5 Answers

  1. The strategy of” Being like everyone else ” protects us, because we are stronger in a team than individually.

    But such security requires us to pay a high price-to stop being a unique person, but to be like everyone else, that is, an average individual.

    This state of abandonment of their individuality is quite painful, and a person always wants to be who they really are, develop their unique abilities and realize their personal destiny.

    it turns out that each person is constantly faced with a choice between 2 alarms and between 2 defenses:

    1. Anxiety of loneliness and insecurity. And then security gives you group membership.

    2. Anxiety to blend in with the gray mass and never be realized as a unique individual. And then the defense against this anxiety is to separate from the team and choose your own personal path.

    So most people spend their entire lives balancing between these two opposites, looking for a”golden mean”.

    In fact, it is best to use both of these strategies, but each in the right circumstances.

    For example, in times of difficulties, it is better to call on the protection of the group, and in matters where creativity is needed, it is good to show your individuality.

  2. It's not that complicated. Fundamental human needs include both a certain status (ambition) and security.

    The desire to stand out from the crowd is a consequence of the first, the tendency to be like everyone else is a sign of the second. There may be a conflict at the command level, but it can be resolved.

  3. Maslow's pyramid.

    Being like everyone else is one of the basic, lowest levels. The feeling of “herd” gives us a sense of security, “if something is wrong – I will be supported, they will stand up for me, they will help me.” Therefore, it is very important for us to have an environment of “our” people.

    A step higher is the need for self-realization. If everything is fine with me, I am completely safe-it means that I can create, I can show individuality.

    Therefore, such selection usually occurs within the framework of generally accepted behavior – in order to simultaneously stand out and not destroy this basic step. You don't need to go far for examples – I want to get smarter in my answers – I stand out, self-actualize, and raise my self-esteem. But if the answer is doomed to dislikes , then it's not a fact that I will answer, even if I think I'm right. Precisely because I will lose people's support. A sense of” gregariousness ” (read – security) is more important than the desire to stand out. And this is even though I understand how it works and, perhaps, even sincerely believe that this is who-who, and I am always an honest, always sincere fighter for justice, who can disregard public opinion. But subconsciously, it still works to some extent.

    Of course, there are exceptions, but basically everything happens somehow.

  4. These are two sides of the same coin. “To rise to the rank of officer (stand out), you need to be a standard private (like everyone else).” You just want to be encouraged by a system that you recognize and support accordingly. If you look closely, most of the personal “riots” allegedly directed against the crowd are aimed at building into it. This is similar to mating games in the animal world: males try to stand out from the crowd, but only in order to eventually take their rightful place in this mass.

  5. This is a clear sign of infantile behavior )

    As you know, any teenager has two fears:�

    1. Am I just like everyone else?

    2. Am I different from everyone else?

    Many people just don't let go of these childhood fears all their lives…

    In contrast, an adult ceases both to show off in front of the society around him, and to suck up to it: he calmly follows his goals and interests, catching a fair wind…)

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