2 Answers

  1. Patience is the ability to calmly live through the moment when the expectations of the mind and external reality do not match. There are harmful things, and there are useful ones. If a person tolerates harmful things, it is evil. If a person tolerates useful things, it is a blessing. What are some harmful things? Hatred, greed, stupidity, addictions — the main harmful things. And vice versa: empathy, generosity, wisdom, freedom-useful things. Accordingly, if a person tolerates manifestations of hatred, greed, stupidity, addictions, if he tries to accustom his mind to these harmful things, it is harmful, it leads to painful consequences. Conversely, if a person tolerates expressions of empathy, generosity, wisdom, and freedom, then this is useful, it leads to a reduction in the number of painful problems and helps the person become happier.

  2. Oh, if only you could write out all the moves – but that doesn't happen. Here you need a personal search and personal knowledge. Because everyone has different circumstances, different vocations, different levels, etc. There is one prayer of the righteous living in the Middle Ages, it seems to give some answer to your question and sounds like this:

    Help me, Lord, to come to terms with what I cannot change (endure),
    Change what I have to change (don't tolerate)
    And give me the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.

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