4 Answers

  1. In general, you are right, although there are, of course, exceptions. For example, I am interested in communicating with dissidents, if they are ready for dialogue and discussions, and not swearing and attacks. Usually, it's just more pleasant for us to communicate with those who are “on the same wavelength”with us. They are more interesting, easier, and more comfortable to work with. The possibilities of social perception of an individual are limited. Having 1000 friends, for example, is unrealistic. It is clear that we make a selection and choose those who are good with us. It's like sex. You will not go to bed with someone who does not attract and does not give pleasure, just for the sake of demonstrating tolerance and respect for otherness.

  2. On the one hand, yes, we are attracted to people who look like us. They are clear to us, and the values coincide. And on a conscious level, we want to communicate with such people. The psyche strives for consistency and our brain does not want to waste energy on something that can destroy stability. But there are opposite situations when they cause strong emotions
    or for some reason start liking people with features that are different from us and even disapproved of by us. For example, a well-bred young lady suddenly falls in love with a bully or vice versa. She will be attracted to his courage, the freedom to do what she wants, to go beyond what is allowed. And his neatness, politeness, ability to calmly survive restrictions in it. That is, we may start to be attracted to other people by those traits that are not typical of us on a conscious level. The fact is that such traits are also present in us, but we are not aware of them. They are forbidden here. And when we see someone calmly doing something that we shouldn't, our psyche begins to react strongly emotionally. Either a sharp condemnation, censure and rejection, or sympathy and love. Carl Jung called such forbidden unconscious traits of our personality a ” Shadow.” The important thing to understand is that if we have a strong emotional reaction to someone, it can tell us something new about ourselves. We do not want to see and accept something in ourselves that can destroy our idea of our “I”.

  3. This is one of the mistakes of human thinking-the desire to confirm one's point of view (confirmative thinking). These people are probably not looking for the truth. Scientists should have the opposite principle: to find out in what cases and under what conditions this or that statement is incorrect and why.

  4. It is easier and more comfortable for people to communicate with those with whom they have a similar background. Otherwise, it can be difficult to understand each other. If you are offended by this, then you can think about what you can do to attract people who are not like you, who are interesting to you, but you are not very interesting to them.

    But there are always possible exceptions – someone is interested in looking at other worlds in communication, for example. Unless, of course, this other world is aggressively imposed on them – no one likes it at all.

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