harm/pain/suffering to my loved ones: murder (God forbid), violence, etc. These people, no matter how close they are, will be my enemies once and for all. And an interesting point – the person who hurt me, I would most likely forgive. But here it depends on the specific situation)

  12. I helped my friend in a relationship, she constantly complained about the guy. I told her to leave him at last. She quit. After a couple of days, I made up, I told her that nothing would change on his part and it would get better. I asked him to delete messages from the VK so that the guy wouldn't see them, otherwise he would have banned me from communicating with him. She assured me that he wouldn't read it. As a result, a couple of days later, he wrote to me from her account that I was encouraging my friend to act as a prostitute and I was fucking�

    She may not have written it, but I'll never forgive her. And since then, I've been helping people less

  13. In my opinion, you can forgive everything, especially if a person is dear to you, close and not indifferent, the only thing that all this does not come immediately. In order to accept and understand the person -that he did it for certain reasons, which at one time or another became a turning point for him. Don't forget that everyone lives for themselves, no matter how rude it may sound. Everyone consciously makes one or another choice and this can upset, offend or disappoint the other in many moments, but this absolutely does not mean that no matter how right and good a person you are, you will not do the same in relation to someone… You can forgive, but the main thing is not to forget how to believe everyone else…

    Purely my opinion, although I myself while writing this text surfaced a couple of unpleasant moments that I thought I would never forgive…

  14. you can forgive it, but you already know what kind of person you are disappointed in him…

    it's much worse when you know that a person is unreliable, that you can't count on them.

    who the fuck needs an apology if it doesn't change or help anything.

  15. I would never forgive two things: hypocrisy and treason.

    1. How can you cheat on the person you're building a relationship with?�

    2. Well, here, I think, and so everything is clear.

  16. It is important to understand what made a person do this or that act towards you.Often we judge people who have done something but do not know the reasons.

    For example, listen, after 4 years of marriage,a guy goes missing.The girl begins to think that the guy is a complete person and curses him with all the words and swears that he will never forgive .In fact, he'd just disappeared because he'd gotten into something and disappeared for her safety.(sorry for my infantile example).

    So you need to understand the motivation of behavior and then give an assessment.

  17. If someone ate the yummy food I kept for myself. And you can't forgive theQuestion for the 140-character limit. You can forgive betrayal, deception, or treason, but not the 140-character limit.

  18. Slander from a person I consider close. I counted it. For 14 years now, I can't forgive my own grandmother for accusing a 9-or 10-year-old me of stealing a large amount of money. She didn't apologize, though. I hate that old rat thing with all my being. On some holiday, I dream of receiving the news of her death as a gift and going to dance on her grave

  19. I can forgive everything. Another thing is how and / or how quickly it will be possible to maintain the same relationship with a person.
    Many would say ” betrayal.” But this is such a subjective and relative thing. On the one hand, the criteria for this word are only in our head. For some, treason is a betrayal, but for me, it's not. On the other hand, we place high hopes on a person, endow him with qualities, but none of our friends/relatives, etc., at the same time, takes oaths of loyalty.
    Everything changes. And people, depending on the time, situation, and circumstances, are transformed. Yes, the essence remains, but there is growth, growing up, “wisdom”, etc. You were offended yesterday by a person, and today he is already a different person. That's what I agree with. I only listen to my feelings, and they change and are always relevant. If, on an intuitive level, you assume that a person can once again do you meanness, then stop communicating with him. And here it is not even necessary to bring sin, in my opinion, until the moment of committing it is already clear – what a person is very capable of.
    I can only add that I don't like it when people openly use me.

Leave a Reply