17 Answers

  1. First, I decided to write about teenagers whose psyche is crippled by a homophobic society that makes them think that they are sick perverts. And about adults, like Stirlitz leading a double life, just because they love a person of their own sex.

    But then I realized that even the longest text will not lead to anything, because a person is such a being who feels only what concerns his precious person.

    Do you want to know what it feels like? Declare yourself gay. Then you will find out how many friends you will have left, what your relatives will say, and how your work colleagues will start looking at you.

    And as a video illustration of what it's like to be gay in Russia, you can watch this story. And it involves not even gays, but just two guys. Instead of a thousand words, as they say.


  2. I don't know – I'm not gay. You ask the gays. In general, there is an inconsistent policy in this regard – where is the ban on the song “gay, Slavs”? Where is the ban on mentioning the Gay-Lussac scholar? Yes, there is even a university in St. Petersburg-VSEGEI, they definitely only accept rear-wheel drive people there – and since this oats is there, then gays live normally in Russia

  3. Personally, it's hard for me mentally. It becomes quite unpleasant when you value a person, and when it comes to the topic of orientation, he starts talking about “I would cut all these faggots” (while the rest of the time he is well-mannered and pleasant in communication, which is frightening in contrast). Then you realize that you have given a piece of yourself to someone who, at the first opportunity, will kill you as objectionable.

    It's hard to keep explaining that gay relationships aren't just about sex. There are such things, of course, but even among straight people you can find relationships for the sake of sex, no? Another thing is that psychologically unstable homosexual people, not realizing that sex alone will not help their condition very much, try to “cure” themselves through one-time relationships and ignore such an important spiritual part.

    In general, I would say that living in Russia, even for a homosexual and self-confident person, will have an unpleasant effect. At first, this is not noticeable, but over time all this accumulates, mental health deteriorates, and serious physiological problems develop against this background. Well, poor health, depression, seclusion and everything else that develops because of the above, makes the life of a homosexual quite difficult. And this is without any gopniks and cattle on the street.

  4. I, as an open gay man, will say that I feel normal. All my friends in the course of this fact and normally perceive it. When I first realized that I was “not like everyone else”, my environment took it with tolerance, of course, at first they made jokes like jokes about rear-wheel drive, but it wasn't offensive. Perhaps I was just in an environment where there were no homophobes, but still, first of all, you need to present yourself correctly, and of course a little self-irony.

  5. I am 24 years old, I work, travel, have fun, my environment: family, friends, colleagues know that I am gay, I can kiss a guy on the streets of Moscow or take his hand. Sounds rosy, doesn't it? Alas, I am not an indicator, the situation is different. For the sake of realism, I'll use my own example.

    Until I was 21, I was the average gay person in Russia. Main Features: hiding, trying to correct himself, looking for reasons, deceiving, adapting, afraid of everything and everyone when it comes to his orientation. There are still a lot of them. Yes, it was really difficult for me.

    Moment of realization: I'm 12, thinking about what's going on, something is clearly wrong. There is no craving for girls, but there is a palpable attachment to guys. Teenage maximalism nurtured complexes inside, transition age, standard, but that's not all. In trying to understand what was going on inside me, I was alone: family support was not an option available at that time. Society speaks about the abnormality of homosexuality, the state supports primacy with proper laws. As a result, almost 10 years of life were lived imperfectly. You know, like it's a half-measure, an attempt to be yourself, laced with sarcasm, humor, and cases that protect the inside.

    Is it hard to be gay in Russia? No. But my path to this “no” was hard, that's for sure. There are many who do not pass it, and even more who do not begin to go. Now openness is an uptrend, and I still don't believe it's indicative. Mindfulness is what you need to move forward. Here is something that will help people like me to answer “no” to the question of the gravity of their fate. After all, when you think about it, you realize that “gay” is just another stigma to make it easier to navigate. Let it be difficult, even if not immediately, I want to be a “person” whose expression of feelings is not important to those around me!

  6. How many of you are there, 3-5%?
    and how many are unemployed, single mothers, street children and other disadvantaged categories? how many people are not satisfied with their salary and overall life? clearly a little more)and most people don't care about gays, “let them do what they want at home.” Violence comes from only a small category: Cossacks, ultra-rightists, Enteos. And then during quite provocative actions.

