7 Answers

  1. If possible, I will write a short everyday formula: the pleasure of something is “reality” minus “expectation”. Accordingly, if we have more expectations, then we remain dissatisfied, even if everything was not bad. Accordingly, if we didn't really expect anything, we will be satisfied even with some small things. Something like this

  2. Admit. I write or call a girl, all happy, enthusiastic, full of tender feelings, etc. She responds with a delay, listlessly, refers to constant employment, and conversations end quickly… The first couple of times you admit such a situation and do not attach importance. But then it repeats from time to time. It becomes clear to you that she doesn't want to talk to you, but you still expect a text or call back. Hope smoulders. So weeks pass… You completely stop writing, and if you receive incoming messages from her, then you sit and think ” what the fuck?”. You no longer have the desire to communicate with her, and a flash of activity is perceived as “I was unlucky with someone else-I'm bored-I need someone's attention, and then I remembered about you”, which is perceived as”using you”. There is no need to talk about sincerity. As a result, you've wanted to get close to her for so long (in terms of emotional intimacy) and haven't received a response for so long that you eventually burn out. You don't need her texts or calls anymore…

  3. Maybe it's just high expectations. Do I have to wait? It is important to just live, enjoy the minutes, create the present. Give warmth and do good.

  4. It may be slightly off topic, but here is an article (not mine) that partially covers this issue:

    “Do you want to save more, but like to go shopping? Walk around, look at the windows, but do not touch anything, and even more so, do not pick up. Once again, do not touch the products, no matter how interesting and attractive they may seem. This will allow you to avoid making spontaneous purchases without any problems.

    Scientific explanation

    Dopamine, a hormone that is still called the “pleasure hormone”in some places (for example, in Wikipedia), comes on the scene. In fact, dopamine is the hormone of desire, not pleasure: it makes you want, but does not bring a sense of satisfaction. Dopamine acts like a carrot stuck in front of a donkey's nose: it forces you to move endlessly after your desires, but all the time it pushes the reward away. You may have noticed that the anticipation of buying something that you have long wanted always gives you more positive emotions than the subsequent pleasure of owning this thing.

    Your dopaminergic neurons start working as soon as you see something interesting and attractive, but they work a hundred times more effectively when what you want becomes tangible-literally. The blood rushes to your face, your heart starts pounding faster (dopamine is the biochemical precursor of adrenaline) — and without noticing it, you are already putting some unnecessary nonsense in the basket. Stick your hands deep in your pockets and stare at the merchandise — but no more.”

  5. emotions show the attitude to the motive. Positive emotions when achieving a goal indicate that the motives for which this goal was chosen are satisfied. Conversely, when we achieve a goal and do not get any moral satisfaction, then the goal was not correlated with the motive accurately enough.

    well, an example from the first year of the Faculty of Psychology. Many people go to university. But the reasons are all different. And just imagine, the lists of applicants are posted, and we can find two people. Odin is very happy. But why not? Even at school, he dreamed of entering here, prepared for a long time, and now the dream has come true. And next to him is a little girl crying. What's the big deal? Do you think she didn't get in? Not at all. I did it, and even showed one of the best results. But why is she crying like that? She is unrequited in love with a guy. And I chose this university only because of being always with him. But he didn't do it. And its goal has not been achieved.

    There are many other reasons even for entering a university, such a simple example: choosing a university based on proximity to home, choosing it based on parental patronage, continuing a professional family dynasty, choosing a university based on prestige or where it is easier to enroll. But there is always a purpose behind all these motives. And if the goal and motive are incorrectly correlated, and as a result of the action, the goal was not achieved, no positive emotions will be received even from the person who is hotly desired.

    and only a thorough analysis of such situations in the past, a more thoughtful and attentive attitude to yourself, your desires and goals will help in such cases.

  6. People often don't know what they want.
    For example, ask any guy: does he want a new sports car(for example, a Ferrari California)? Most people will say: of course!

    But they have no idea what it feels like to drive, and they don't know what it's like to own an expensive car.�
    So they arrive in their illusions, where they have drawn in their head what it will look like.
    And if they have one, it will suddenly turn out that you can only drive with the suspension of these cars within the Moscow ring, that in order to drive such a car, you need to have certain skills, and that the cost of servicing this car is appropriate… etc.
    The feeling of happiness as a hand will remove.

    To prevent this from happening, clearly imagine your goal and do not run after the mirages imposed on you by society.

  7. Waiting always has a stronger impact than what is happening, it is often said that waiting for death is worse than death itself, or for example waiting for the first kiss: everyone thinks this is magic(I had a good day, and therefore I am an exception😸), but this is not so

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