7 Answers

  1. I think it's more important how we feel inside and how comfortable we are with it. And also what significance we put in evaluating ourselves from any of the sides. We see ourselves through the prism of our beliefs about ourselves, our complexes and attitudes from childhood, and so on. Others see something different in us. What they have encountered in their life and what they think is similar to us. A specific template. Others also see themselves in us and often attribute their own thoughts, feelings, and character traits. This is called projection. In any case, no one sees the true picture.

  2. You can't see yourself from the back, but others can see you from the back.

    So which is more important: the back or the front of the torso?

    If you are not satisfied with this allegorical answer, then I do not know how else to explain that your question is at least strange.

  3. Many people have seen a picture with a boy, a grandfather, a donkey and the opinions of others about who should sit and who should walk. And it's true, it's impossible to please everyone. And if you always pay attention only to the opinion of others, eventually you will understand that everyone, in theory, does not give a fuck. Hence the conclusion that it is more important how we see ourselves. Because our attitude to ourselves must shape the attitude of others to us. After all, this is our life, not theirs.

    But on the other hand, by paying attention to how others see you, you can understand that something is wrong with you. Diagnose your mistakes, correct them, or accept them. So you need to pay attention to how others see you, but understand that what is more important is how you see yourself.

  4. It seems that there is no such opposition at all. To activate the process of self-awareness(self-vision), you need to look at yourself from the outside. However, you are physically unable to do this, you need the Other Person's gaze. Without a mirror, you can't even see your appearance, but to recognize yourself in the mirror, you already need to be able to compare yourself with other people. this process begins in deep childhood-remember how the child calls his hand-handle, leg-leg, repeating after his mother, realizing himself through her. So, starting with your mother, you construct your image. As for the inner world, a whole group of psychological professions are aimed at helping us deal with ourselves. And even they don't always succeed. that is, it is even more difficult. It turns out that our vision of ourselves is the result of refraction of” different visions ” of others or comparing ourselves with the examples of others, striving to imitate or oppose them, etc. We perceive ourselves in comparison to others, and others in comparison to ourselves. That is, the discrepancy that occurs if others do not evaluate us as we would like ( in your heart you think that you are a funny showman, and you are seen as a gloomy misanthrope, you are the best bright person in the world, and you are told that you are the last scoundrel) is either our inept representation, or the discrepancy between the ideas formed by you about goodeautymorality, etc. If we are not satisfied with this, we either ignore the opinions of this group, or adapt to it, or look for a close group. In general, the question of what others think about us is relevant only for very anxious people who are not sure of the correctness of their formed ideas about themselves. If you remove this anxiety, the question will disappear by itself.

  5. A. S. Griboyedov:

    • Why are other people's opinions only holy?

    • Ah! evil tongues are scarier than a gun.

    • And who are the judges?

    “Ah! Oh my God! what will he say � � � Princess Mary Alekseyevna!

    Read the classics.

    SEEM simple, BE harder. And what is more important-everyone decides for themselves.

  6. Neither one nor the other.

    A person sees himself subjectively. Therefore, to rely on your own opinion about yourself is to deceive yourself. It's not that there are no exceptions, but those who know how to evaluate themselves at least somewhat honestly – this is about a couple of people per thousand, and maybe even 10,000. And these people certainly don't have anyone who wants to ask such a question.

    But others also see a person subjectively. And given the fact that they do not know a person very well, it is simply stupid to rely on their opinion. But this is if you take as surrounding everyone in a row.

    Obviously, the solution is to rely on the opinion of people who really know the person well, and who have a chance to evaluate the person at least somewhat objectively.
    I. e. parents and wife/husband are not suitable.
    Friends are suitable, maybe cousins are suitable (but with them it's already a matter of luck). Here their opinion can be at least a little informative, and you can rely on it.
    But not because it is very accurate, but because all other points of view are obviously worse.

  7. I suppose the former, since it largely affects the latter. For example, if a person has low (or low) self-esteem, is not confident in himself, believes that he has a lot of shortcomings, ignoring or ignoring his own merits, this most directly affects his behavior, actions, and communication with others. Therefore, you should not often scold yourself in front of society, especially if it is not a circle of relatives and friends. If, on the contrary, a person is confident in himself, knows what he is worth, knows what he can do, what his strengths are, what his attractive features are-he plays on this, others believe that the person is successful, capable, attractive, and treat him accordingly. In general, this is so, without taking into account nuances, presenting yourself emotionally, and so on (it is clear that arrogance, arrogance, etc. make their own adjustments).

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