  7. In fact, the problem is very heterogeneous, but this is really a problem. Speaking about attitudes towards gays in Russia is generally difficult, just like in any other country in the world.

    It all depends on the person himself, on the environment where he lives and grew up, on his upbringing, and on many other factors.

    First of all, it should probably be said that the biggest problem that worries the LGBT community, namely rejection and rejection, and sometimes undisguised hatred towards dissimilar people, is instinctive and deeply psychological in nature. This is not a reaction based on a reasonable approach, but rather a manifestation of the animal part of a person, his fear of the incomprehensible and different from himself.

    There are many examples when parents, having learned about the non-traditional sexual orientation of a child, are literally ready to sever all ties with him, expel him from home. This is hardly a healthy reaction. There are many cases of gays being beaten, threatened, and so on.

    But it is very important to understand that all of the above is still marginal behavior, which (many will disagree with me, but this is my personal opinion) is not supported by the main part of Russian society.

    I say this based on personal experience.

    Of course, if two young people walk down the street in Russia holding hands, it will cause a negative reaction from passers-by. It is difficult to judge people for this, because it is not customary in our country. The law banning homosexuality was repealed not so long ago, and it is difficult to change the opinion of people that has been formed so quickly for generations. However, I believe that it will change over time.

    I really don't like the attitude towards gays in Europe and America. Tolerance is good and correct, but the whole problem is that with excessive attention to the problem, people start to feel special, many politicians in Europe, making a “coming out” earn extra points in front of the electorate, this is already a transfer of personal life to the public plane, which is fundamentally wrong. There is nothing special about homosexuality, orientation is a personal matter for everyone. It is important to create an atmosphere where such things will not stand out in principle. And in Russia, gay people can also live happily ever after. The main thing is to be honest with yourself and not consider yourself a victim.

  8. Apart from the West, gay life in Russia is disgusting! Our people are not yet tolerant of LGBT minorities. But we can say for sure that in 30-50 years, Russia will look at LGBT people in a completely different way. In the meantime, it has what we have.

  9. In Russia, it's not that it's hard to be gay, in Russia it's hard just to have your own opinion different from the official one. In general, I think that for the Russian authorities and most representatives of our society, a person who is not like everyone else and a gay person is one person. And if there were now an article in the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation for sodomy, it would, as in the case of the Soviet Department, for the most part, not so much gays would be jailed as dissenters and dissenters. In general, if you do not love the motherland ( read: king, party, president) then you are a piderast.

  10. In my city, LGBT parties are held in one bar after midnight, only acquaintances and “verified” organizers come there, immediately after everyone has entered, the doors are locked with a key so that no one on the left enters. It looks like a gathering of spies, too.

    I also know a couple, a homo guy and girl, who live together and their parents think they're dating so they don't have to ask any questions.

    These are unhappy people, they cannot love, because in this small society everyone already knows each other perfectly well and it is a big risk to open up for new acquaintances.

  11. No, it's fine at all.My company knows everything about me.And my parents know.I got used to jokes and jokes for a long time,even the most funny)Laughing at yourself sometimes is also nice)But not about that…
    Homophobes,of course, poison life,and I have encountered such people.But, as practice has shown, the main thing is to be a person.And whether you're gay or not, it takes a back seat.I don't have any friends who would turn away if they found out about me
    In general, it's like being gay in Russia)

  12. Addition to other responses.

    You can measure for a long time who has more serious problems, and find out that there is still nothing more terrible than the holy inquisition.

