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It's not about why you broke up, it's about why you got together. It has long been no secret that we base our choice of partner on two main characteristics: the mental or physical similarity to the parent of the opposite sex and the sufficient difference in the DNA code.
We understand the first by looking at a person or communicating with them, and the second-through smells and kisses.�
And apparently you choose people with similar psychotypes, some of which are negative.
As the saying goes, waiting for a miracle is better than the miracle itself.So it is here .People do not have the same expectation,that is, they want to have some kind of goal.And it turns out that when the goal is achieved ,then there is no longer any interest in it.Therefore, it quickly bores a person and he wants to feel this sense of search, a sense of purpose, a sense of expectation.And he again waits, achieves the goal and searches.And since he is already a little used to that type of partner,he is looking for a similar one.It turns out such a game for feelings that does not lead anywhere.
We often choose partners to fill our childhood attachment deficit. To be satisfied with what we lack. If you pay attention to which partners you choose and what you want from them, you may find an unmet need. The trap is that the partner is not a mom or dad, �can't fill in the gap. But it is possible to get it with another adult. It is called the selected family or selected parent. This is a specific contract, one person has it and can and wants to share it with you. �For example, tenderness and hugs. Of course, you want to get everything from one person-a partner, but these are rare exceptions.�
So it turns out that they found one that smelled like it, did not find satisfaction and went in search of another similar one. Once again, the partner here is just an object to fill the deficit. If you notice a full-fledged partner in him, do not fight and do not squeeze the most out of him, you can relax. A difficult question – what are you looking for, what were you deprived of?
A person's motivation can be very complex. In short , this is how a person satisfies some of their unconscious needs. For example, in adult life, he can reproduce the relationships that he saw in his parents ' childhood without realizing it. Or if, for example, he “wants” to feel like a savior – he can choose an alcoholic partner every time. If you realize these needs, you will have a chance to change your inclinations. The difficulty is that there are all sorts of psychological defenses that prevent this from happening.
“A holy place is never empty”)
Probably, here a big role is played by blindness – it is simple and clear for children and creative personalities, having played enough with one thing, to move on to something radically new and unknown. And it is easier for most people to follow the “beaten paths”, to focus on the “proven” type of people, for example. Perhaps subconsciously already somehow.. So it turns out podi such cases.