    But it is more useful to pay attention to the specifics of gay issues:

    • People are born gay.Gay people don't consciously “create” problems for themselves. Gays are not currency mortgagees (who got into trouble), impoverished grannies (who hoped for a pension, but were cheated), or political activists (who know what they are doing and why they are doing it). All these people deserve sympathy and help, not total victimblaming, but homosexuality is a purely biological trait, and it is impossible to avoid it, just as you can not choose your ethnicity.
    • Gay people don't have any problems other than those that are artificially created for them. A gay man doesn't need money for an operation in Germany, any special social support, and so on.
    • Gay people often don't have a “close circle” of people to rely on. Gay men are born randomly in ordinary families.
    • All the problems of gays are solved simply by changes in public morals and legislation, and the situation improves very quickly and for free.
  13. Since I used to communicate in informal circles, I knew about a dozen people who were gay. One of them told me that they live as if in a secret community, always saying : “There are many more of us than you might think.” It is also worth noting that he was a long-time Armenian with a corresponding “decent” family and led a double life. The other did not hide anything and was an outcast in his neighborhood, constantly someone painted his front door and shat in every possible way surreptitiously (but they did not beat him). The others are all badly beaten, with false teeth, torn lobes, and one with a broken spine. The city seems rather big, quite progressive and advanced (Sochi), but even here gays are not favored, what can we say about hot spots… In social terms, I don't see any disadvantages, but there have always been a lot of stupid idiots in the society, so being gay in Russia is definitely traumatic.

    In such an aggressive society, not to mention gay, here they can hang you for a point of view. I was beaten for my delicate atheism. People asked me about religion, and I said I didn't have one, and I was immediately fired up. Some punks, by the way, was. But that's off-topic, okay. If you are different, it is better to keep quiet, it is not allowed here.

  14. how does it bomb homosexuals who believe that only their problems (which they certainly have) the scariest and most important things in the world.

    such a batthert shows the stupidity of a person (I do not connect this with sexual orientation in any way)

    of course, LGBT people have a lot of problems, and they are harassed and discriminated against, it is not easy for them to live, any sane person understands this (again, it does not matter what orientation they are. I'm a straight guy, but I sympathize with lgbt people)

    at the same time, the screams of some gay people that they are the most unhappy people in the world (a la Carlson) and that the example with other oppressed social groups is not appropriate only shows the egocentrism, accentuation and narrow thinking of these individuals.

    and anticipating a huge number of cons and angry comments from gays, they say: “YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!11ODINODIN ” I will immediately say that among my friends there are homosexuals, and even transgender people, and I am well aware of their problems (frankly speaking, gay people did not even dream of transgender problems in their nightmares) the point of my comment is not to silence LGBT issues, but to show the flawed thinking of those people (and among gays, not everyone is like that, there are also adequate ones) who consider only their own problems worthy of attention and the most difficult trials in the world.

    you are just infantile egoists with limited, fixated thinking on the level of radical feminists, vegans, and other sectarians…

  15. It all depends on the environment, but in general, our society cannot and does not want to accept people as they are. Here is the question of educating older generations who lived during the article “for sodomy”, who are trying to instill their life position in their descendants, absolutely not understanding the full depth of the problem. It is especially difficult for those who live in republics where the influence of religions is much stronger, where the fate of children is planned by parents who match their daughters at the age of 16 for “eligible suitors”. I do not speak from a fool, I know a specific example.

    Here I would like to say that the modern generation is still growing more tolerant and reasonable, and bullying in schools, for example, has become less. I can use my own example to say that I know quite a lot of LGBT youth all over Russia, but I personally don't know anyone who is not accepted by friends. Over time, with conversations, with a creak, but accepted. Problems arise precisely with the acceptance of older generations.

  16. It is no harder than being a Ukrainian, a liberal, a single mother or a representative of any other social group that is not close to the”body”. Moreover, the severity also varies depending on geography, education, profession, social circle and financial situation. Just like everyone else. Gay people are just another object of contempt for millions of Russian citizens, whose national idea is to hate someone (Germans, Americans, Jews, blacks, gays, ham, Brie cheese, Belarusian shrimp, white ribbons, Venediktov, Ukupnik, Time Machine… )

    Of course, the obstacles that a gay person faces are different from the obstacles that any other person faces, and can range from a brief sadness that you can't fully engage in a conversation about family with your online game teammates to a continuous struggle for your own life. But even if we exclude this point and imagine that gays have complete mutual understanding with society and the law, then life in Russia becomes easier by only one point, and the question is transformed into the question “Is it hard to be in Russia”.

    Such cases.

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